Family

[StressBuster]

Should the family unit (a group) be regarded as the cornerstone of a healthy and balanced society? Does a permanent marriage with the same minds (especially ones that are stubborn—prejudiced—repetitive—superficial—pigheaded—and do not change) limit our capacity to become or develop into something fabulous in the future? Is it possible to build a new family with friends that are willing to consider new ideas and who are unprejudiced, loving and affectionate? What are the pros and cons of your parents and siblings? Do the pros outweigh the cons? Just food for thought—would love to hear your comments.

[hollyli47]

I think the family unit is healthy when you have young children, but later on, if you are not soul mates with your husband or wife, everyone should do their own thing.

Likeminded friends are a blessing, balance is the key to a fulfilling life. If it means bowing to family pressure and not living your own true life, something is wrong.

[LoriMS61]

You pose some very thought provoking questions here. I can only respond based on my own experiences and don't enjoy making generalisations.

I grew up in a nuclear family, with loving parents and a sibling I would die for. I met my husband at a young age and we have been together for 12 years this year. My sibling moved to the other side of the world, taking a piece of my heart with him. My In-laws passed away and took that part of our family with them.

My friends are now a part of my family because I have holes that need filling and I have love that I need to share.

I was a functioning member of society and I am having to re-learn how to do this again. I have had to learn how to define myself both based on the relationships I had and now have.

We have a dog and a home, and it feels very much like a family. We want children, we both have so much love to give.

I think that we should each be accountable for ourselves and how we act in society. It is essentially a construct. I cant answer your question about being in a relationship with someone with a closed mind. My relationship with my husband and family is constantly evolving. We've been in the trenches of devastation together and pulled one another out.

I didn't commit suicide in February simply because of love. I couldn't bare to cause my wonderful husband pain, I couldn't bare my parents feeling my loss. I couldn't hurt my friends. That pain eclipsed my own, and so I knew that whilst I would be able to escape my mind and body, I couldn't do that to them.

I am suffering from depression and anxiety, and I can still understand how lucky I am.

Lori

[Toci in reply to LoriMS61]

Wonderful answer. xx

[StressBuster in reply to LoriMS61]

Lori, thank you for your carefully considered answer.

[Hidden]

When people were more concerned with survival large families were necessary. People had more children to equal more help. Grandpsrents Aunts and Uncles lived with the family. Ideally everyone contributed in some fashion and all were taken care of. As we progressed? , became more industrialized, life became more about the individual and less about the family. My opinion is that we became a colder harder society, less caring. People became anxious, older people go to nursing homes, children are raised by paid employees, you get the idea. As far as family members being prejudiced I think some are, most aren't .I think families are important for this reason, they give you a sense of who you are , a feeling of belonging.

It's interesting to me that when friends or gay couples set up house keeping they seem to structure their living arrangement on a regular family plan which says to me that humans have an innate need for family. Of course there are always exceptions.Also be aware that every group has its prejudices.