Can't control my angry

My fiancee told me time after time to control my angry cause she hates it and it scared her. I tried and tried to control but my angry always gets the best of me no matter what we argue about I always got super ticked off and called her names and was very verbally abusive. She called it quits a week ago and I'm in so much pain I'm feeling angry toward the world co-workers, family, and friends I don't what's going on with me. Now she doesn't talk to me at all it's killing me

10 Replies

  • hello.

    The good thing is, is you recognise your anger. I am sorry about the pain you are in. Have you been to your gp for this? Also caffeine makes me angry and alcohol can make people angry as well. Perhaps talking to someone about this will help to get to the bottom of this for you. It is early days with the breakup etc. Hang in there.

  • Thank you......

  • I wished I would of got help sooner

  • we can all think like that but it shows courage that you are getting help for this so you should be proud of that.

  • Hi I agree with the others, you need to get help for your anger issues. Ok it is probably too late for this relationship but will help future ones.

    If you kept getting angry and were verbally abusive towards her I am not surprised she called it off and won't speak to you. Put yourself in her shoes.

    Get help to get to the bottom of your anger issues. At least you are aware of this which is good.

  • its easy to confuse suppressing anger with controlling anger - they are different things. Controlling anger is about understanding the triggers and being able to respond to the triggers so the anger doesn't get out of control. Suppressing it just means that it leaks out in another way.

    Hope that you manage to find some support - if you don't get anywhere with your GP then you could try looking into some sort of meditative activity - which could include yoga or mindfulness meditation itself.

    In terms of the relationship you might want to consider some couples counselling if your partner is amenable - eg RELATE - though they will generally have some sort of a charge.

  • Thank you I will most definitely try this

  • See if you can find reputable anger management courses online. You need to be able to understand what's going on with you and why before you can work on changing the problem.

    If you can, see a good psychologist ... it would also help.

    If your ex sees that you are working hard on the issue, then she might at some point come around so keep at it and chin up k? All is not lost.

    God bless.

  • Thank you so much that just made my night a little better

  • I'm so very glad ☺ Just don't lose hope and never, ever give up.

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