Stigma

[Tigger1988]

Hi

What Stigma, Bullying, or Discrimination has anyone experience.

What happened and how did you deal with it?

Take Care xxxx

[Kjb1980]

Hi

With regard to depression ? X

[KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

Ermmm ok.

i was getting a cab to clock view hospital on day, like a mental hospital for a mental health assessment. They deal with inpatients and outpatients. Anyway...when i told the cab driver where i was going, he looked at me in the mirror shocked/concerned and then comically added..."you going to visit someone?...you're not going there to stay or are you?" the whole vibe was just very judgemental. I ended up treating him to one of my rants and that that was a good example of what is wrong with society lol.

i was diagnosed with OCD last year and went through some sort of episode that honestly felt like some sort of breakdown and was suffering from PTSD etc. Anyway, my work was affected. I knew colleagues had noticed, and some were commenting, criticising, treating me different, telling me to go home when my emotions reached the surface. Anyway, when they all found out the truth, they did not acknowledge their behaviour etc. They still continue to be distant and have even commented slyly on things that tie in with my OCD. The comments have reduced, however he same few continue to treat me like an outcast. There is this unpleasant ora when they are there. I'm a lot less fragile now so i can deal with it all better-it still sickens me though.

i remember an old comment years ago too. I was opening up to someone about my eating disorders and i remember them replying..."i disagree. They're are people out there who are REALLY ill and here you are doing it to yourself". I.e they dont think it is classed as an illness...if the root cause is not physical, its alien/unnecessary to them. X

[Hidden in reply to KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

Many people don't understand depression or eating disorders etc. I have found that it is best not to open up to anyone unless they have either been through it, a good friend or understanding family. x

[KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME in reply to Hidden]

Yeah i know, that was like the best part of 10 years ago lol x

[Hidden in reply to KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

A hard lesson. x

[SAMBS in reply to Hidden]

Spot on there coughalot by saying "unless theyv'e been through it! Whatever IT is? I have brain injury be use of aneurysm and brain haemmorhage 3 yrs ago. HEADWAY is the Community here on HU for those of us with Brain Injuries.

Brain Injury, just like Depression can have many causes of it - but it's the after effects, when it changes perception, personality, attitude, - the biggest problem is it's the family and friends who DONT understand the changes and often lose patience - in their eyes we Walk we Talk - so what's the problem? It's sometimes as difficult for the Carer as it is for the Patient!

A broken leg and plaster cast are easier to understand and cope with! If only neurological problems were as easily dealt with! But I do think it's good to talk to others who know what we are going through - we ARE the ones that understand the end result if not able to supply answers to the Cause!

Yes I had depression once in UK, several years ago , but for me an 8 month course of Prozac helped restore the seratonin (normally chemically produced) that my brain was not producing. The original cause of the depression had not changed - it not a person, but a situation that had caused a lot of stress, but once I'd resolved the situation and let go of the stress then bang fell straight into a depression!

The last 3 yrs also have not been easy ones for me, because of different personal circumstances and physical stress. So with hindsight and experience - I'm trying to utilise coping mechanisms - not easy I admit.

- a few nights ago I seriously thought about downing a load of antidepressants I have here and stopped taking over a year ago, my Doctor thought they would cure my Brain Injury effects. – duh!!!

I stopped them because they messed with my brain more, a year after my BI, I thought if I take loads now then I can just go to sleep and not wake up - and my problems become someone else's! I obviously didn't take them but do admit to thinking seriously about it!

I'm convinced it was all the meds new docs put me on that caused my liver problems, which the. caused more neurological and physical health problems also, linked to an autoimmune condition.

However because of my BI I have been following a series on BBC 4 on Thursday Evenings. I watched last Thursday's episode today it was all decision making and how the brain and physical health are linked. I have a decision to make tomorrow between 2 choices - 1 choice will definitely cost me money - the other I don't know but in order to make the decision I would like to be certain of outcome of both - of course I don't know that for certain - so how can I make a decision!

Whatever the the outcome it's my future health/life at stake. It's a decision I have to take about a person and what road

I go down to achieve the outcome I want as quickly as possible!

This is one of many dilemmas/situations we all face in life.

[Hidden in reply to SAMBS]

Hi I remember a manager at work saying to me once that you often have to make a decision without all the facts. This was when I was agonising about taking voluntary redundancy and moving areas, or staying with the company. I chose the former. My sister said well it's not irreversible is it? So why not and go for it. x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh I doubt taking an od of normal ad's would work. I tried that years ago and just woke up 2 days later. Stronger ones maybe. x

[angelite in reply to KNOW_OCD_MOR_THAN_ME]

Hi there,

I came across this article which I felt was interesting.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

I have to say that anything to do with the brain's function , be it deemed neuro or psychological , often seems to make others uncomfortable. I think people can be scared of what they do not understand.

I will be first to admit that some behaviours ( eg. angry, confrontational persistence from my neighbour to make me do something which I consider unreasonable ) can make me feel scared at times, even though I am widely read and understand the mechanism of her problem.

I have no problem with her as a person, only the behaviour when it becomes extreme.

I have neuro probs myself and can say that there is a lot of judgemental behaviour directed at those with visible disabilities too - I see people all the time who look uncomfortable with my physical condition and often make the assumption that my mind is equally disabled !

I agree with the article that there is much crossover between neuro and psychological and the two should be working together more. I simply do not feel that there is enough known about the workings of the brain to be able to classify these two in purely black and white terms - the old grey matter is indeed a grey area ! : )

Take care,

Angela x

[SAMBS in reply to angelite]

My PS reply above Angela about The Brain gives a good insight into what parts are responsible for how we act/react. Last part next Thursday. Hopefully some can catch up with previous episodes on iplayer. S x

[SAMBS in reply to angelite]

Yes I read that article Angela on the ncbi website. Don't we find the same attitudes exist with our GPS today though - they want to treat everything as a physchiatric disorder and dish out anti-depressants in the belief they are a cure all.

Not so, often the problem is a physiological or neurological one where making sure the body others other functionîng systems and symptoms are getting the correct diagnosis and treatment.

I am of the opinion that In most, if not all circumstances, the more drugs we are prescribed the worse our health physical and neurological, becomes.

[Hidden]

Hi I have been bullied several times in jobs over the years. I can't figure out why but must assume that I come over as a bit vulnerable.

The worst time was in my last job when I was bullied for a couple of years by a team leader. She had previous form for bullying but I wasn't believed. When I went off sick because of it she picked on someone else (a man) who also went off sick. He was believed and she was moved away from managing staff to a different job. I have heard she is now back as a team leader....

I got an official warning due to being off with my sickness (depression and anxiety) and I put in a grievance procedure. This was rejected on the grounds that she had behaved correctly and followed the correct procedure. They were obsessed with terminology and ignored her behaviour towards me. This was the DWP as well!

Just before the disciplinary ran out I got a severe chest infection (I have copd and had to have a few days off) and was issued with a final written warning. The infection came back and I had to have a few more days off and I was dismissed. Not for illness but for not fulfilling my work contract. There is a culture of bullying in the DWP and I was a victim of it. I was by no means the only one. . x

[Kjb1980]

Now I've caught up! I agree unless people have had depression , anxiety , OCD etc they struggle to understand it I will put my hands up to say I was the same! My mum suffers from depression and it used to frustrate me! I thought "pull yourself together" and then I got hit with it and anxiety and it's awful!!! So I can now sympathise , I don't get annoyed when people who don't "get it" I just think "I hope one day you don't suffer". As we know 1 in 4 do so pretty high statistics and likely they will that's when they'll understand. I talk to my mum the most and you guys on this site which is so lovely as we all get it ! 😀

Have a good day everyone x

[angelite]

Hi Tigger,

Good post.

Playing devil's advocate here but occasionally the shoe is on the other foot !

I have at times found myself feeling rather bullied by a neighbour who suffers from anxiety and OCD.

I am happy to help out with shopping, ring for cleaning supplies,order represcriptions ( she often runs out of phone credit ) and have a brief chat when convenient but I find her behaviour and demands quite taxing sometimes.

Knocking repeatedly on various windows at all times of day/night, to attract my attention ( she does not come through the gate or up to the door ) is rather disconcerting, especially if you are busy in the bathroom for instance ! Coming round to another neighbour whom I work for if she can't find me at home is likewise rather intrusive I feel, during my working hours. This has been happening a lot of late. The most recent was a demand on my neighbour's doorstep that I ring the GP's immediately, ( I was still officially working for a while longer ) with 4 minutes to go before surgery closed , for a home visit. I tried to explain politely that I was still working and that with only 4 minutes before surgery closing it was rather too late in the day anyway but I could arrange it the next day.

I also offered to get more phone credit for her from the shop, after I had finished work, as hers had run out again so she could phone the GP herself if she wished or talk to other welfare services if she needed in the meantime. She said that she would have all the trouble of finding her phone card and told me to forget it , walking off rather upset and angry with me.

I did go round after finishing my work duties but there was no sign and the place in total darkness ( unusual ) so I suspect she had gone elsewhere ( She is no danger to herself ), perhaps to think things over. I decided not to ring for a GP visit until I knew for sure that she still wanted this and was going to be available. Sometimes, it is difficult to know how best to handle a situation. Whilst I am aware that OCD/anxiety can cause distress, anger, urgency and unusual behaviour, I also feel that my working time/client's time needs to be respected and protected ? I offered what I felt was reasonable, in the circumstances. I hope I have struck the right balance in this case.

Take care,

Angela x

[SAMBS in reply to angelite]

Very difficult one for you Angela, but what you did sounded very reasonable to me! The neighbour is probably lonely and possibly sees you as her personal carer, which puts you in a diffult situation. What sounds like it has started out on your part as being a caring neighbour seems to have turned you into a personal slave! So I think you did right, you drew the boundary line on that occasion and she does need to learn or accept that there is a difference between an I "want" or an I "need" situation. Not so easy a task, I appreciate.

[Tigger1988 in reply to angelite]

I see what your saying. You may just have to say that your finding it taxing as you also have a life to live. She isnt really helping herself.

[SAMBS]

Very difficult one for you Angela, but what you did sounded very reasonable to me! The neighbour is probably lonely and possibly sees you as her personal carer, which put you in a diffult situation. What sounds like it has started out on your part as being a caring neighbour seems to have turned you into a personal slave! So I think you did right, you drew the boundary line on that occasion and she does need to learn or accept that there is a difference between an I "want" or an I "need" situation. Not so easy a task, I appreciate.

[SAMBS]

Tigger sorry I seem to have hi jacked your post.

How are you doing, have you had a bullying problem you have overcome and if so how? I hope things are better for you now. Sambs. X

[Tigger1988 in reply to SAMBS]

Ha ha ha ha its fine lol. I put it up for people to share experiences and advice.

I have had someone say to me "if im so depressed why haven't i killed myself yet"

My whole college class turned against me even the tutors.

A Dr told me to stop being a silly little girl and get out of his office when i was in a crisis situation. etc.

I just put it down to their general ignorance and i tend to say "if you ever feel like i have, you can come to me for advice but i will repeat to you what you said to me before i help you."

At the min i feel fed up but thats probably down to the fact im off work again with sciatica.

Hope you are all feeling good today

Hugs

xxxx

[SAMBS]

...tigger that's horible,,what your class and tutor did? I don't know what else to say - sorry about the sciatica that b......y painful hope you are feeling a little better now

Take care x