Depression is it me: Why is it harder... - Mental Health Sup...

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Depression is it me

Lo62 profile image
Lo62
14 Replies

Why is it harder to recover from depression as you get older or is this just me?

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Lo62 profile image
Lo62
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14 Replies
Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi there and if your a newcomer as I think you are your welcome.

Now you haven't given much information or background. I don't think its

Any harder or easier to get over Depression as we get older. Statistically

The older people get the happier they are, and people tend to be less Depressed

As they get older.

I cannot say for sure as I think we cannot compare ourselves to anyone, we

Are all so individual. It's never easy getting over Depression if you are

A teen, young mum or a pensioner.

Hannah

Lo62 profile image
Lo62 in reply to Photogeek

Hi Photo Geek thank you for answering. Sorry my post was rather short wasn't it. I am as you guessed new here though I have been reading through a lot of the posts. I'm feeling rather "fightless" at the moment if you know what I mean. Perhaps I should give you a summary of depression and me. I have had bouts of it through the years, sometimes 2 years between or 6 years between all varying times. Through time I thought I had a handle on the depression, I know what I physically and mentally need to do to fight it. It was just a case of how long it would take me to pull myself back up, defeat the over-riding numbness, and the wanting to run away from the blackness. I am now 62 and this time I simply have lost the fight. I haven't been able to shift it properly for three years and I'm so tired of fighting. It's as though the depressed personality is me now for ever and the laughing joking personality has been replaced. It scares me. I hope you understand my ramblings.

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_ in reply to Lo62

Hello Lo62 I hear what you are saying about being sick of fighting the low mood but you know it isn't "you" per-se but just how you feel; both the laughing joking personality and the depressed personality are mood states.

I don't think there is any reason why it should get worse as you get older ; it may even be that it hasn't; just that when it does come because you HAVE felt better that when you go back it feels worse than ever (I can often feel like this; I am 56 and in general I would say getting better but unfortunately when depression hits it does feel exactly like you describe. THAT IT IS YOU AT YOUR CORE. ) But you need to remember that it ISN'T. THIS IS JUST WHAT THE DEPRESSION IS TELLING YOU AND HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL.

Having said that I remember using those very words last time I went to see my psychiatrist which was only about 3 weeks ago and i'd been pretty desperate. I said something like "it just gets harder as you get older as you get weaker in yourself as you just havn't got the fight in you anymore to get through it ". At the moment I don't feel like that but at the time i felt it very strongly; so yes maybe there is something in it?

At the age of 62 I guess you've looked into AD's and different treatments and so forth. What works for one will not work for another. I find exercise and good diet can make a massive difference to me but then also being honest when I am in that negative state you describe NOTHING makes much difference and I just try and ride it out.

Feel free to express yourself some more on here anyway; that's what we are here for, to support each other.

Gemma X

Over the years,, my initial depression started at twenty I seemed to suffer in waves as I was awaiting a diagnosis for several years before they decided that it was caused by unusual type of RA and associated bullying because I was unable to lift. Then medically retired by a unhelpful employer. My depression now has lasted at least twenty years plus and now set in for the final push as a continued period without any remission. So now I am sixty four and my life has taken a turn as I live in a adapted bungalow that is better too get around with helpful residents that live next door

No-one has turned around to me and tried to withdraw medications I take for it as I can turn when people upset me and I have several sticky problems to sort out from my old life in a semi. With thoughtless neighbours.

Personally I feel it becomes more problematic when older and I suppose we become old in our ways and actions. Sometimes I can become moody with chronic pain so I generally feel set to the wooden box and my meeting up with my old Terrier Pip whose ashes will be buried at my side

BOB

Lo62 profile image
Lo62

Borderriever I'm ashamed to say I have no excuse for my depression I am not ill and definitely not in pain as you are. So my heart goes out to you.

WantToChange profile image
WantToChange in reply to Lo62

Depression itself is a mental health condition. You shouldn't be ashamed to say there is nothing causing it. Just because you're not in pain doesn't mean you can't be depressed. Your brain chemistry is the reason you are depressed (for most ppl with depression anyways). The hormones are just not as balanced as they should be... Depression is nothing to be ashamed of!!

If you have had depression most of your life, then maybe you are getting tired of battling it abd maybe that's why you feel it's getting harder to recover? Just a thought...

You're welcome here anytime.

WTC xx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Lo thanks for giving me a bit of background, I can relate to what you wrote.

It's hard to be constantly fighting it, I do it too. You sound like a lovely person,

It's not your fault your depressed, so forget the guilt.

There is hope so do t worry you are not stuck In grumpy depressed mode.

I find different things help me, a bit of everything, antidepressants, meditation,

Excercise, support from here and other bits and pieces.

Please try and stick around and you will get to know us here and

Be able to draw on the support and helping hand from us. I hate to think of

You feeling that you are stuck, as it's just how you feel today. When we areIn the depths

Of Depression this is the way we feel.

Lo I hope this helps a bit and it's nice meeting you.

Warm hugs

Hannah x

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40

Not sure why you feel ashamed to have depression without a reason. It just happens. Happy people, sad people, rich people, poor people, green people with purple spots. Anyone can get depression. I actually think it's become easier as I've got older. In my twenties I didn't understand why I felt depressed and always made stupid decisions that I regretted. As I get older, I become better at recognising signs that my mood is dipping and I deal with stuff much better. When you've been depressed for a long time, you become quite an expert. I look forward to be a thoroughly miserable 80 year old with oodles of experience!

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Lucy how are tonight ? You must be over the moon with your lovely

New car.

Hannah x

Hi Lo62 nice to meet you and welcome to the site.

I think depression is both harder and easier to deal with when you are older. Easier because you tend to know yourself much better and have developed strategies over the years to deal with it. You also know you have kicked it before which gives you hope it can be beaten again.

Harder because when you are older you tend to have less energy or hope for the future as most of your life is behind you. There are also lots of lifestyle changes when older such as kids leaving home or retirement etc. And people lose partners as well so loneliness can be a big factor. Your family and friends start popping off too which is very depressing.

I am virtually the same age as you and don't look forward to old age and possible disability etc.

Omg! Listen to me - if you weren't depressed before you will be now :O x

Maman2144 profile image
Maman2144

I too am in my sixties and I too find it harder to cope with my depression. I am facing having to go back on meds again after being off for a year. I'm going swimming today , hopefully this will help me feel a bit more positive. Hope you keep talking to group, nice people and understand what life can be like. Regards Lorna

LibbyR profile image
LibbyR

Hello Lo62, I have nothing sensible to add but welcome. I am new too - so glad to have found this forum.

Libby x

Lo62 profile image
Lo62

Thank you all for your kind comments, I really appreciate it. The stupidity of it is that I know exactly what I need to do, what I need to think but I haven't got the fight anymore and I know its pathetic. Truly I just want to run away somewhere where I don't have to think, feel or deal with people and normal daily stuff. Even that is laughable as depression makes me agoraphobic, so I wont get past my front door. Running away wont work anyway would it, the depression goes with you. I wish someone would section me and ban all visitors, how selfish am I. I just want peace.

warren218 profile image
warren218

I think it's maybe because you know you have less time to look forward to if that makes sense. I sometimes think if I had gone through the same things all ten years earlier in my 20s then it wouldn't have bothered me as much as it does now. I wouldn't be feeling like I'm on the scrapheap as much as relationships and work is concerned. I know that's not necessarily true but low self-esteem will do that to you. And I think if you've been fighting it as long as you have OP, then I'm sure you're pretty fed up with it by now. What worries me is how many teens on here thinking it's all over for them when life has barely begun.

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