Does Anyone else find......

[Tigger1988]

When you need help the most nobody is there to help you.

When someone is down I will talk to them and guide them as best I can but when I need help nobody is there.

[chloe40]

Hello there Tigger1988

We are always here to support you, so please don't feel alone.

Chloe

[Tigger1988 in reply to chloe40]

Im fed up with going through horrible times and nobody in my immediate life is there for me. When they feel rubbish im there for them. Sometimes i feel like im better off alone.

[chloe40 in reply to Tigger1988]

It's very sad but unfortunately there are givers and there are takers in this life and you are a giver. I completely understand how upsetting this is for you when you've always been there for them but I'm sure you would rather be you! Keep strong, it will get better.

Chloe

[Photogeek]

Hi Tigger yes that does happen but that is the reality of life, We may help others but we cannot expect others to be as kind or thoughtful as we are, in fact I think we should have no expectations from others, so I don't expect others to be there for me, great if they are but do t depend on it.

We have the Forum and the fact that it exists shows that people often find that nobody is there for them. But we have to help ourselves too and be our own best friend.

Hannah

[Mia51]

Hi Tigger,I understand where you are coming from.Just now Im going through a bad depression yet I feel those closest to me leave me to get on with it.My husband criticised me yesterday yet when he was physically ill in the summer he got all the attention and caring going.I do accept Ive to get on with it but mental illness is still so misunderstood

[WhiteAlice]

Tigger, do you feel drawn to what I call "wounded puppies?" I am. I like helping others, especially those closest to me. The ability to care & give comes from what is stored within you. If it isn't replenished you have nothing more to give, even to yourself. Chloe is right about givers & takers. Healthy relationships of all kinds have a balance of giving & taking. I had a relationship once with the nicest man, but he was a real homebody & naive about the world. I pulled him out of shell, showed him what was out there. I supported him when he was down. I was there for him. When my mother died, I needed to rely on him. He couldn't give me the support I needed. In fact he passed out & I had to take care of him! You need to surround yourself with people who can give back. We can.

[PeekabooFace]

Totally agree with all that is said here. I spent years 'giving' to my ex partner; strength, support, confidence, and like White Alice my ex was naiive and had low esteem. I brought him out of his shell too and encouraged him....and when I hit rock bottom and just needed a hand, he couldn't cope and left me stranded. He became (what he thought) a stronger person through me but never gave back. We can call them takers but I call them leeches. But I also have close friends that also shy away at my darkest times. What I have realised is that there is no one you can truly rely on but yourself, yes this forum is here for you and we can all help each other, but ultimately our only true friend has to be ourselves.

I've stopped reaching out for the wrong people and managed to filter out the ones that make it harder for me. I feel lonely a lot but I also don't get let down by others this way.

When people we love and care for don't seem to be there for us when we need it, it can be devastating and it can feel desperately lonely. but the fact that you can give to others while you too are struggling shows that you can be strong enough to climb out of that dark place by yourself. Just don't waste your energy on others that don't need it. Save it for yourself. Because leeches really don't care what they take from you if you are willing to give unconditionally, they will take.

and I agree that we can't expect anything from others. That leads to let downs some times and makes things worse. Just concentrate on you and be the best friend you can be to yourself. X

[Reposting1]

Dear tigger1988

It's a fact of life I suppose , I'm a great believer in the after life and coming back here again and again perhaps to learn , grow and refine our souls and looking back ( I'm 71 now ) they seem as though they were interludes when all around me stopped , as though I had to stop and look around at my situation and take stock and then bite the bullet put my best foot forward and struggle on till at last I found myself back on the road again . This May sound easier said than done but we all come out at the other end stronger and wiser , and I can assure you that I have been through many many piles of poop . If you are at your wits end go and speak to your doctor they are always willing to listen whatever stress something is causing you

My thoughts are with you