Given up

[Doneanddusted]

I am so desperately done with everything I don't know what else more I can do! I constantly cry shout and bawl and everyone! I feel like I am in a deep dark hole and there is no way out. I have tried to talk to my family but they don't understand in fact no one understands. I seem like I am just plodding through life never have a happy moment

[Satsuma]

It is up to you to take action and turn the flipside. You can do this. There is a way out of the darkness you are in .. It is great that you are reaching out here .. You feel like this as there is an imbalance somewhere so it is finding out what the problem is then work on solutions to counteract the deep dark thoughts.

There is plenty of happiness with your name on it waiting for you .. So just for today think of three things you are grateful for

[Doneanddusted in reply to Satsuma]

Thank you for the reply I try to put a brave face on smile and be chatty but I just can't do it anymore ! Thank you again!

[Sul03 in reply to Doneanddusted]

You can do it! Do not give up!

[grace111 in reply to Doneanddusted]

i dont think you should put a brave face on and smile and be chatty. especially if you dont feel this way. you wont be able to keep it up as you will just be acting. it sounds to me as if you have far to much on your plate and you cant cope.that must have been terrible for you to hear that your little boy tipped boiling water over his face. That must really have and still be affecting you. i think its good that you have given up. given up trying to cope with this all on your own. why do you have to look after your mum. do you have any other family that can share in this. why dont you get in touch with the social work dept and let them organise the care for your mum. you have been through a very difficult time and you must be very gentle on yourself you'v given birth to two premature babies and one at 26 weeks. god know how worried you must have been about both your children as they would be in incubators. all that stress and worry has added up. no wonder you dont want to smile. maybe thats part of the reason your so depressed. your so full of greif and its eating away at you and that could be why your snapping. first thing to do phone the social work dept and see if you can get some help for your mother. i dont know about the x boyfriends. also there are debt councinlling places that can help you with sorting out your bills. keep coming on here and talking to people not everyone has the same approach to depression. thats if it is depression. not everyone takes medication. my heart goes out to you. what you need is to do something that you enjoy as it seems that your looking after everyone else except yourself. do you have any hobbies.? you need something in your life that will bring you some joy. there are many people on here who have, like yourself been through the mill and are coming out the other side now, it wont be achieved by smiling and being chatty. better to be honest, if people dont understand then there are plenty of us here who do. i wish i was beside you as you need a big hug. even phoning the samaritans helps as its good to be able to talk about how we feel without getting advice all the time.just getting it out can break the hold it has on us. even by talking we can work out what to do. all my love. keep your chin up. things change. and they can get better for you. love grace xoxo

[Doneanddusted in reply to grace111]

oh my god you really heard me thank you so much xxxxxx Thank you

[Doneanddusted]

I gave up a long time ago! Just taken me this long to reach out for help! Thank you x

[spykey]

Hi Doneandusted

You've had done good advice from Satsuma!

Are you seeing any medical professionals or taking any medication?

I know you said gave up a long time ago, but there is still a spark inside you! Well done for posting, I know you said it's taken a long time to do this, but you have posted & we are a friendly, supportive & non-judgemental group that would Really would like to help you!

Do you have any hours in the day when you feel calmer?

Ok you said no one understands try me what don't your family or friends understand? What have you got to lose by telling me? I want to try to help & support you?

🤗 spykey

[Doneanddusted in reply to spykey]

Hi I used to take anti depressants and anti anxiety pills I was on them for 4 years after my son was born ! I have two boys both were premature babies my 1st 32 weeks but it was my second son which pushed me over he was born at 26 weeks we had a lot of problems and just before his 1st birthday whilst I was at work he tipped boiling water over his face . There so many more things like nasty exes money worries kids always off school with illness looking after my mum all our pets just trying to get through the day without having a melt down. I worry because I am pushing everyone away I feel that everyone would be better off without me!

I cry at everything snap at anything feel basically useless and completely lost!

[Hidden]

Hi Doneanddusted we ask all new members to make sure they familiarise themselves with the community terms and conditions please. You will find these on the right under pinned rules. Thank you.

Unfortunately it is common for even close family not to understand depression and if you have tried to explain and given them written information (there is lots on the internet), then it's probably best not to talk to them too much about it. It only ends up making you and them unhappy.

What you need to do is tackle this head on by going to see your doctor and telling them how you are feeling. It does sound very much like depression and you need medical help and advice with it. Meds and/or counselling should be able to help you.

We get it here and understand totally so talk to us and we will help and support you all we can. x

[Hidden]

Ah we crossed! Did the meds help? Did you do any counselling? This might help.

It sounds like you are under a lot of stress so no wonder you are feeling very wound up and unhappy but you have got to learn to deal with those feelings in a less negative way. Do you get out at all with your friends? Do you have a hobby? Maybe you just need more time away from the family to destress a bit? Can you take up a physical sport ie tennis for example. You can bash away lots of frustrations on a tennis court. x

[Doneanddusted in reply to Hidden]

I have no friends

[Hidden in reply to Doneanddusted]

Well I know it must be difficult to find any time to yourself with so many children, but couldn't the older ones or a relative look after the kids once a week or so to allow you to get a break and maybe take up a hobby? You desperately need a bit of time to be you and not just a mother. x

[chloe40]

Hi there Doneanddusted

Welcome to our friendly Forum, you'll find lots of friendly information and here on Action on Depression, so look upon is as people who listen and understand you.

Take care

Chloe

[nedd]

Just throwing you a handful of stardust to light a dark corner.

Here catch💫💫💫

I love the tag. Doneanddusted. So somewhere there is a spark to have come up with that. Keep gently fanning it and every so often it will spring into life.

Honest

[Doneanddusted]

lovely words thank you x x x

[Punky61]

I feel the same way. I am

Losing everything and now the Government is putting a Cap on opiod pain meds. I now have the Biggest Fear / Worry of My Life.

What their cap is will NEVER EVER Help me. I am scared & want to run. But with no money I can run no where. Must save all my money as I am now not sure if I will have to move. I hate being not stable in my life

So yes o know exactly how you feel I cry everyday. I don't even want to leave me my house. I don't even cool. I eat garbage frozen foods. I am severely depressed. I even think about suicide which I don't think I ever could do that. Thank God

I wish the best for you and hope you get the proper help you deserve.

From Canada.

Not sure where you are

Have a great day

[Doneanddusted in reply to Punky61]

Bless you I'm in Spain you sound like me its such a scare to make sure you provide for your family. There is no work here luckily I have a job but because of my nerves I am always worried that they will let me go! I wish I could give you a hug its not much but every little helps x Sending kindness from across the miles.

Suicide is always on my mind but I couldn't bear to leave my boys Husband and mum we all live together in a small village some times I just walk walk for miles so they can't see or hear me.

I had no idea live would be so hard and turn out the way it has. I feel broken x

[nedd in reply to Doneanddusted]

I often think if we knew what life had in store for some of us we would never push so hard to get born.

But take heart things do sometimes change.