I am dancing as fast as I can

[Abbi1960]

Why is it that each day I feel I am fighting to stay alive? I am so tired of life, it hasn't been kind to me, although compared to some it must seem I have it pretty good. I feel like I am drowning in a rough sea and I can see the calm sea just ahead and I soooo want to go there

[ladeda]

Hi Abbi, I am so sorry you have had such a long and hard struggle when you sound you are trying so hard to have things different. 

There is a saying that if you stop chasing something it will catch up with you instead. Sometimes it's so much easier to ruminate over not wanting this life, because we don't always know what it is we do want? and then end up blinkered to the things around us that actually do bring a lot of happiness.

It can never help comparing ourselves to others, the grass always looks greener on the other side and it never is, or we may see such suffering and heartache and think we don't have the right to feel the way we do when our hardship isn't that bad. But suffering is suffering and has no bearing on the outside world, that has to be dismissed and the focus on love and kindness needs to be directed inwards needs to happen.

It's not a question of becoming self centered, its a question of survival, learning to understand how we can accept ourselves by constantly adjusting to what life throws our way. Depression is a terrible thing and we sometimes don't believe we can do anything about it, but we have to keep picking away looking for things that help, if we don't keep making small changes in our lives how can we hope to change? 

Don't underestimate your own inner strength, even though it's good to ask in every direction for the help that's available, nothing will help until you can implement small changes in lots of different ways, just the same as looking at a pill for a headache won't give much relief from the pain.

Today the sun is shining outside and it looks like its going to be a beautiful day, I hope you can get out there, feel that warmth and imbibe of the sounds of nature to give you a bit of positive energy to think how you would really like to spend your day, even if free choice will only give you a fraction of that time to indulge. 

Lots of hugs, Moni x

[Olderal]

If you know that compared to some your life seems pretty good then things can't be too bad. If you feel you can see the calm sea just ahead then its natural to want to get there , but not many with true depression feel they can see a calm sea ahead. All they can see is a very big whirlpool waiting to suck them down, or even worse storms..

if you really feel you are fighting to stay alive you must see your GP as soon as possible and explain your feelings. Life is always full of ups and downs and its easy to feel tired of life when they have been more ups than downs. 

Just remember its life that enables you to feel happiness and lots of other good emotions . Without life you might as well be a rock,or a grain of sand. You will have good times and happiness again,I hope soon. The harder you work at it the sooner they will come. One good way to work at it is to try and make others happier. It does n't take much; a compliment, a small present, a smile, looking up an old friend, paying the road toll of the car behind you (I've always liked that one but its hard to do now and more expensive).

Olderal

[nedd]

Throwing you a pinch of star dust to light a dark corner. Here catch.

💫

I love your strap line.

It doesn't matter how slow you dance. Just keep listening to the music.