Agony. The heavy emotion that comes with the familiar cloud of hopelessness and emptying joy out of my soul.
Depression, thoughts clouding my mind, affecting my reactions, isolating me from those caring, confused, seemingly strangers to my world.
I don't understand. Purpose. Why?
Success at work, why?
Making money, then what is next?
Find a lover? Then what will I do, hung by the fragility of them holding my heart and using puppet strings to manipulate my mind...
Its gone, it feels like. The drive.
It feels like its gone by.
While the most painful look into my soul is the small hope of gaining purpose back, but in fear remaining in self-pity in the case of stepping out..
And finding dreams crushed.
But through the chaos of depressive thoughts, I must walk. Step by step, though I fall. My God please pick me up.
May I see truth and healing to be my purpose.
Giving to be my fuel.
Acceptance to be my encouragement
Community to be my comfort.
May gain what has been lost, purpose....