Hi all!

[J2DTX]

Just curious. It’s always a good idea to review coping skills. What are your top 3 coping skills for your mental health ??

Mine:

1. Spending time w family and friends

2. Working out

3. Learning about nature and gardening , gardening when weather permits.

[hypercat54]

My first one is the same as yours. My second and third ones are stroking my cat, and going to bed! x

[En1234]

Hi Jenny,

My three are:-

1. Going for a nice long walk. Even if its raining. Big parka, big hood and all cosy, and then coming home for a nice cup of tea or coffee!!

2. Looking at photos of my son when he was a wee boy and up to date. He is now 19. (I like to remind myself that of all the rotten things that have happened in my life, he is the one GOOD thing that happened!!). Looking at him always cheers me up!!

3. Reading a good book. I love anything to do with Henry the Eighth and his six wives. The Tudor era just fascinates me. A good book can transport you to a different world and takes you completely away from your own troubles for a wee while!!

Right now, I have just come back from my walk and am sitting with my coffee and my book!!

XXX

[J2DTX in reply to En1234]

Those all sound really relaxing!

[sweetiepye]

Hi Jenny, I love reading. It takes me out of my world for awhile.

I like to change rooms in my house in some way thinking I will have a new start. and I also like to hide away by myself and remember better days. It reminds me who I am. Pam

[J2DTX in reply to sweetiepye]

Self-reflection is so important in recovery. I believe. Great job!

[Stilltrying_]

Thanks for the positive post ! It's very welcome X

MIne are the following. 1) Realising that I am normal and nothing I think is way out or personality disordered. I had been told I had borderline personality disorder but have since had several specialists tell me that they never really thought this was the case and they have now agreed thank God I don't have this disorder. Apologies to anyone who does have it; I know it is a real and terrible illness but I was wrongly labelled and beat myself up about it constantly as is my way but now I have stopped beating myself up and believe I am normal.

2) Exercise, exercise and more exercise. Incase you didn't get the message exercise does it for me! It makes me feel 100% better. I like walking yoga, stretch, broga, pilates, dance, cycling (not as much as the others but I still do it)

3) Just chatting to anyone and everyone at the moment and realising its ok to be myself. There's actually nothing wrong with the way I am.

4) TV. I have started watching Dave (TV channel in UK) on catchup on the computer. It is free to watch such hilarious shows as Taskmaster, 9 out of 10 cats, Live at the Apollo, Q.I. Etc. These programs give me a good belly laugh and take my mind off any worries I may have.

5) Don't feel sorry for myself. Life has been tough but now it is improving. I try and keep myself as strong mentally and physically as I can.

6) I now like myself. This makes a huge difference but can't be achieved just by being told to like yourself. It's taken me till age nearly 60 to think like this and its been a process, mainly of grief in losing my mother 3 years ago but realising that now she is no longer here she really can no longer control me (she was a narcissist) and I am my own person.

There you go. End of rant! Well you did ask!!

Gemmalouise xxx

[J2DTX in reply to Stilltrying_]

Very good list of coping skills. Exercise is so important in overall health AND mental health . Keep up the great work !

[En1234]

You should like yourself Gemmalouise. You sound like a very likable person and also very wise!. XXXX

[Stilltrying_ in reply to En1234]

Thankyou EN1234 That comment was lovely to read. You too come across as very wise. Xx

[Zoea]

Hmm it can be tricky as I have bad patches

1) Basic mindfulness techniques. Stretches, watching your breathing, calming your thoughts that kind of thing

2) Sleep. Strangely I find sleep is often best when I'm having symptoms, if I can fall asleep at all that is

3) Light exercise (medium walks) and / or seeing friends and family

4) Medication! I came off it for a while but it does really help. The side effects of Amisulpiride don't seem that bad to me, compared to previous medications.

[J2DTX in reply to Zoea]

I have been working on staying in the present moment. I need to work on my breathing too. I find myself holding my breath alot. I have asthma also, and lately I've been confused it its my asthma or my anxiety flaring up. I love to sleep.

[Andshe]

This post is so positive and supportive, such a lovely apprach to sharing success and giving ideas to others. Mine1: reviewing and reflecting in a diary considering how an event made me feel, my sense of achievement,closeness to others others and enjoyment. Reflecting back on what a journey I have been on and feeling grateful and worthwhile

2: spending more time investing in creating amazing memories with friends and family and taking photos of those times or wrwriting about them. This includes simple things like blowing raspberries with my children, going to the park as well as luxuries ( spa days) and special occasions.

3: talking to friends and family

4: These phrases

" I am going to..... ( insert activity/ event) ...and I will feel ( insert emotion).

This phrase helps me reign in my feelings of anxiety and prevent the spiral of negative thoughts and accept my feelings are fine and are just that - feelings.

"That is for future me to worry / think about "

Helps me live in the moment. This has been one of the most difficult to become habitual and is a tough skill to get used to.

Thank you for posting this, it could support those at the start of this journey and those trying to prevent a relapse. Well done!!😊

[J2DTX in reply to Andshe]

Wow those are great coping skill. I really like the assertive positive self talk. That is something I’ve been working on for years. It’s a challenge w those damn negative thoughts. Thank you for sharing with us!!

[Jobloke]

Zumba and salsa dancing, spending time with friends and family, drinking !

[J2DTX in reply to Jobloke]

Zumba Is so much fun ! Love it!!

[Foof]

Sooo...there are a couple answers for me here. The first is what I do when I know I’m sinking and giving In to it....

1. Sleep. I go to bed, it’s my safe place and sleep allows me to escape

2. In the past it was drinking, but I eventually reached a point where I used to feel so ill, that I have now more or less given up alcohol. It wasn’t a willpower thing, it was more of a “ I feel crap in my head so why make my body feel crap too?”

3. Food. Comfort eating

When it’s taking me over and I can’t seem to fight it..

1. Soduko, chess, patience....online

2. Forcing myself to clean my house and cook a nice meal for my 15 yr old son...because it’s not fair on him but it starts with one task at a time.

3. I have volunteered at a charity shop for several years....to the point that I am now the manager haha....when I was a volunteer, I always used to pop in unannaounced and do a couple of hours with them. I immediately felt better because I was busy and with people.

Recovering..

1. Work, or before I was the manager, volunteering

2. I have removed many people from my life, not necessarily because they were bad but because my association with them was toxic for me. However, there have been very toxic people who have now been removed. I also apply this to situations. That also includes things like Facebook. Get rid of it.

3. I have learned to be alone and enjoy my own company. Rediscovering me and what I like and don’t like. Enjoying my home and my youngest son. Sometimes it’s lonely, but in the whole I really value my own space and time.

And a couple of mantras

“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.”

“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness. Eckhart Tolle

“Is fear preventing you from taking action? Acknowledge the fear, watch it, take your attention into it, be fully present with it. Doing so cuts the link between the fear and your thinking. Don't let the fear rise up into your mind. Use the power of the Now. Fear cannot prevail against it. Eckhart T

brainyquote.com/quotes/eckh...

Whoops...and I forgot to say that reading Ekhart Tolle made HUGE difference to my thought processes 😊😊😊😊😊

[J2DTX in reply to Foof]

We definitely have some things in Food. I volunteer for a local nonprofit. I really enjoy helping contribute to the community.

I too have removed people who did not serve me anymore. It’s important to set those boundaries and love yourself enough to let go.

[AjMiki]

Extremely impressive post Foof.

[Heruga]

Oh I love number 3! plants are everything to me. They are a part of my life. I am a horticulturist in my job and I definitely know how much plants and nature and all the activities associated with it can help with your depression and anxiety. It makes me very peaceful and feel like I am in a totally different world. I just can't wait until spring.... I've already been designing and planning my garden for this year

Sorry got a little too into my passion. But anyways my 3 are:

1) Gardening-dealing with plants physically, propagating, planning, designing, researching, studying

2) Music-especially nature sounds and... gothic dark ambience...

3) Spending time with my girlfriend

[gilip]

Go back to bed

Go for a walk in the sun

Eat chocolate