Please tell me I'm not alone...

[Bumbling-around]

Hello,

For the past few weeks I've been feeling quite odd, lost and down. I've been quite emotional and very anxious. I've been writing down everything I've felt/thought but I'm too scared to phone the doctors because I feel silly and like they'll laugh at me.

This is what I've written down...

* Feeling tired all the time although I'm sleeping between 10-12hrs a day

* Constant numb headachey feeling

* Really anxious about everything

* Crying all the time at odd silly things

* Don't like letting people down - force myself to do things

* Feeling alone even when I'm with friends or family

* Cancelling on friends

* Can't leave the house alone - have to talk myself into it or don't go out at all

* Feel like people are laughing/staring at me/talking about me - feeling constantly judged

* Can't see myself getting anywhere after uni

* Just want to be on my own yet can't stand being alone - drives me crazy

* Sit in my room all day even though it makes me feel miserable and anxious

Please tell me I'm not alone!!!

Thank you,

P x

[TheSilentPrince]

Your not alone. In fact, I as well as many other people here have dealt with very similar things. I know how it feels to be afraid to tell someone how you feel. You want to, but your afraid to let them in. That's depression and it's not easy. I wrote something on here about 30 mins ago and while writing everything I've been wanting to say it made me feel a little better. Did you feel a little better after sharing what you shared? If so go ahead and share it all. I promise the pain will be a little easier to deal with. Whatever has you down know that it's only for a season. I don't know you, but I would bet anything that you are a good person. If your anything like me, I would say don't go to a doctor. Instead try to find someone you feel you can truly trust. You deserve to be happy!

[Satsuma]

You are not alone @Bumbling-around ..Many of us including in myself have felt all what you have numerous times .. I second what @TheSilentPrince has said .

I do not know why your names do not want to light up .. Strange

[fallingslowly]

I'm so sorry your going through that. I feel very much the same way. There are so many things I know I should do and that I know would make me happier in the long run, but I don't have the will to do them. So I just go through the days, barely getting by, and loathing myself for not showing the least bit of initiative. Feeling like a bad mom, bad wife, bad employee, bad housekeeper. Getting angry with myself for the self-indulgent pity-party. Mostly wondering if I will ever have a real personality with interests again. I totally relate to nine of your points. I really don't think the doctors would laugh at you, I'm sure they're heard it before and are there to help. Though I do understand the reluctance to open up. I am 45 and never told anyone about my depression. When I finally did, they put me on an anti-depressant which was starting to work a little, then every time I went to refill it, there were problems, They would just ignore the pharmacy for a few days, then reject it for no reason a few days later, I would have to call, talk to several people before they would call it in. There was never any reason for it - they didn't need to do tests, and they did it with my high blood pressure medication as well, so every month or two I would just end up going cold turkey off both meds, which is horrible. Now I'm not the antidepressant, and I stopped seeing that doctor, but don't have the will to find a new one.

I think it shows courage that you've laud out the issues for yourself. You seem like you have the proper motivation and understanding as long as you find a good counselor or something to help you through it.