Mental Health Support
19,980 members12,173 posts

It been awhile

ok so i left school and suddenly life has responsibility that i now need to take care of i got kicked off my college course like a month in because i just couldnt go in to the room full of people.. so now its that time of year again my mums pressuring me to go to college and im feeling so trapped i just wanna go back.. back to starving myself because i dont look presentable i feel fat and i barely even take showers because it makes me wanna cry when i see myself i should be at a "healthy weight" about now but i feel overweight my shirts i used to love wearing that reinforced my skinny look i dont even wanna put them on anymore

Im just as depressed as ever and yet i feel like now people know i had a problem its gone now but its not its really not only thing thats changed is now they know about it

side topic i feel like im in a daydream like im not really living i just dont know how to get out of it my lifes so boring its like im losing track on realty

I dont fit in anywhere i cant be gay because they all simply sleep with each other and il be lucky if i find someone thats not had about 30 sexual partners before the age of 20 i generally feel like i dont belong to this generation

3 Replies
oldestnewest

So sorry to hear that you are sad and stressed out Leo. I was just thinking - almost all of the gay men I know are in long-term one-to-one relationships. I believe that there are many people out there thinking just the same way as you x

Reply

Leo

I was brought up during the swinging 50s/60s and was engaged when seventeen. I still do not know where everybody was swinging and I now feel the extremes that were broadcast then were not that bad.

You say people are having something like thirty lovers before the age of twenty, if that is the case keep away from that crowd and look for more people who have same ideas as you, they are out there believe me.

You need to take advice regards your eating disorder, talk to your GP your Surgery will be able to help you. You can also explain your insular lifestyle and He may be able to help regards giving support.

You could also try taking on interests/hobbies and join clubs associated with that hobby. In the past I did that and learned to dance Latin and Ballroom, it was a fantastic way to meet like minded people and had some fantastic nights out at various times. Not saying take up or leaning dancing, do something to interest you. You will find people out there who do not sleep around.

If you will not try on your older cloths that is unfortunate, give it a try you may be surprised when they fit

See your GP

BOB

Reply

Hello,

I am 19 years old and I’m from the UK and I identify with bisexual, I’ve had female partners but no male, I am sure that I am bisexual because I am attracted to males, I dye my hair and have a cheek piercing and anyone looking at me is probably able to tell I am not straight. I didn’t used to be able to take showers because I felt like when I washed my hair my head was a funny shape. I can’t see myself in mirrors from the side still and I can’t be in a photo unless I am taking it as I know how to get a good angle. When I see myself in a shadow from the side I cry on the inside because I think I have a huge beak. But here is what I learnt

People most likely are not paying attention to how you look or the things you perceive as flaws, the way you see yourself is a very different image to what others see and the angle and ways you present yourself are different to how others see it, even when you see your reflection this isn’t what other people see. Whilst I know I will never be able to chance my nose or the shape of my head I am aware that these things are just a shell that I occupy and these realms of occupancy that I am divided into are just the space that I am controlling. I am much more than the way I look, so I learnt to let what comes come and to let what go goes and to move forward into finding a higher level of consciousness that I can align myself with and find something more than my image to focus on.

I usually answer posts on here with research and my studies but I just wanted to tell you that you are made out of the same combination of atoms as everyone else and that makes you the same as the person across from you or the person you sit next to on the bus, You are beautiful. So see it, because once you see you need no further verification ❤

1 like
Reply

You may also like...