Why can I not shake depression after 10 years

[Deflated1]

Sometimes it's so bad I lose all control, turn to alcohol and make things even worse. Today I needed to tell my boss but it was the hardest thing I've done admitting I had not only a depressive state of mind but a drink problem too.

[marigold22]

Are you on any medication for your depression? I now know that my long term depression is in my genes - discovered my great grandmother committed suicide. I've done a lot of research online and it seems to be about serotonin uptake in the brain. I've lately been using natural tablets which do help naturesbest.co.uk/5-htp-tab...

Your drinking is most likely to drown out the depression, to make the pain go away. It isn't the answer but I do understand.

[Deflated1 in reply to marigold22]

Hi,

I'm not on any medication and have tried to avoid meds if possible. I divorced at 23, 3 children to deal with and am ex husband who only married me to stay in the country. I buried myself in work, studied and have been professionally successful but the past 4 years have been a mess! I've always been the life and soul and never talk about my problems but the binge drinking every few months leaves me in a state where I can't function for days. My last episode was only a month ago so felt I needed to come clean to my boss but sure I've done the right thing. I make rash decisions in the wrong frame of mind then wish I hadn't. I'm now 37 and making a complete fool of myself under the influence