Slippery slope

[Doneanddusted]

Well today isn't going well feeling desperately depressed and lonely! I wish I could shake myself out of this stupidness. I feel like I am letting everyone down. Shouting at every single little thing crying uncontrollably. I body aches my heart aches and I just can't explain to anyone how low I am I feel like I am dead inside that I just exist. I so want to get out of this hole but fear I am in here for keeps!

I feed my family help my neighbours translate for everyone go to hospital appointments with my mum (I don't mind I love her with all my heart) My brother???? Well not much I can say about that situation!

I hate feeling like this hate it so much. Just want to find me again ! But I am lost so so lost and so so lonely

[chloe40]

Hello Dunanddusted,

You're having a really rough day today aren't you? I'm so sorry. You are a good person and you need someone to give you the same helping hand to lift your spirits. Is there any way you could join a support group? and you can always share your heart with the link I sent you on Wednesday.

Chloe

[Elsibells]

I love the photo of the bear and your gorgeous dog.

You absolutely will find you again. It sounds like you're a very kind person to know, but I wonder where the time for you? Allow yourself the time you need to get better. You're not letting anyone down. Things change and evolve all the time, it would be impossible to keep anything same even if you tried. It may feel like you're stuck at the moment, but believe me it won't be like this for long. What support and medication are you receiving (of any) at the moment? Lots of love to u xx

[Doneanddusted in reply to Elsibells]

Thank you the dog Buster is actually a puppy 4 and a half months old he was chucked out of a moving car 3 weeks ago my husband saw it happen. So we took him home with us he is staying with us forever now!

I don't take medication!

I was on 20 tablets a day this time last year but knocked them all on the head.

I have a few medical issues nothing major!

I was taking anti depressant's anti anxiety and sleeping pills but because I stopped taking them myself the doctor won't re subscribe them!

So its a case of a stiff upper lip and get on with it.

Thanks for the kind words x

[Elsibells in reply to Doneanddusted]

Bless u all, including ur puppy! You have to do something. Stiff upper lip is okay for some, but absolute nonsense for me. Everyone is different and pain, thoughts and chemical/hormonal imbalances in the brain impact on us all in very different ways. It comes down to personal resilience - no one thing is ever more painful or more deserving of empathy and understanding, it's just how deeply it affects us. I strongly advise u seek support and professional help. Things can dramatically improve with the right support. Lots of love to you xx

[Quavers]

It sounds as though you put a lot of time into other people. Maybe you need to think about time for yourself too. Its ok to want things for ourselves sometimes. And it dosn't mean you are selfish. It just means you value yourself. It took me a long time to figure this out but I got there. The first thing to do is talk to the people who love you and try and explain this to them. I have found it liberating to share my feelings with my friends and family. You might find they are worried too. Good Luck and will be thinking about you.

[Doneanddusted in reply to Quavers]

I don't have time x I do try. I have tried speaking to my family but they just don't understand my husband just get's annoyed with me when I cry and that makes me worse. My mum is the same she just says I'm selfish and I should just snap out it! Then in another breathe she say's I wish I could understand.

Its so hard! I do try but sometimes I have to give and let the darkness take over.

Thank you for your kind words x