I want the voices and pain to stop

[clare222]

Hey folks. First post and im afraid. Of writing too much. Too indepth. Not enough. Im confused, feel weak, full of fear, like all the voices in my head are taking over. They are even having chats with each other and im watching. Was in the bathroom, talking out loud to someone and my son shouted in mum i didn't hear you are you talking to yourself to which i could only say yea. He didnt reply. Im living in a circle of fear afraid to go outside, answer the phone, open a letter. My psyvhologist says i cant listen that im only able to talk to myself that my monologues are exhausting because they dont make sense and that my mind is constantly going 100miles an hour. I wish i could be in a quiet place, a box in the ground. I wanna be dead all the time but i feel guilty coz of my son. I look forward to him being happy older and then il just hang til i die. This pain has to end. I cant cope being in my head. Its too draining. I just wanna be gone. Nobody would care anyhow. A lifetime of rape abusiveness and rejection by everyone. I just want all the voices to stop and quiet to happen. Im so sick of the pain and dread of every day. Sorry.

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello Clare222, welcome to this community and so glad you have posted here today. Sorry to hear you are struggling and trying to cope with so much. Our members will support you as much as they can. Please have a look at the helpline information & guides in the pinned posts which I think you will find useful.The Samaritans Helpline 116123(Freephone) is open 24 hours, you can also text or email them.Take care and keep in touch.

[Hidden]

Hello Clare

If you are feeling Suicidal you can follow MAS Nurse advice you can also contact NHS Information Line on Tel 111 UK and explain how you are feeling.

We are here to chat if you want, can we help ?

BOB