Early hours

[Satsuma]

Having a dip in mood. Happens a lot in these early hours ;( Not good ... Too tired to care about anything ... Am working hard to push the nasty thoughts away ... Feeling the negativity swarm over me ... I have to be strong again

[Satsuma]

Goldfish_ What is it with the small hours ? Such a ghastly time

[Luckyring199]

Thinking of you Sat and praying the demons stay away from you.

It's all to do with the daily change in our body chemicals and that's what has broken down in us.

Shame there's no mental health AA, RAC or Green Flag rescue service! lol

Hope your help isn't too far away.

(((Hugs)))

[Matrix in reply to Luckyring199]

Love that how fab to be able to ring up the AA for when we feel low in the night x

[Satsuma in reply to Luckyring199]

Cheers there Luckyring199 Thankyou .. I dislike when they rear their ugly heads these demons aagghhh .. They come with such aggression and yes maybe we should start a rescue service hey

[Celtic27]

Hi satsuma from what you. Say i presume you suffer from insomnia as well as depression ! Have you seen your doctor about getting. Some help with this ? I hope you get better soon david !

[Satsuma in reply to Celtic27]

Celtic27 well David yes I do and have done for years but I thought it was part of bi polar, depression and anxiety .. I will mention it to him when I next go which will be soon .. Thankyou

[Celtic27 in reply to Satsuma]

Hi satsuma i hope you can get the help you need and recover and get well soon ! Depression is horrible i know as ive had it for many years ! Take care david

[Satsuma in reply to Celtic27]

Me too David since I was 15 .. Many years ago haha

[spykey Ambassador]

Hi Satsuma

Sorry to hear you are struggling in the early hours, I know how it feels when you are feeling so vulnerable and the rest of the people are sleeping and just don't understand! The night can feel so long and dark! Can't your GP give you anything to help? Would be good to have a rescue service Great idea! How can we put it into action & reality I wonder?!? I'll have a chat with my Cpn & see if she has any ideas, surely something could be put in place, there are enough people out there that would use it! I spend time online looking for various things when I'm struggling, it's been Really difficult, but have tried some free e-learning courses to distract my mind when those demons start shouting away at me So loudly, some of them take an hour or so! But they are not for everyone, I just need something to totally distract my thoughts with something, or I start counting pills and other stuff if you know what I mean!

You do have strength, and an inner strength Satsuma and you are never gonna be alone we are all here for you & each other! I am happy to chat with you any time if you want to? But don't forget your inner strength, life & each day can be a roller coaster with so many different emotions we can go through each day!

You have helped others in this forum in many of your posts & replies, even when you have felt really down! You've found some beautiful words from songs that have helped me, yes You have helped me😇! And I feel blessed by you & others in the forum, knowing that others know, and understand without judging when I am struggling! 😀 Everyone has been so accepting & supportive.

Thank you for being You

Take lots of care

spykey

[Satsuma in reply to spykey]

spykey Thankyou. You have really touched me with your kind words. I was so, so strong the other day and yet today I am a quivering wreck finding it hard to function. Tears tripping me up and everything. I am trying hard to keep afloat.

I am here anytime for you and anyone who fancies a chat .. I may not reply straight away but I will asap.

I would love to start a rescue group .. We need to have a tete la tete about it.

This illness is rough as. Me dislike it. I have not worked for sixteen nearly seventeen years and you know I have lost so much of who I am. I try very hard each day to keep my head together.

I think I am constantly tired. This has been my life since I can remember. Even at school I would wake up in the early hours and watch the clock go round. By the time I went to get up I was exhausted. It has not changed much.

[spykey Ambassador in reply to Satsuma]

Hi Satsuma

I know how it feels not to work & spent a lot of time of sick when I was there. I had a mental breakdown in 1997 x4 overdoses, too long a story to explain! I then retrained went to college, back to work Jan 2000, changed jobs Oct 2001, then I was medically retired in 2008, I was under 40 so was hard, but I worked for the a civil service dept & a lot of my stress was work related due to management pressure about 'targets, stats, targets!!!' All the time, non-stop!! I went through hell while I was there! Now I'm a pensioner not even 50 yet!! And being on benefits is Not easy for anyone! I'm trying to retrain again via distance learning, not easy at all, but just cos I am in a wheelchair (due to a physical condition) & have some mh issues doesn't mean when I feel stronger I can't kick back life in the teeth & make them understand we all still have a value in this world! It may take me 5 even 10 years to get there but who cares, with the help of my Liason Psychiatrist who is great & Very supportive and deals with my mental & physical health, & a Cpn who listens and cares (I know I'm very blessed to have them both!) I will try to keep fighting, I may be slow with my studies but I am trying to keep going & now I've found All of you, you have helped me more than you know already! It's a Really difficult month June as My brother died 20+ years ago on the 5th of June & the funeral was 10 days later on my mother's birthday, 15th June I Really struggle to get through, It still feels like it happened recently! But I am glad I found the forum, you have all helped me cope without even knowing about it! I've still had & got some tears but knowing people who don't even know me have helped me in more ways than you know! So thank you for just being there & being welcoming, accepting me into the forum. I've still got a way to go, but knowing you are there helps!

So Bless You & Thank You

spykey

[Satsuma in reply to spykey]

Bless u .. We r in the same boat. But do not ask me to row on my own as the boat will sink haha

[Satsuma in reply to spykey]

Anniversaries are awful. The big one for me is December .. My two daughters birthdays and then Christmas .. Miss them daily and am in a state of constant grieving for them .. Not nice .. Adds somewhat to my already bipolar .. Then there is my physical pain .. Oh my word .. System overload

[Satsuma in reply to spykey]

spykey i had a nervous breakdown not long ago. I have been most suicidal recently .. Been a hellish travel. I am determined to fight this though. I am on this planet for a reason. Like us all. I am glad to be of help to people. I so want to do the depression assistance you know. Only we can do it efficiently as we wear the T-shirt daily. You have given me inspiration over this you know. Thankyou spykey .. Your journey has been eventful too somewhat. High five there I can resonate with you

[BettyA]

Satsuma, just make sure the Dr doesn't prescribe Ambien for sleep... most of them have stopped Rx-ing it...but not all... its a horrid drug... Unless it interferes with your meds (check with your pharmacist who usually knows better than your dr) if it would be ok to take an OTC sleep aid, such as Unisom...or Benedryl, etc... Good luck. Do whatever you feel YOU need to do! Take care.

[Satsuma in reply to BettyA]

BettyA Thanks for that headz up. I have often tried otcs to help with sleep, of the herbal kind. So draining as I wake up with side effects of them and have to wait for them to wear off. It just does not give us free space this illness does it ? Bah !

[BettyA in reply to Satsuma]

Yup! Its a real Bah Humbug!! Anyway, what I use is 1/2 a Unisom together with either a Tylenol or an advil... Sometimes I also take 3 or 6 mgs of Melatonin a half hour before I take the Unisom. A much younger friend of mine uses a whole Unisom... you could just experiment. They are NOT addicting...which is good. The herbal stuff helps, but for me, it just doesn't do the trick... I take many herbs otherwise for various 'maladies' Good luck to you!

[Satsuma in reply to BettyA]

BettyA Thank you .. What are maladies by the way ? I like Valerian teabags. They bring on the urge to sleep but then once one wakes for a widdle, one finds it difficult to get back off to the land of nod. Sometimes one can feel heavy headed after using. Side effects and drawbacks to everything.