I don't know what to do anymore or how to control things. Constantly feeling that I'm alone and lost and can't seem to be happy. Even pictures with family and friends as far back as I can remember I don't even smile for the photos.
I think I'm broken inside and if I don't change my ways I can't see a happy future..
Having a bad night
Sorry folks
Martin
To be honest when it comes to photographs I can relate, I understand the only photographs of me were take in the fifties I do not think, even with my wife there are no or very few photographs of me. It was me that took photographs and when I die sad to say will be well and truly forgotten, one of those who never really existed. So please do not crack yourself up about it
How can we help ??
BOB
Don't really how anyone can help. I've been like this for a long time. I had a good up bringing, I have some good friends I have known for almost 30 years. I have 2 amazing kids and a good job.
But there's a part of me that the light has switched off. A darkness that can't be brightened and as depressing as it sounds. A soul that can't be mended
I don't know why
Hello Martin
Why do you feel that you are you are surrounded by darkness and your soul cannot be mended, it would seem to many that when you say your soul cannot be mended you have either done something wrong or you feel you must be an evil person,
When people say their soul is broken, the soul can act as an uncaring sadist tool that you are frightened about. The soul breaks as its master has become more evil, the soul blackens
Are you a danger to your family, or work. If the soul will break, could that prevent you moving on after death ??
BOB
Hi Bob, I appreciate your concern but I would never be a danger to anyone. let along my family. the sense of being in darkness etc is just my way of trying to explain my loneliness and feeling down and lost. not dark and dangerous like a bomb waiting to go off.
Thanks
Hi Martin
Sorry to hear your feeling down about things and I do hope we can all help you get to a better place. I've been the same the past few months and sound very similar to you but without the two children.
Have you sought help with this at all? I've got a good job too and was able to tap into something called EAP (employment assistance programme) where I was given 6 over the phone counselling sessions, just wondering if your employer does the same?
I've had really dark times the past few months and I must say this site has been amazing with the help and support. I'm not out of the woods by a long means but I'm starting to feel better and this is the best I've felt on a Monday before work in around 5 months.
Good luck Martin and we are all here if you need a rant.
Chris
Morning Martin
How are you, this morning.
Are you feeling any better than what you felt last night??.
BOB
Hi Bob, yeah feeling a bit better, just need to try and lift myself back up and get on with things. keeping busy at work helps.
morning Martin, our thoughts can mess us up big time I truely know that, I'm trying hard to work though it myself but often slip back not as much as I did before which is good. I have been married 3 times to find that I'm better on my own then to sit and wonder what is the matter with me ?? self dowt is a nightmare, what do I do ???
you take care Martin will be happy to chat soon x x
Hi, thanks for the reply. much appreciated and for the support. x
Martin
If you need to go forward I would advise you to see your GP and discuss with Him how you feel. He will be able to work out a pathway that you could work with.
You mention children, How does your better half feel regarding your feelings ?.
BOB
Hope this does not come out as repeat but site not working well a.m. today.
Firstly all humans are alone and lost , the less sensitive or smart just feel it less or are unaware of it. I think most philosophers who have pondered the human condition have pronounced it pointless.
However I do believe that increasing the sum total of human happiness gives life some sort of point and to aim at making your kids, family, friends and colleagues happier is a worthwhile objective. One does n't have to go mad just a little extra encouragement , thoughtfulness ,or a word of appreciation will cost nothing and you'll have increased the sum total of human happiness by a bit, and this might make you feel less lost and a bit happier.
You don't give a lot of info. but if you have a good job, friends and good kids you must be doing a lot right already. You don't mention your wife, but personally I found it a great help to talk about my feelings to my wife , which meant the problem was kept in house (worthwhile even in these more enlightened times ) and also let her know the problem was n't with her. but was a product of my mind state. She of course had a great deal of interest in my holding down a good job for all of our sakes, and a lot of patience. She was also able to "protect" me with a hint or a nudge or a light hearted covering remark when things got overly grim. Eventually I got good enough at putting on a cheerful front to hold down a pretty demanding career.
Regarding your first sentence do you have to do anything or control anything ?
If things continue unhappily for you , hopefully you have a good GP , who might be able to advise you. I needed the pills in addition to my wife's support, but if you're lucky or very strong its probably best to manage without them-only you can really judge this.
Best of luck , you don't sound really depressed, or at least not more than all we humans ought to be.
Now to find a way of taking my own advice.
Martin just a couple of other thoughts that might help.
My wife persuaded me to take up golf when I was at a low ebb. I would n't recommend golf (it can be very depressing at times ) but at least Saturday mornings of gentle exercise with male company helped keep me sane but hopefully some of those good friends are local and a game of tennis, bowls, football, or even fishing might help. A bit of exercise (jogging would do as at a push ) preferably in the company of a friend(s) is helpful and cuts out a lot of introspection. If you are the introspective type I would try and avoid it as much as possible-its all too easy to rationalise the future as being black.
Also I found reading a big help. While reading fiction or non fiction I found interesting I found that I could lose myself in another world for a few hours which also helped avoid too much thinking ,especially thinking about myself. My only problem now is in finding new authors ,books and subjects of interest but you seem young enough to have not hit this problem yet. Hopefully you are either a natural or potential reader as this is one activity anyone can do (all on their own ) and even with a demanding family most of us can find half an hour before falling asleep. That half hour lost in the world of the book can be a welcome "holiday" from the real world for you and your mind.
Cheers Olderal
I don't know what to do
I don't want to be here anymore
I just don't know 
When you just don't know...
So low I don't know what to do anymore
