Desperately seeking guidance

[unoriginal-_-]

Hello, I need a way of getting hold of some kind of medication for my severe depression. I have tried many things to overcome the suffocating fog that is my metal illness but nothing has even altered it as of yet. I am desperately looking for medication that can help me, this is a last resort as things have gotten considerably worse lately. suicide has been attempted previously and I am urgent to find a way of blocking out these damning thoughts as best as I can, this is not something I wish to do to the people around me. Is there anyway I can acquire anything without it being logged on my medical records?

[Hidden]

Hi the simple answer to that is no I don't think you can unless you can find anyone who already has them. But if you are thinking of doing what I think you want to do please don't. This would be the worst thing you could do to your loved ones and much worse than what you think are doing now.

Now this might be a silly question but have you had any counselling? Or had any recently? I do understand how you feel but please don't give up hope until you have tried everything you can - even if you think you have there is always hope. Does your doctor know how you are feeling? Can you go back and talk to them? If you haven't got a sympathetic one then see another one.

Now you have found us stay with us and we will help and support you all we can. We all understand mental health issues. You have value and I care about you even though I don't know you. Hugs

bev xx

[unoriginal-_- in reply to Hidden]

I don't think you realise how much this support means to me. I have tried counselling and I find it incredibly difficult because I really struggle to open up to people face to face.

My doctor is arrogant and shut me down as soon as I attempted to ask for help.

I just don't know which way to turn any longer, a find myself trapped and however much I am repulsed at the idea of how suicide would affect those around me, they are the only reason I haven't had the courage to follow through with it yet.

[Hidden in reply to unoriginal-_-]

Yeah I do realise love because I need the support I find here so much. I have no one in the real world I can really talk to and the great people on here have been a lifesaver. Change your doctor please until you find one who will listen to you. Some don't but many do. Don't be put off because one is a twat!

Can you take someone with you? If not why don't you print off what you have said here and just hand it to the doctor? It can be hard to open up to a counsellor - tell them this at the start and a good counsellor should be able to work round this. You might find you can't get on with your counsellor as this does happen - if so you are at liberty to say this and ask for another one.

You have taken the very hard first step to getting help by coming in here so well done for that. You will get more replies as others will be coming in either later tonight or tomorrow. Hang on please. Lots of hugs

Bev xxx

[unoriginal-_- in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou, it's so lovely to hear that I'm not the only one that feels so alone.

I will truly try to bring myself to seek professional help, I just find it very hard.

I am a very closed of person, I seem perfectly normal to the untrained eye, but for this reason I do not keep close friends. Risking anybody realising how different I really am terrifies me. I try to drown the noise in my head with as many distractions as I can but sometimes I feel like my depression has turned my limbs into led, the thought of moving them makes me tired and sad and I cannot take another second of sadness.

Hence the reason for me being so desperate for some medication.

My name is Baya by the way, I'm 16.

Xxx

[Hidden]

Baya your post is almost the same as my very first posting ! Coughalot says sensible things , it is well worth listening to and taking the advice given he/she has helped me a lot! I have written on here my worst thoughts my worst feelings and almost always get good advice to counteract how I am feeling ! I have just come out of a 3 day depression (I tend to sleep solidly for 24 48 hours just getting up to go to the loo) and you will find also you are not so different than others your age , its just how you react to your feelings get some help from your Dr Depression need not go on file he may even put "Growing pains" as that is what it could be I wish you all the best!!

[unoriginal-_- in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou for all of your support, I really appreciate it. I think growing pains is deffi matey ruled out because I haven't grown an inch since I turned 12! I'm finding it very difficult to bring myself to actually go to my doctors but I will try. Sorry if I'm rambling on. I'm really thankful for your responses. In answer to your question, I tend to be afraid to let people know about my depression because the only time I ever told one friend she's didn't believe me and ridiculed me quite abit.

Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Aw thank you Dell1 that is very kind of you to say so. Oh by the way I am a girlie Bev xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

oops sorry Bev

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ha ha ha xx

[Henrietta1]

Why ? it is nothing to be ashamed of, you need proper medical health .Maybe a phone helpline too (the samarations are confidential )

[Dale20]

Just hang in there Baya, you'll be fine, don't think of suicide thought because it doesn't help you cope with your issues.