Lack of motivation,prefer sleeping

Lately I have found my self wanting to sleep than do anything at all. I am married with twin girls and a wonderful husband. I have everything I could ask for. Once kids get on bus I can't wait to go back to sleep. I feel awful. I get nothing done. I hav no motivation or energy. That being said I do get to gym in evening when I have to take girls to dance. During day I am home alone. I hate it and ultimately find myself back in bed. I get mad at myself for it and need to find a solution.

20 Replies

  • Hi there, sounds like you should look into getting a hobby. When you do oversleep, don't get mad at yourself for it because ultimately it will leave you feeling worse. I find that when I'm bored/stressed out colouring books really relax me. You can get some nice ones on Amazon that have more grown up themes. Maybe make a list of great books you've never read and challenge yourself to read them in a certain time frame. If you're finding that you are feeling lethargic all the time then a visit to the doctor could also be helpful, it may be that there is some medical explanation for your problem. Hope I've been helpful :)


  • Hi, I agree 100% with aoconr.

    You have seem to have a lot of free time and energy on tap to make use of. try a mix hobby of something mentally relaxing and something physically challenging.

    At this point you need to challenge yourself to try not to sleep all the time.

    I was in your situation when I had no job for more than a year and gardening and occasional wood work were my 2 hobbies. After doing them and I still do I wouldn't just do what the book says but challenge yourself to push and learn new aspects of your hobby. For example, in gardening you'd think its about putting a seed in and letting it grow and watering it, right? but it's so much more, worm bin, compost bin, learning their various stages, soil composition and minerals, the role bacteria, insects, fungi play in soil and it all captivated me. that's how hobbies help, you have push yourself to think outside the box and who know's you might develop a new talent and people want to learn from you ;) maybe even do a youtube channel on sharing your new interest with others but don't pay any attention to negative comments, just block them ;)

    don't forget there is no right or wrong way to learn something new. if you make a mistake, don't let it get to you or put you off just soldier on and keep tackling it.

  • Good ideas !

  • Hi

    It is sad that you feel so tired at a time of life when you have a family around you, but I wonder whether during the day you are lonely and missing a sense of purpose? It can be very socially isolating having children and being a housewife, I found it was at that stage of life that my depression surfaced most deeply. I became a full time student and went on to achieve something in my own right, perhaps you might do something that enables you to express yourself and at the same time takes you forward in terms of your own future - your children will not be dependant upon you forever and it may be beneficial for you to have a sense of achievement beyond that of being a mother and housewife.

    You might also ask your GP to refer you for counselling in order that you can talk through the meaning of your tiredness as it does sound as though you are depressed.


  • Hello.

    Woud it be possible to go to the gym when you take the girls to the school bus in the morning? It may be helpful in getting you motivated and then you can sleep if you wish in the afternoon until you need to collect them. Have you sought help for your mood and depression? Don't be alone as there are a lot of people on this site who would welcome someone to talk to.

    Take care and don't be a stranger.


  • I do this, and I agree don't get mad at yourself, it's not your fault.

    One thing I try to do. Is I give myself ONE thing that I have to do. It can be the stupidest thing. Take a shower. Wash the dishes. Put a load in the washing machine. And if I do that ONE thing, even if I sleep until my son comes home before and after it. I give myself brownie points for doing that one thing (and trust me that there are MANY times, when I DON'T do it).

    But sometimes, when I feel I'm functioning more. After the completion of task one. I'll give myself another, then another. I don't normally get beyond three, but the completion of those 3 tasks is a successful day to me!!!

    It isn't a cure. It's a coping mechanism. One that should be used alongside other help. But for me, it's enormously important.

    Good luck x

  • I agree , when I was in a Hugh flare , I did the same . Just accomplishing one thing at first helped a lot mentally . Then started pushing thru to do

    more. It is SO HARD at first but thinking about what will help you feel better about yourself will give you energy. One day, a load of laundry , next day something else. First a complete check-up should rule out any health problem . 😘

  • I feel the same. I put so much into my business that it ruined my marriage, but I lost the business when we got divorced. It then it took me months to start living for myself again. Just when I had a new life my daughter came home to live with me, having had a 'breakdown' living with her Dad. I gave up on my social life a lot to help her. Then I was just getting my life back when my parents got ill, and I moved to live with them. I have now got them sorted with carers. My daughter has just got a new full time job, not one I would like for her, but it brings her some cash.

    So here I am again, home alone in their annexe, and with nothing to do. The housework does not interest me so I do the bare minimum. It is not my house so I cannot get enjoyment out of making it nice. My parents refuse to let me bring my own things here so I am missing out on a lot of things I used to enjoy having. This makes me feel angry, which I cannot express because they are old and ill and I am supposed to be understanding about that. I cannot even invite old friends to stay because my parents (and siblings) discourage visitors on the basis that there is not enough parking, and it might upset the oldies.

    I have tried to get a job but my time out of work goes against me, and I have no current references. We live in a place where there is a lot of menial work, suitable for students, and I am seen as over qualified or too old.

    In order to do what I want I would have to leave here, which is not ideal because of the effect on my daughter who would have to give up her job, so sleep seems like the best option to get through the day. I have no motivation to start something new and am out of practice at planning my own life now anyway.

  • We are caught between our children and parents. Don't give up! If you can't invite friends over , meet for coffe or dinner or movie . Maybe a part time job would get you out enough to start regaining your confidence . 😘

  • Hello

    You are saying your life is basically in the slow lane and you are suffering fatigue.

    You do now say that you are depressed. Generally I would suggest that you talk to your GP and make sure it is nothing organic. Sometimes when people are alone from day to day they need an interest to tackle their boredom . Many people these days either go back to work, do voluntary work or take on a hobby.

    I am retired and feel I never stop what with Voluntary Work and attending various meetings, some time a dog can help as when you take them for their walks that can be a time user

    Sometimes if you are tired you could be short of iron in your blood or some other vitamin , hence a GP appointment.Heavy periods can be a problem. I would imagine that it is the days been long this must make you feel bored.

    Although do you have any other reason for being bored, or tired ??


  • Good Points!

  • First make doc appt. and have blood drawn to check for anemia.

    You could also be depressed. Your statement that you hate being at home alone is key to your problem. Do you have friends, neighbors? Maybe get more involved with your daughter's school . They are always having holiday parties at school, you could volunteer to help . Volunteer for their field trips. Become a teacher's assistant . Let your daughter have "play dates", friends spend the night over week-end. This is way to meet moms and join groups they are involved in .

  • Hello , It sounds as if you are depressed and I think you could do with a hobbie .It works for me and I never sleep more than 2 hours and often a lot less . Set your alarm and get dressed and go out and research a hobby and it will lift you I promise the only thing is it can get expensive but it makes you happy . Hope you feel better soon , and don't let it drag on go see your doc .

  • Thank you all. First I will set Dr appt. looking for and researching s hobby is great idea. Getting excited just thinking about it. Thank you😀

  • Do you have any old hobbies that you could restart? or perhaps a new one. You said you go to gym in evening, could you attend a daytime class whilst your girls are at school?

  • I am not a physician but you could have a mild form of depression and not even realize that is the reason for the way you feel. Sometimes you can everything in life and still get depressed. I did.

  • me too, anyone can become depressed. and it is not your fault.

  • Depression wipes a person out to the point that everything becomes an effort including getting out of bed even after having 13 - 14 hours of sleep.

    A person can feel a world of difference and back to their old self and sometimes feeling better than they ever did before with medication like I did.

    It breaks my heart that a young mother raising children has their energy zapped away. I know If those symptoms are not addressed It can become crippling to the point where you can't even get out of bed.

    What I would advise is to get a complete blood work up just to make sure their isn't any physical issues. I also would advise going to a psychiatrist . Most good psychiatrists will order blood work before prescribing any psyche medication. My psychiatrist prescribed for me a low dosage of T-3 thyroid medication even though my thyroid level was normal and what difference that made. I could have run a marathon . T-3 thyroid medication helps with depression even if the thyroid levels are normal.

    It is awful to feel exhausted all the time for I know that first hand. If I didn't know better I would have thought I was seriously ill with something fatal. That was how awful I felt, but I knew better because depression has been in my family for generations.

    Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain not a character flaw or the fault of that person. Depression is still looked down upon by some who like to judge others as being lazy, neurotic , and weak minded and than there are some who are just ignorant. I avoid those kind of people as much as possible.

  • This sounds just like I was in the early stages of severe depression. Don't beat yourself up about it. I would recommend visiting your GP and discussing how you are feeling. It's not healthy to want to sleep all the time. It could even be an underlying medical issue that is making you so lethargic. I hope it works out for you. All the best -Emma

  • hi tavalvo, sounds to me that you are truly suffering from depression and I know the feeling and what you describe- sounds so familiar. I have been depressed most of my life and the only med that ever helped me was Viibryd , until , after a few wonderful years it just stopped working. dirty trick, right? but that happens some time. please get to a doctor, dear, and I will be betting that they will help you. remember that meds take time to work and for your body to get used to it and also remember what works for some may not always work for you. I feel that in time you will feel better, do not give up, please, the first med you try might not work but you will surly find something to help you. I will be thinking of you and wishing the best for you.

    love, babsymay

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