Partner of 5 years cheats on me and leaves with my kids.

[Stevie_Dukes]

I been split up from my 5 year relationship for about 4 months now. The mother of my kids decided to cheat on me because I chatted with a girl on skype during her 2nd pregnancy (pregnant of our daughter). I know it was wrong of me to chat with someone while being in a relationship. Anyway, she held onto that pain from the experience for many months later which eventually drove her to cheating on me. For the record, I'm not racist, pointing that out for these upcoming sentences. My kid's mother is Cuban but she is darker skinned (tanned, or light dark), I would call her "mi negrita" to mess with her because she would be like "I'll mulata not black" and I would point at a darker skinned guy and jokingly tell her, look, that's your type right there and she would respond back "ew, no it's not". Anyway, come to find out, she cheated on me with a black guy who happened to be one of her business customers at her old job. Within these 4 months of being split up, it's been issues with court and child support forms and now I can't see my kids until I begin supervised visitation for 12 weeks to see my kids in a room at family court.

I'm trying to see the positive in everything that is happening but, I been depressed and battling the thoughts of suicide because I know suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. I got baker acted due to what she put on a police report this past Father's Day. Before that, she went to my job to try to take away my truck since both our names is on the contract, she couldn't take it and got upset.

I come to find out she got her own apartment through section 8 after she lost our old apartment 2 weeks after I left to give her space. She also lost her job when she lost the apartment. Now, the only way we can talk since she has a restraining order on me is by ourfamilywizard and it's annoying when she tends to ignore messages or respond back late at night saying "I'm super busy with my boyfriend, talk another time". Late night... My kids should be asleep. So it's like she is telling me, "I'm busy having sex, talk later".

I'm just really destroyed inside because my family atmosphere got destroyed and I feel what I built in 5 years got destroyed as well. Now I'm trying to rebuild myself but I don't know how to proceed forward.

[LoriMS61]

Hi Stevie, welcome to the group. I don't know if I can provide any meaningful help, but I just wanted you to know that I am sorry that you are in the position you are in.

I know that suicide seems like the simplest option, but you have said yourself it is a permenant solution to a temporary problem. If you have concerns about the welfare of your children could you seek advice from social services?

I wish I could offer you more help.

Lori

[Stevie_Dukes in reply to LoriMS61]

I had Department of Chikdren's and family get involved but, they made it sound like if I was the problem and like if I was a potential danger to her and my kids. Reason why they want me to undergo 12 weeks of supervised visitation.

[LoriMS61 in reply to Stevie_Dukes]

Well in that case hope that they see that you aren't a danger when you are supervised. I can't imagine what it would be like being away from your children for that long.

Maybe you could make them a video every day letting them know what you are up to and how much you love them? Depending on their age you could read stories to them. That way they will know how much you love them, and even if you can't be with them every day, they know that that isn't because you don't want to be.

Lori

[Stevie_Dukes in reply to LoriMS61]

She knows in not a danger to my kids. She even told the judge I was an amazing father

[LoriMS61 in reply to Stevie_Dukes]

I hadn't said that I thought you were a danger. I hope it didn't come across that way. I only thought to offer suggestions based on your current reality.

Lori

[Stevie_Dukes in reply to LoriMS61]

I know you didn't mean that lol.