Never done anything like this before but I just really needed to get this off my chest and talk to someone because I'm not good at talking to people about my feelings and tend to put on a front of being happy and perfectly fine.
I'm at university but I'm home now for the summer and I can't shake the feeling of emptiness/ loneliness. I've felt like this for months now, even at uni but since being at home it's made it much worse because there are no distractions from my thoughts. The reason for me feeling so down is actually because all my friends seem to be in relationships and spending loads of time with their partners and I'm just so alone. I can't seem to get out of this dark hole. It sounds so petty when I'm typing it all down but it really bothers me. I just get this feeling that I will never find someone who I can connect with and actually be in a relationship with and it worries me massively. As a result, I'm wasting my summer feeling this down and just really want September to come so I can go back to uni.
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As for finding someone to have a relationship .. It will happen when you least expect it. Looking for it very seldom works out and in doing so you can often pick the wrong partner for yourself
I keep trying to write a reply and the flippen thing deletes itself . I suppose some poor soul will get it and wonder who's messing with them. I remember the loneliness before I had boyfriends, husband, children, friends, but I still get lonely sometimes. There's a longing for something more I think it's the human condition. I try to find something to do, shopping is good, helping someone you know could use the help. All sorts of people who need all sorts of help. In the mean time you have the chance to make yourself into the best possible person you can be in order to attract a special person. Get a good education, go to museums, get very good at photography, or languages, become well read. There are a million things to do and you can become amazing. There are a lot of second raters out there, don't let your loneliness take you in that direction. Always be aware and purposeful. Pam
Majority of students feel exactly the same as you so you are not alone. My daughter has depression which she manages well. She has finished uni for good now and though pleased to get great grade felt very flat too. She is blitzing our houses and getting us to redecorate atm.
Sounds like you are borderline depressed so please keep this in check. You are so lucky to be at Uni so enjoy your time there. You will grow and develop so much but try not to let negativity creep in.
Good luck over the summer. I would suggest volunteering with kids camps or library reading schemes. All adds to your cv and stops you dwelling on sad stuff.
It isn't petty, it is just one of those stages of life we all go through and can be extremely stressful. Disruption destabilises our lives and can have a tremendous impact, especially as we look around and see others apparently coping.
As the others have suggested, find something to fill your time. Whether it be hobbies, part time work, volunteering or entertainment, having something to do gives purpose to your day and, if you plan it right, will allow you to meet others. Look to making new friends rather than building a relationship and you will find it easier to come across that 'special' person.
Hi do you think you are suffering from depression? If so you need to go to the doctors and get help. x
Its many years since I was at University but like many others I found it so enjoyable I was not as happy for a couple of years afterwards when I started work and i know that a lot of my friends had the same experience.
I don't know if University is still as pleasant as I found it but it could go a long way to explaining your feelings in the summer vacation. I never minded those as all my friends from home ,who were at other Universities, were also home for the summer and we always got jobs labouring,often one or two of us on the same building site. The money was good ,we felt rich and earned useful sums to put towards the next year's good times back at university. Maybe a job in the holidays would help. I know jobs are probably harder to find now but there are always a lot of extra jobs around in the summer vac.
I get depressed cos of my illness and the daily pain. I take Amitriptyline and Codiene daily.
I have been fighting depression for 40 years.
I found counselling did not really work for me and put me in a bad place as I felt no-one really understood how I actually felt inside and felt worse afterwards.
So I thought well I could go down hill and cut myself off from everyone and lay in bed all day which was a waste of life or do something about it. Cos all the tablets did was made me sleep for hours and days.
This was a whole new experience in my life which I felt I had to change to make me a better person and there was no one except me who could change the way I felt. So here is what I did.
Everynight I would hear voices in my mind I could never remember what they were telling me so I got a notebook and pen which I kept by the bed and when the voice was talking to me I wrote everything in the notebook it did not matter if it made any sense or not I just needed to offload otherwise I could not sleep my mind was full of jargon.
After I had finished writing I put the notebook down and went to sleep as now very tired.
In the morning I would date the top of the page and read what I had written.
The next night I would start a new page this went on for years and I still do it now when I need to offload. It helps you to understand what the problems are and what you need to do to face your problems and get the help you need. It maybe poetry who knows until you start writing.
When I feel like this I go to a very quiet place usually my bedroom and sit down with a notebook and write down exactly what is troubling me you could write loads or maybe just a few lines you must be quiet to go deep within yourself to find out what the problems are.
You are your own person and you are strong so you can deal with it the best you can.
If It affects your work its because you are not dealing with the issues you have problems with.
Eat plenty of fruit and veg and drink lots of water if you do not feel like doing anything else.
We all have to do so much more in our lives now and this is just a new way of learning of how to deal with bad days.
Please try writing in a daily journal at night write down whatever is on your mind this book is your friend you can tell it anything you want. This helps you to off load your mind so you can be happier meditate, breathing exercises and pray for good things to come to you is a great thing that many of us do not do and forget about.
All the best wish you luck and love and lots of hugs x
It is good and very important that you look after your family ask your GP for help and support this forum is great for seeking help when you need to talk we are all here to help do not give up find something that you can enjoy.
Deep breathing exercises and mediation and a daily walk also help.
Learn a new craft - knitting - crochet - therapy colouring books - volunteer to help another person. We are all here to help one another the best way we can and there is light at the end of the tunnel you are never alone even when you feel you are.
We have to fight back otherwise the depression will take over and destroy our lives.
Read the Book - The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck from Amazon
I hope everyone success on their journey in life for it is an adventure to be enjoyed everyday we face new challenges which we have to deal with to make us a better person.
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