Seperation is breaking me

[AmeliaBailey]

Hi, my partner left me just over a week ago and I'm really not coping. I have never had these feelings before and I don't like it. Things had a been a little argumentative for 6 weeks before that due to some difficulties - she has a court day due to an assault, she has work troubles, she has money worry and she threw herself in to work which is was we started arguing about. Her doing night shifts and me missing spending time together. She kept saying she hated that she kept hurting and upsetting me and then she left me. Saying she is confused and her head is a mess and suddenly she wants to go study at the opposite end of the country. I think she has had a bit of a crisis. I was so worried I had thought about speaking to her Mum to which she was really mad at me for considering. She initially said she wanted no part of my life. I had some trauma in the last week and contacted her as I just needed her. She was kind enough offered to help out with things. I havent taken her up on that. I assume she feels sorry for me. I'm very hurt, I miss her and I'm very lonely. I can make my days busy but my nights feel empty and lonely. Every night I cry. I'm hardly eating and sleep is difficult. I do have a therapist and I'm seeing her on Friday (havent seen her since the breakup). I literally have no idea what to do. I genuinely believed (and probably still do), that we are supposed to be together. I never believed in soul mates until I met her. Now she's gone and I have nothing. I'm surrounded by friends but feel so alone. She has started attending some therapy this week she told me and is getting some support at work. I have said I will still attend the court case with her, she initially said I didnt need to but this may have changed. I will speak to her closer to the time. I think for now I have to cease contact though. It's very painful emotionally and it doesnt help that i am desperately worried about her and what she is dealing with. People keep saying I need to think about and take care of myself. That's very hard when you love someone.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Amelia

Welcome to this community and thank you for your post. It sounds as if you are having a very difficult time and you are doing well to share your situation with us. It sounds as if you have some caring friends who have your welfare at heart.

Have you thought of sharing your situation with a doctor? Perhaps it will be helpful to contact your therapist before Friday to discuss things.

This is a supportive community, so our members may have more information and support for you.

Do take care and keep in touch

[AmeliaBailey in reply to MAS_Nurse]

I teally do have supportive friends, however I fear I am becoming a burdon, or an irritation.

I have a few fears as I have suffered with borderline personality for many years; for the past several years I have really kept control and been in a really strong place. This breakdown however has really pushed me and therefore I feel quite frightened as to how it may escalate.

[Sarah1111111 in reply to AmeliaBailey]

do you have a care coordinator that you could have a catch up with, just let them know whats happened and get them to help you think through a plan to help yourself stay well as you deal with it? if not possibly your GP might be able to help with this. good to hear you have great friends - im sure they would want to help you so even though it is hard keep talking to them and allow them to help where they are able