Hi , I don't really know where to start but I have been diagnosed and treated for depression anxiety etc for about the last 15 years but there's a lot more going on than depression , I think I can't explain myself properly or only just understood what happens.
I am 43 years old man and my depression has always followed a manic episode and always matched the severity ie the higher I was the low would be equal , I have only just realised this for what it is and never explained this to dr's as I didn't see it as bad but over the last 2 years I have had 4 manic episodes that have been uncontrollable and extremely severe with huge consiquenses .
I don't seem to be in control or even know what I'm doing .
The first one I gave all my furniture to charity shops and had to live without without any furniture for 6 months because I had no money
The second one I don't even remember going but I was at a mainline train station and got caught at the end of the platform laughing by the staff I don't know what I I was doing there unless I was going to jump, I laughed it off to them and told them I was using my phone
The 3 rd I am from Manchester where my family and support live and in the space of 2 days rented a flat and moved to Scotland ,why ? I don't know ? And have been here for 8 months with noii hope of getting back to Manchester
The 4th line is just coming to an end and has been the highest intense terrifying one to date .... So much so I have been paranoid more than ever , and believed my neighbors were conspiring against me (I still do) and started banging on there door and became aggressive ,
I've been suicidal in the past and under the care of the crisis team and I have an appointment with a psychologist on the 11th of next month but I don't know if I can wait that long .
I am prescribed promazine , stertraline and beta blockers but nothing seems to work for me .
Can anyone advise as to what I can do please ?