Good afternoon all.

[alcampbell4913]

In work at the moment, I have been having a very tuff few days. I have suffered with depression for the past 18 months, I came off medication 6 months ago as I was a zombie.

Found this website and it looked like a good place for help and understanding.

two days ago for the very first time I thought about ending it all.

I keep telling myself it will pass.

I am totally exhausted with the false me , pretending to others all is ok and I have no problems or issues.

I am ashamed and find it extremely difficult to tell any one about the depression. I am very sad to here the comments people make that depression doesn't exist and look at all they have to live for etc etc.

I am really stuck at the moment . I have just started 1 of 7 12 hour shifts in a row and would be unable to get time off to see the Dr, Work do not know about my depression and I do not think I would get any help at all.

people say don't lock yourself away and keep socialising this is the last thing I want to do at the moment.

Alan

[CarmelaGrace]

Hi Alan. This is a great place for help and support. Some times it is busy, and other times it is really quiet, so don't get down-hearted if it takes a while for people to reply.

I can totally understand about you coming off the medication because of the way it was making you feel - that's what I did a couple of years ago, although I've recently re-started taking medication.

Depression is exhausting, and it's very hard to explain to someone who has no experience of it.

You are not alone.

Can't help with your shifts, but perhaps you could make sure to organise an appointment with the doctor as soon as you can after your long shifts have finished? Remember you can always ask for an emergency appointment.

Best wishes,

Carmela

[alcampbell4913 in reply to CarmelaGrace]

Thanks for Your Reply Carmela. I will see my Dr he did explain last time that shift work rotating days and nights can have an impact on how anti depressants work.

he was talking about what times to take the tablets depending on which shift.

I think I need some just to have a break.

Best wishes

Alan

[Hidden]

Hi Alan nice to meet you and welcome to the site. It sounds to me you came off the meds too soon. Don't forget that a lower dose or a change of meds might have work better for you as it's often trial and error. I agree that you need to go back to the doctors and have a chat. Have you thought of counselling?

It sounds like you are working much too hard for socialising so I would put that on hold until you have more time and energy. Working 12 hour shifts must be extremely draining and even worse with depression which makes you tired anyway.

I don't generally talk about my depression with anyone except on here but I do have a couple of friends I can discuss it with from time to time. Do you have anyone in your life who might understand? Many people these days have either gone through it themselves or have loved ones who have so not everyone is unsympathetic. As for telling work I wouldn't unless you have to as often they don't understand either and are just concerned with getting the maximum work out of their employees. Don't tell anyone you can't trust.

Stay with us here and we will help and support you all we can. Take care

Bev xx

[alcampbell4913]

Thanks Bev .sound Advice I think I should have given the meds a bit longer. I don't think they helped at first so my Dr doubled the dose which made me as I put it a Zombie just sat overthinking and doing nothing. I am a very active person despite the depression so I struggled doing nothing.

6 counselling sessions last year which was helpful.

Thanks for your response I will stay on.

Live strong as they say. x

Alan

[Hidden]

Hello Alan

You need to give medications a good chance too work, upwards of four to six weeks. Sometimes if you are having problems with medications and shifts, they may consider bunker injections and that may help.

If possible it is a good idea to be able to talk to someone who knows you, who you can trust.

Of course you have this site who will help and have a listening ear so do not be a stranger.

BOB

[alcampbell4913]

great information and advice thank you