A reason to live

[Frozenimages]

People may say that living for external things is a bad idea because they are temporary. While it's true that living for yourself is ideal, but if you're not to that point yet, that's okay too.

You can live for whatever needs you or whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come where you can live for yourself.

I thought of this last night. I was feeling broken. Like I wanted to just leave it all behind and disappear. Run away from my problems, my pain, my hurt, my family. Thinking that I can't do this anymore, I can't keep fighting to try to make things better when it feels like I'm running in quicksand.

I live for my kids. If it weren't for my kids, I don't know where I would be. I live for them because I know they need me. I've already seen from my husband what abandonment by a mother does to a son. I can't do that to them. He has his own mental health issues that stem from abandonment and abuse. Because of them, I have the strength and courage to keep greeting every new day and keep fighting to be here.

What do you live for?

[WantToChange]

Good question. And a perfect one for starting the new year

[StrangerTides]

Im currently living for myself. i find my addiction to passing time away to be a great distraction from whats not good enough in my life. the two things i've learned so ungracefully in the last few months seem to be the most profound to me.

firstly its not about how I situation is not perfect. i find joy in making it just a tiny bit better because i struggle to do this it feels like an acomplishment to me.

and secondly i've noticed when i make the people around me happy i seem to get a tiny bit in return. i'm not upset when people turn around after and hurt me. im grateful they showed me who they are today.

I have no goals but i seem to keep finding ways to be ok with that.

[Suzie40]

Mine is probably my children and what I'd leave them with if I was gone. Doesn't make it a particularly easy existence though.

[Frozenimages in reply to Suzie40]

It doesn't. I feel you on that. I keep thinking that this is not what I pictured my life to turn out as either. I hope that one day we both can get to that point where we do live for ourselves and find happiness within. I know it's going to be a long hard journey, but will try to keep finding meaning to keep moving forward.

[Suzie40 in reply to Frozenimages]

My children are both teenagers now and I worry about being lonely when they both leave home x

[hypercat54]

Well I don't have kids or anyone to live for so I do envy you all who do.

I live because it is habit. Because life was given to me and no one has a right to take it from me including myself. Now I am retired life is a lot easier coz I no longer have to struggle to work which is a blessing. I now do things I want to which is great. x

[DragonTears]

I live to find a home for my heart. I live to search for that feeling, ever escaping me, where I feel like a real and solid part of my surroundings. I live in search of that rare moment when I reach out to a ghost of myself and find the hand touching of flesh. That second where I can see clearly I am a real person, but like a dream, the illusion bursts and I fade. I play the game of life, the theatre of a person who belongs. But behind the curtains I am forever lost and looking for a home for my heart.

[hypercat54 in reply to DragonTears]

Your heart has a good home - within you. That's where it belongs. From that safe place you can loan it to others but it will always be yours. x