Feeling Low(i'm new here)

[zelda999]

I have just separated from my husband, got money worries. On the sick with tendon Achilles, been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I'm constantly worrying, about how to food on table, pay bills. Pay for my daughters clothing etc. I keep hitting myself to make more ill. Been to doctors, been put on a waiting list to see a counsellor. All my debts are under control, just need more money. Since taking ant-depressants feel more suicidal. Just don't know what to do no more.

[Brannagh]

I'm new here as well. Anxiety and depression two of the multiple diagnoses I have. How long have you been on your current meds? If they are making your symptoms worse go back to your doctor and discuss other medication options. It can take trial and error to get the right drug(s) for you. Do not stop taking them suddenly as that will make matters worse. Made that error myself years ago. Am so glad you are on a list for a counsellor. Will keep my fingers crossed you get in soon. Big hugs 🤗

[Lynne48]

Hello, this is my first post and I just wanted to say how much I relate to what you're going through. My partner of 6 and half years yesterday dropped the bomb shell that he can not take anymore and is leaving me, he added that he hasn't been happy in around 18 months, especially since christmas and apparently the last 3 months have been so bad for him it has made him feel ill trying to work out how to tell me. My only son is moving out to go to university next week and i have elderly parents who i care for, i started taking antidepressants on my 40th birthday (yey happy birthday) I recently increased the dose and felt better for around 2 weeks then back to my normal. Even though I knew my partner wasn't happy, he has always looked after me and been supportive, in fact the best partner a girl could have, and my first instict was to feel bad that i have made him so unhappy for all of this time, i feel like our relationship has been a lie and i question everything now. He knew about my depression from the beginning and to be fair he has put up with a lot from me, but i pushed too far, and took him for granted once to often that he couldn't take anymore. I just wish he had spoken to me about it, but he never once sat me down and told me how my coldness and lack of interest and affection was affecting him, if he had I would have seriously done all i could to turn it around, he was my best friend and soul mate and i have lost him through my own fault, but unintentionally, it was and is the depression that haunts my waking hours, every day is a struggle to just get through the day. I am lucky to have a job and good family and friends but they can't make me like myself more, or feel less anxious, or stop my thoughts running away to places i don't like going. I have put on weight, which i think was a major factor in his decision, he likes to train with weights and is careful what he eats, I on the other hand am overweight with health issues, not an attractive trait for a body concious person, even though he always told me i was beautiful in his eyes and he will always love me as i am !! evidentley not. I am a bookworm who loves solitude and i use it as a sheild to cope when things get tough, he is an ex rugby player, likes his weed, beer going out with mates etc, but i had been there and done that (i am 9 years older than him) it just doesn't appeal to me anymore, i have been through a messy divorce, raised my child mainly alone with just my parents and friends support, had to cope with my parents varying health issues as well as my own and raise my son in a stable loving home, hence the start of antidepressants, it all got too much to cope with. 9 years down the line i feel worse, i have pushed the man who i love with all my heart away, making him ill in the process, am loosing my son to uni life, and reverted back to needing my parents and retreating to their spare room as i can't face being at home without him there. Money worries are looming, I work for the NHS so no pay rise for me although the cost of living is increasing at a scary rate, i have just sat down and worked my money out and i am scared of what is going to happen to me, scared scared scared, and now desperately lonely without my safety net of a loving boyfriend and beautiful son. I asked the GP today for HRT patches as i am convinced i am perimenopausal but she said they don't like to give them out unless i am having hot flushes which is the only one symptom i am not getting, i have every other symptom on the list though, she suggested increasing my dose of antidepressants, which i declined and then asked if i wanted sleeping tablets for the short term ! no i don't thank you, my head feels muzzy and i have trouble concentrating as it is without taking more meds to make me feel worse. I am sorry to rant, but I don't know what to do or where to turn, i am so very lonely and feel my feelings are so highly strung and fraught they will snap and i will fall, who will look after me then, and how can i look after my elderly parents..Nightmare situation.

I am thinking of you and what you are going through, i think society is a lot to blame we put to much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect wife, partner, mother, daughter, son etc that we take on to much but our minds and bodies can't cope. My GP suggested a soya based diet and excersise !! i am to have blood tests and she may trial me with HRT for a month to see if i feel better after that...my hopes aren't high. Do you have family and friends who can lend a shoulder and help ?

Just know that you are not alone and that even the richest most successful people struggle with this illness, it's hateful and i wouldn't wish how i feel on my worst enemy.

Keep your chin up Zelda999

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