I don't know where to begin. I believe I've been depressed now for a good few years. It has manifested in many different ways. I have tried to be strong and resilient but it's defeating me and I feel physically and mentally crippled. I live in the UK and fear this government will class me as fit for work or sanction me for being anxious and depressed.
I've recently had a severe headache that has lasted nearly a month and I don't think this is related to my anxiety or depression. The pain of the headache is crippling. Truly crippling. Keeps me in bed in the morning, prevents me from sleeping. Making me sleep in the middle of the day. I've also been having suicidal ideations as life is not improving at all. I currently take Propranolol for anxiety, I'm a week in to the course of medication but it seems to have not taken effect yet. This chronic headache has continued for the best part of a month. I thought it was a tension type headache caused by anxiety, but the meds don't seem to be working in removing the headache.
My depression also seems to be getting the best of me and I don't know how much longer I can continue with this cocktail of illness. I'm going to see a GP today about anti depressants but if I don't improve I have seriously won't know what to do. I feel so trapped by my anxiety and depression and the government has no sympathy - I'm going to need to get a stressful full time job like everybody else. Finally these headaches are destroying me and I think I need to push for a referral to a neurologist, I don't think they are related to my anxiety or depression. I'm starting to think I could even be bipolar. I'm a man and we are supposed to be strong but I don't feel like I ever have been. I just want to end my suffering forever - can I fly to Switzerland and ask for the euthanasia service? It's illegal here in the UK.
Sorry for rambling and seeming incoherent.