I'm a VERY negative person...I need help

[gr8teen]

Hello people,

I am a 29yr old and I am very negative, angry person. I have no idea where this comes from to be honest. However, I am gay and for the past 10-12yrs I kept it a secret till recently. I got very sick and I ended up getting AIDS and I nearly died. However, my family found out about it. I have tried so hard to be who I am and try to be happy but I can't be. I hate that I am who I am. I am trying to embrace it but society is so bad and judgmental that it's very hard to even do that. I have been alone all my life and never really had a relationship or anyone to truly love. I'm just sick of being angry and depressed all the time. I want to be a humble, sweet person. I am very sweet at times but I have a short temper and I WANT TO CHANGE. I WANT TO STOP JUDGING. I WANT TO STOP BEING NEGATIVE. Please help. And yes, I am seeing a therapist as well which is helping me through this as well. Thanks for listening. Any help is appreciated!

[mysticmanda]

i would say its likely that its your depression that is leading to your anger issues that the way its manifesting itself, if you felt happier you would see the world in a very different light but at the moment you cant get past the negatives, that's me at the moment so looking at your post and reading between the lines i can see myself , and you have had the past to contend with having had aids is going to certainly effect the way you feel now about your sexuality you may never get over that but you could live with it the past if you felt stronger now and society wouldn't seem as judgemental you would be able to deal with that and hold your head up high , its good that you are seeing the therapist recognizing there is a problem takes a lot of courage.

[Hidden]

Hi there is a gay helpline and it might help you to ring them up to chat with someone.

I do agree with mysticmanda that depression can cause problems with anger so it's good you are seeing someone about that. Have you told your therapist this as you need to be working on it with them.

[sweetiepye]

Hello Gr, You have several things to be angry about, but I'm wondering if that anger isn't misplaced. I don't know that you are angry because you are gay I think it's more that you are angry at a society that doesn't accept gay as normal. You might be seeing yourself through society's eyes. I don't think anyone can change their sexual persuasion so it's pointless to try.You can still become the kind of person you want to be. Also group therapy might be an idea to find out how others have dealt with the same issues. Remember, it's not you . it's them. Pam

[gr8teen in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you Pam. That does make sense! =)

[toadie93]

That's fantastic that you have made the step to see a therapist. This is one of the best ways you can help yourself. (Once you find a therapist that you click with) I've had a few and know that when having sessions it can leave you feeling angry, sad, alone. But do share with your therapist how your feeling so you can work on them. Where it's safe and you are not going to be judged.

If you would like to talk more feel free. To drop me a message.

[Rick1on1]

Hi,

I recommend 2 things:

1. Start a journal and write about your feeling using as many words as you can. Pretty soon you should be able to see trends on what is really making you angry.

2. Volunteer at a charity. This is a humbling experience and the interaction with other volunteers will be great for your self-esteem.