Please send as many replies to this post, no it's not to make me popular it's to let me know I'm not insane or as insane as a depressed person can be.
Wanting something to eat that was more than a biscuit but not too filling as I was not hungry but just wanting to eat I have eaten half a packet of Jaffa cakes and I have never liked them,
The problem with these Jaffa cakes was very surprising,they were orange flavoured.
I have alway disliked the taste of orange but this was important I HAD to eat them otherwise my Husband would have to put up with me feeling really quite annoyed ,I can moan,I can strop,I can be argumentative and all the rest and he knows when I mean business.
Cutting the story a little short they left me nauseated with heartburn.
So I have decided that the answer is next time I feel the need to do it again I make sure it's something I like not the first thing in the cupboard , oh one more thing my heartburn and indigestion remedy has worsened my nausea as the the medication is mint flavoured and that mixed with the orange after taste of the Jaffa cakes is probably one of the most disgusting things I have tasted.
Now here is the scale of being fed up and feeling sorry for yourself to complete and utter insane.......................I did the same thing last weekend.
I will send on a serious post just as soon as I have digested my binge.
Out of interest has anybody else felt the needing to eat something and it being something you don't particularly care for and has give out a vomiting feel.?.???...?.?
Michelle
X
At least it has took my attention from the depression for a while.
BELOW IS THE OFFENDING ARTICLE ,WILL BE EVEN MORE OFFENDING WHEN I WEIGH MYSELF TOMORROW . I MIGHT TAKE A RAIN CHECK ON THAT ,UNLESS OF COURSE THEY MANAGE TO WIN THE FIGHT WITH ME AND I FIND MYSELF VOMITING THEM BACK UP,
MUST GO I AM IN A RUSH............
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Michelle1974
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Yes I am here, I suppose I would be sick eating any type of biscuit upside down, although it may be the mint type of medicine you are taking if it is what I think cannot place my finger on it at the moment I would feel the same.
Have you a drug problem ???. or is it just the time of day??
Bob, I haven't got a drug problem but I've got a problem with drugs!
The chemist is the one with a drug problem,I have got them all in my cupboards.
I could start a new trend or a new highly paid career,you name the medical problem I have probably got the drug.
The thing is Bob I am not joking, I have three types of morphine. Two anti sickness, temazepam,diazepam, tablets to protect my gastric tract due yo the tablets,bladder tablets,bowel tablets,Gabbapentin,anti histimane , for the itching etc that morphine gives you, anti- depressants ( that's no shock), creams,lotions and potions. I bet you wish you had never asked.
All that medication is needed to get me through pain and spasms.
They do make me feel tired and let's put it this way I am not on the car insurance to drive it,I don't go out alone and with all things told it it desperately painful for me to walk.
Had some 30 surgeries to patch me back up and then dr realized it was doing me no good hence a stoma bag for urine catheterization.
Don't think it's the drudgery it's all above board they are prescription drugs.
No I think the Jaffa cakes made me feel so greedy and sick i needed to share this as an aim to clear my consciousness.
May review this medication though as some of it goes by body weight,well I think those ones that need to be on the increase!
Rest assured pain psychology is the only mental health I get, do you think others maybe of good use to me.
I am a Picnic short of a sandwich ,er,err,errr, that's right isn't it . Ha ha.
I just try and be a jolly person on a bad day
Thank you for your kind concern Bob,I will get by with people like you
If you are on three different Opiate medications and you are taking Sleeping tablets and anti depressants to calm you and further types to control nurological pain I would try and talk to your GP about trying to consolidate your medications as you are taking medications that are doing the same things in some different ways. This could cause you problems. With luck they can rationalize your drugs and possibly reduce the contraindications.
Under those reasons it may be an idea to ask your GP to arrange an appointment with a PAIN CLINIC, they will be able to assist and incorporate your medications.
I also understand you are taking medications from your tummy and spasms, I can see the medications you are taking there, two of them so possibly they could remove one and part increase the dose of the remaining medication. You will also get an Opiate rash hence the creams they have given you and the anti histimane will be assisting with your rash.
You say you have a stoma, may I ask what was the original diagnosis here you say you have gone through various operations what is the problem you have ??
You need to understand I am not a doctor just a patient, so I can only give guarded response. Only your Specialists can advise.
Personally I feel that all the departments need to rationalize your medications as it seems that some drugs could do the same as another one of the same group.
Thank you Bob,it's nice to know that people understand how I feel with all the medication i take.
I had a Caesarean section with my twins, apparently if was under anesthetic for hours after the babies were delivered and put into special care.
During the surgery the locum doctor/ surgeon was digging himself into a bigger hole trying to cover up his negligence keep me alive and get me into recovery so he could exit the hospital quicker than I nearly exited life.
Before I say any more my identical twin boys were perfect.they both weighed 5 lb 5 oz, both 48 cms long, same head circumference which I can't remember off hand,they were the same temperature and their blood sugars were the same,if you had time to count the hairs on their head I think they would be the same! I was and am so lucky,fascinated and blessed to be given them ,it's something that even now they are 12 years old they never fail to amaze me.
They love and adore each other so much I could cry when I see them sat holding hands and talking then they will kiss each other on the cheek and say love you.
It is the closest relationship I have ever seen anyone have it's so,so deep and beautiful. I am lucky really aren't I,so blessed.
I love them as a couple so much an desperately of course.
Anyway back on track,the surgeon had not performed a Caesarean section in this country and he never even knew the rules of the theatre and how many people should be present with twins.
He realized what he was doing to me and that was stitching my uterus,bladder and bowel all together,he never told anyone who was in theatre with him what he had done but wrote a protocol of how I should be looked after post op and it was a list of things that should never really need to be done,it was a good as one to one nursing,many Iv drips,antibiotics Iv,blood taken and tested four times a day,catheter to stay in place for at least six weeks it's normally 24 hours.
My obs done every half an hour and to be seen by the consultant and a surgeon twice daily,with at least a 14 to 21 day hospital stay,normally 2 to 3 days.
I lost blood and clots through the catheter and no urine but urine was leaking from the uterus.
It was a fistula and in the early hours some six days later I felt it all rip apart.
Due to infections and swelling it was five weeks before they could do any surgery then all they could do was try to repair all the holes etc that had been caused.
I have a Urinary Catheter fitted from the pubic bone area,my bowel has about another six months of functioning left ( that's from now ) I need a hysterectomy to be done at the same time and my catheter stoma will be on my stomach as they are going to use my appendix,I will have a colostomy bag also.
To speed all this text up a bit before you get fed up, all my stomach muscle they used to repair the holes from the fistula caused a hernia to appear. This was operated on some 10 times plus as my body was leaking fluid from glands and other areas and collecting around the hernia repair and hematomas.
I had mash put in to repair it,taken out as I was severely reacting to it ,left without nothing and that just caused more fluid leaking so they then used pigs skin,obvious title has a medical name to it but I can't think of it at the moment.
I had four fluid drainage bottles,the catheter bag and two drip stands all accompanying me for five months.
As you can imagine I have been left in such a mess,it's hard to stand up straight,I am unable to lay on my back and walking is so awfully painful. I still get all the problems my drugs are meant to stop or help it's just a few degrees less painful than it would be without any drugs.
I do have a pain consultant and if if I feel I can go they offer different things to try.
It's such a long story and I have probably missed out an awful lot but that will all come out in conversations in the future. Thank you for showing interest in my posts and it's great to think I have people to communicate with.
No you're not insane. I don't think the problem you describe is uncommon. It sounds just like the self destructive trait of depression, like self harming (I can't imagine people actually enjoy the pain to start off with, although some say they do). I'm wondering if you're trying to find a way of converting your emotional pain to physical pain because you find it easier to deal with - as you did say you were glad for the distraction - and the feeling of wanting to vomit is probably the best distraction there is because it's internalised, like your depression, and is more consciously consuming than if it was something in the environment. Perhaps the feeling of like you're about to vomit is like a stress release because it's so physical.
It's not the best coping mechanism though and I do think you need to address it, it might be the beginnings of an eating disorder, so it's best to nip in the bud as soon as possible. If you find yourself tempted to do it again, please see your GP.
Fay, I am just pratting around joking. I have to much time on my hands and too much to eat.
I am just acting the idiot and I do it quite we'll!
I wind the kids up with things and my husband say don't be so cruel.
I think I get it off my dad, he has a really hard time ,he has prostrate cancer and a bad heart. He also has Nerve ending damage. To make it all worst my mom walked out on him years ago and he has my 35 year old Brother with Cerebal Palsy to look after. I feel bad for not being well enough to help him.
My mom just walked and left,she said my Brother and I were her world ,she bothers with me four times a year roughly and she has never been back to see my brother.
Dad has always had a sense of humour in his ways and I think that's what keeps him going. As me and dad say at least we are only making jokes of ourselves.
On the other hand though if someone asked me to write a few words down about myself,it would be lack of confidence,no use to anyone,fat and ugly.
As for the Jaffa cakes as soon as my boys got home from golf,swimming and football they were ready to empty the cupboards of any sins!!
If I in a silly mood again I will put only joking at the end.
It's nice in a way though for people like me to know there are people who do care and listen.
I will post sensible next time,also if you double click on my smiley face picture it explains loads more.
I'm feeling rather silly now. My apologies for misinterpreting your post so much. Thank you for sharing your story with me and I'm sorry to read about some of the problems you've experienced with your family. I think it's great that you have been able to use humour, to help you through the tough times - although bare in mind it is important to be serious sometimes. I don't want to put a damper on things. And I don't want to give you a lecture as, through my own limited engagement on this forum, I don't you know very well (I'll remedy that though). But I wanted to say - remember that it's ok not to be ok sometimes. From the way you describe yourself in the post, I can see that there are underlying challenges you face. You seem like a fantastic person, I'm sure many others would use very different words to the ones you used to describe yourself. For example, look at how many smiles you've put on people's faces today, from writing this post.
I so much know where you are coming from to say it's ok not to be ok.
I fooled myself,family,friends,medical teams etc that I was a wonderful coper and when people used to say how do you do it I just used to say I get on with life and never stop to think of my health conditions which cause the majority of the depression.
When things got out of hand and I admitted to not coping,crying every time I was on my own,going mad in my mind with pain,sadness,no one there for me and them thinking I was there for them.
Trying to keep up the way I cleaned the house twice a day,my boys were beautifully dressed one tiny spot of yoghurt e.g would make me turn it into a whole outfit change for the children.
Doing all the shopping ,doing voluntary work,looking after my six boys,the garden perfectly mowed and weeded,taking the boy out with picnics and while all this was going on my husband was working just as much for a company who put so much stress on him but kept telling him he would be area manager in no time,he bent over backwards for them and then they sold out!
So I know what you are saying,it's like when people are over confident it can hide what they believe to be their failings.
Good to talk to you Fay
Message me any time and remember I was the one playing the fool not you,but yes it is good to have fun and laughs sometimes as we'll
Best wishes
Michelle
X
Oy so that's where my luvely jubbly jaffa cakes went and I blamed the cat I think you are completely bonkers to eat something you don't want too but it does depend how much you value peace with your hubby!
Next time make sure there is something in the cupboard he hates and make him eat that in return for you eating yours! bev x
• in reply to
Ps I am just finishing off my last 2 jaffa cakes but they are the right way up! Not sure if I am though xx
• in reply to
Ooops just realised I misread your post - so sorry. Bev x
Good idea Bev, I will give him something with cold custard and if he deserves it I will also make the custard!!
I think he can make it up to me with a nice fresh cream cake tomorrow,maybe some chocolate as well,if I devour it at the right time (during school hours)
I won't have to share!
I agree with the bonkers part ( oh that could sound quite rude if it had not been spoken from such ladies like you and I) it's too much time on my hands Bev that's made me a grape too short of a bunch.
Like they say or I do anyway and that's if you did not laugh you would cry!
i can eat a whole packet of jaffa cakes in one sitting. Do you consider them to be a cake or a biscuit? x
Ha ha Lucy I remember that row the manufacturers had over that too Bev x
I think you and me would get on well Michelle. I am a bit of a wind up merchant at times. It comes from living 20 years in East London where everyone wound each other up (mainly nice with a good sense of humour) but not always. I remember one guy trying to take the mickey about my unironed blouse. I turned round and said at least mine is silk instead of that tatty cotton thing you're wearing! Lovely...
My fave one was in my local pub who I played darts for. I was just chatting with my dart friends and said I would like a baby one day. I forget what big ears the Landlady Jill had. 'Oh you do do you'? she said 'I will see what I can do for you Bev'. So she told all these old geezers in the pub and one by one they came over smiling volunteering their services! A friend said 'You should know better than say that in here' I said 'Yep'. That still has me cracking up to this day.
Hi Bev , I feel more subdued tonight I don't know why but nearly everything has irritated me. I have kept telling the boys to play in another room.
Samuel one of the twins asked if he could read his boom to me and I had to say no Sam ask someone else. As my boys are used to me making light of things and putting on a brave happy face (that doesn't belong to me I just borrow it when nobody else is using it.) Its there for the taking tonight and I feel so miserable,uncomfortable and just not right ,don't know what has irritated me so much but I have not felt good all day.
I feel lethargic just sitting here,things that I would normally just let go I have been picking people up on.
Perhaps tomorrow will be different ,thank you for your reply with the humour etc.
Next time I message you I will let you know what made me want to shrink to nothing,be swallowed up by the ground kind of thing
Will go and take my moaning with me Bev and text tomorrow
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I think you are completely bonkers to eat something you don't want too but it does depend how much you value peace with your hubby! 
Was I really in the wrong?
Tired so very tired
Im never going to manage....
4 day's clean,see how long this goes for.
New job
