Depressed over how I look

[KatieRichie94]

I really have been struggling the past few days with accepting my looks. I will obsessively take pictures from multiple angles and I do not like how I look. This stems from middle school when a few of the boys said I look like a man. I have broad shoulders but a pretty girly face. Ill post a picture so you can see what im talking about.

[Hidden]

You look pretty enough to me Katie! I noticed you put virtually the same post up about a month ago. You received 4 replies but you didn't acknowledge any of them. Likewise on most of your posts on here. We spend a lot of thought and time replying but it is very discouraging not to even know if you have read them or taken on board anything we have said. Have you read them? Have you listened to anything we have said? Otherwise you are going to just keep on posting about the same old things and we will keep on saying the same things back to you and we will get nowhere.

We all suffer from depression here and other mental health disorders, so it has to be give and take here or it just doesn't work.

Not having a go at you love, but how about coming in here sometimes and answering other posts, or if you can't do that, then at least your own. If nothing else it would take your mind off your anxiety, and give you less time to obsessively worry about yourself.

I also noticed that you don't lock your posts. If you want to keep them in the community only and stop them appearing (and the replies) in full anywhere on the net you need to click on 'community only' when you post. x

[KatieRichie94 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Yes I have posted the same and I am really bad at replying but there is a lot of good advice on here!

[jennyjolly in reply to KatieRichie94]

You've got body dysmorphic disorder Katie

Saw a tv prog.on it

All the girls/women were just like you

Very pretty

And all thought themselves ugly

Google it if you like

May identify with it

[Goldfish_]

Repetitively posting the same or similar posts, will reinforce your anxiety on this issue as will repetively talking about it, thinking about it and so on. Keeping your bad feelings alive.

Everyone here feels you look very pretty and your brain is playing tricks with you for thinking otherwise, however celebrities and the media are having this effect on many young people.

Just seen your profile and you have 67 people following you so must be one of the most popular on this site if not the most popular . Isn't that confirmation that you are attractive and interesting?

But 277 posts about yourself in a little over a year and 100s of replies all about yourself, but never to or about anyone else. Isn't this confirmation that you are spending too much time thinking about yourself and probably not enough on other things and people?

How about trying to see if you can manage a several days without saying anything negative about yourself or taking pictures of yourself but instead writing down 3 positive things. You can do it on this site if you want to. I look forward to reading your next post and hope you can write something positive and perhaps something that isn't about your looks or how bad you feel. It will help you feel better if you do and keep on with it.

Please don't take offence at this. I would really like to help.

Presumably you have approached health professionals about this problem?

[KatieRichie94 in reply to Goldfish_]

Thank you for your input. I think all thst you said sounds like a great idea. I will have to talk to my therapist about this more, as I have not addressed it as a huge deal.

[Loneyguy49]

YOUR GORGEOUS

[Lizbett]

Hi Katie. I totally agree with what's been said thus far. There's NOTHING wrong with the way you look. Nothing.

Now, what it would be good for you to do is re-read coughalot's and Goldfishe's respective responses.

STOP taking selfies and get on with life. Cultivate an attititude of acceptance particularly over matters that can not be chaged. Life will become easier if you do.

[Celtic27]

Hi katie its a shame that young women have such body dismorphic problems the the media and magazines are the main cause of it the best thing is young females boycott such magazines female consumers are a powerful consumer group which when it hits there pockets will listen !

[KatieRichie94 in reply to Celtic27]

Yes. The magazines show a lot of unrealistic things. Its like you have to be tan, skinny and huge boobs to be considered good looking today.

[bullyman99]

Geez Louise Katie, you are gorgeous! Take it from us here....

[KatieRichie94 in reply to bullyman99]

I just look at myself a lot differently than what people say.

[bullyman99 in reply to KatieRichie94]

Well then I would ask, what exactly do YOU see?!

[Nesie237]

KatieRichie94, Boys, you must realize, can be fools. Well, we all can. And they will do and say all kinds of stupid things to get a reaction. Don't give them the satisfaction of allowing them to body shame you.

You are a lovely young woman. I think you might have a slightly distorted body image. Don't believe the haters and never young boys. They were no doubt either trying to embarrass you or get your attention. Take it back!

When I was younger I was skinny but developed boobs at age 10. Those little asshat boys used to pop my bra strap to embarrass me, and they called me "Crazy legs" because I was taller than them, the little pukes, and I had long skinny legs.

Just take care of yourself, my dear. You are more than fine. Nesie 237

[KatieRichie94 in reply to Nesie237]

Boys will say dumb things when they cant get a girl they want. Im not sure why it would be affecting me now.

[Nesie237 in reply to KatieRichie94]

I don't know either. Putting it behind you and living for now sounds like an excellent plan. Good luck, Nesie 237

[LoriMS61]

Hi Katie,

You've received a lot of positive messages here, so I'm not going to repeat them. You either a) enjoy the attention, and therefore I won't contribute, or b) don't believe it, so won't appreciate it.

I can't remember if you've sought help, but two thoughts spring to mind whenever I read your posts.

1. You are a narcissist. "Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes." en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nar...

2. Which I think is more likely, you have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. "Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive preoccupation that some aspect of one's own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.[1] In BDD's delusional variant, the flaw is imagined.[2] If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.[2] Either way, one's thoughts about it are pervasive and intrusive, occupying up to several hours a day." en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bod...

Lori

[Maim]

You look like a beautiful young girl don't believe any one who says different good health and best wishes for your future wellness x

[jennyjolly]

Ps Girls at school just jealous

Be grateful you have a pretty face and strong body

Many haven't either.

[Hidden]

I will tell you something here now Katie. My eldest sister is body dysmorphic about her nose. It's not especially big but it has a bump in the middle. She has made it the focus of her anxiety and has spent her whole life obsessing about it. She also hates her boobs, or rather lack of them. Because of these real but hugely magnified issues in her own mind she has used them as the excuse not to have a normal life, to make friends, to have bf's etc. This has also led her to agrophobia many years ago, and convinced that people are judging and laughing at her. Nothing you can say to her makes any difference. She is totally self obsessed, and very selfish. Not attractive traits....

I had very severe acne as a teenager and have been left with scars and pits in my skin. Unlike my sister however, I did something about it and had 2 dermabrasions many years ago on the NHS. My skin is still bad, and I would be lying if I said it hasn't damaged my life quite a lot, but I still went out in the world, worked, had bf's etc. and still have a good social life. Yes I still get hurt over 'ugly woman' comments I still get from men sometimes, but you know what? They do not stop me living my life or over worrying about it.

When I occasionally talk to her about my skin, she says nothing. Then she starts spouting about her bad skin! 'nuff said.

Don't turn into my sister please. Bev x

[mysmugcat]

You're a lovely looking girl but I know how it feels to not believe it. I struggled anorexia. PM me if you ever would like to. Please take up the opportunities you have in your life, hard as it is.