Major depression

[Wannabeny]

So... I was diagnosed w/ ADHD/Anxiety/Depression as a child. all of which run in my immediate family. I have one brother with adhd, another brother with adhd/depression, my mom haa depression/anxiety/alchohol & pill abuse, and my sister has severe anxiety.

At 28, I made the decision to start nursing school. Did well, then failed a course, passed, then failed the 2nd course. Withdrew. Overall, it pushed me a year past my graduation date (it was a 18 month program)

Feeling so depressed again. I'm behind on bills, put myself in more debt to goto school, living w/ my crazy mother and her husband who molested me as a child repeatedly (she knew all along).

Thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years who among being a raging alchoholic/gambler/pot smoker loves the hell out of me. We were long distance throughout the last yr due to my schooling and now i feel like such a failure having to take a step back to work my low wage job that I hate; a job i only took because i wanted to start school.

I'm so depressed I don't want to be around anyone. I have never smoked,I don't drink, do drugs, etc. But I have poor money management that my ADHD makes that 10x worse. I jumped into buying a car I can't afford due to my last one being on its last leg and having to spend the $3.5K i had saved to buy a new car, on living expenses thanks to the BF gambling away all our savings. So my payments are $450, and my insurance skyrocketed to $340 because i let it lapse being unable to pay it during nursing school. Now I have $800 worth of bills on a $11.53/hr wage.

I'm trying to pick myself up by working (which I don't want to do. I dread my nanny job and my atupid low wage job), getting ahead on my bills, and figuring out school.

Feel so down. Don't know how to get out of this. Hate coming "home" to my molestor, and drunk """mother""" who chain smokes in the house all day. My family are making me feel like a failure with leaving school.

I just really need some advice or support. I'm scaring myself because I've been randomly bursting into tears everyday, I don't want to do anything. I'm so stressed out I'm depressing myself.

[lil_avocado]

Hello, I’m Aly. It sounds like you’re going through a really hard time right now... and I’m so very sorry. Is there anyone else you can stay with ? Your environment doesn’t sound very healthy for you right now and where your mental health stands.

I’m always here. You can always message me or I message you. Whichever you like.

I hope things get better and things start looking out for you.

Best wishes and luck!

💕💕