Hi, I'm not really sure what to write.

[TangerineMan]

Hi everyone. I've just joined after seeing a link here from NHS choices. I think I'm suffering with depression and have been since last summer when my mum took her own life. She didn't have a history of mental illness and we're not sure why she did it. She left a note just saying that she couldn't cope. Since then I've been totally lost. I can't find interest in anything, I'm not eating properly, I'm drinking too much and I'm always tired.

I've got a good job and financially I'm OK but I'm making mistakes at work because I just can't be bothered to do anything. I saw my GP last year who recommended I see a bereavement councillor which I think was helpful and I also had some group therapy for people bereaved by suicide (which I hated). The councellor was only for 12 weeks provided by my local authority but I'm thinking I need to find someone else to speak to. Do you think I should speak to my GP again? My feelings are definitely getting worse and although I live with my partner, I feel really alone.

Thanks for reading.

[Photogeek]

Hi there Tangerine and your very welcome to the Forum . Firstly my sincere sympathy

about your Mother.

That must be hard to cope with, your trying to cope with grief as well as

The added trauma of suicide. Grief is a process and it goes in different stages. Grief

Is one of the stages, and if this Grief is not resolved it can lead to more Complicated

Depression.

I think it's very understandable to be depressed when you have had to come to terms

With this. I suggest you go back to your GP and be -100% honest about how you

are. Also maybe you can get referred to some kind of talking therapy.

If you stick around you will get lots of support here

Hannah

[Photogeek]

Tangerine . I meant to say never be worried about what to write here.lol

We are an easygoing bunch so just write what you like.

Hannah

[Maggiet]

Hi there. I am sorry to hear the distress you are in. I was wondering if your workplace offered counselling through their Well being policy? There is also the charity Cruse who help with the bereaved by whatever cause. The Samaritans also lend a listening, non judgemental ear for those people who, like you, are distressed. Perhaps it would be wise to see your gp, but obviously I can't advise on that. I hope you can find some peace and a lifting of your mood very soon. Be kind to yourself.

[Suzie40]

Hello, and welcome.

I'm so sorry that this happened. I can't even begin to imagine how it must have been for you. All those unanswered questions. I have never grieved for anyone who has died, so I'm not going to pretend to understand how you're feeling. However I'm really pleased that you've come here to speak to us and I know that you'll always find a friendly face on this forum x

[TangerineMan]

Thanks all,

Weirdly, I'm OK about my mum's death. I've kind of accepted it but July 11th will be the anniversary and although I don't believe in putting emphasis on dates we'll see how that goes...

MaggieTT - the group thing I went to was with Cruise at Samaritans HQ in London. They were incredible and I despite me not enjoying it, I would recommend it - it was me that found it hard. I don't really like sharing in person (the anonymity of this makes me happier ). How do you do a smiley in a bracket??

Thank you for the kind words and help though. I was happy enough before my mum died and now things are just a struggle. I'm not naive enough to think it isn't just grief but I can't link it to how I'm feeling. My mums death day to day doesn't upset me but I feel really depressed.

[TangerineMan]

PS. Just worked out how to do a smiley in a bracket! ( )

[SueBee60]

The death of a loved one by suicide is one of the hardest things to come to terms with - far harder than a death from illness or accident or old age. Everyone is left asking why? and what could I have done? I think definitely seek further counselling. CRUSE are excellent. Don't think you are meant to enjoy it though - it's meant to be a way of expressing your feelings and I know from experience can leave you wrung out and exhausted. Good luck.