Lost...

[ThemysciraDrive]

Really lost at the moment. Horrible, awful day. Can't really find the words to describe it, but just don't want to be here any more, too much effort when all I do is f**k everything up anyway. The black wolf is telling me I'm worthless and hopeless and I don't have the strength to argue.

[Gambit62]

Hang on in there Will - and try not to beat yourself up - if it's mistakes that you made - we all make mistakes and need the space to make mistakes so we can learn.

You are not worthless.

You are depressed so hope is a totally alien concept so not going to tell you you aren't hopeless

And it is okay just to sit there in a heap and not be able to say anything at times.

Found this amongst my poems this year - dated 9th April -

Useless

Scared

Worthless

Than nothing

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Gambit62]

Was my mistakes - seem to have lost the plot lately. Final catalyst yesterday was losing my season ticket for work.

[Gambit62 in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

That's really bad news but so easy to do - I don't travel everyday so its a very long time since I had a season ticket - though I did manage to lose all my keys - house and everything else a couple of years ago - just before my birthday - fortunately someone had handed them in at the station - one of the best birthday presents I've ever had.

Good that you are feeling a bit better today.

It's amazing how things like this can tip us over the edge ... but they can do it to anyone.

[gardengnome]

guess the family christening had quite an effect!!!

Hope the wolf slowly stalks away.

Know that on a ''deep-down'' day those carefully planned self-help stratergies are difficult to use---to put in mildly...

Is it time to bring out your 'emergency' plan' a call to understanding friends or even someone like the samaritans,

[Photogeek]

Hi Will what's going on ? you seem to be experiencing very hopeless thoughts Why

Was today so bad? Did anything happen or is it how you feel ? You really need to talk to your Dr. As things seem to be

Going wrong, if your not coping with work and family it's a sign that you are ill

Don't beat yourself up or feel any guilt

Just go the Doctor before things escalate

Big Hugs

Hannah

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Photogeek]

It was a specific thing - I lost my season ticket for work.

[Suzie40]

I said I'd log in and glad I did! Enough of this wolf! Horrible, furry things they are. And they have shifty eyes. Did you know that in order for a wolf cub to urinate, its mother has to massage its belly with her warm tongue?

I want to ask how you are, just to see if your answer makes me smile, but I'm thinking that would be for my gain and not yours. And that would be selfish, seeing as this is your thread and not mine.

Keep your chin up, you know it passes sooner or later. And you know where I am if you want to chat x

[Jamie186 in reply to Suzie40]

With out trying to make light of all the down problems, an Idea came to me after reading Lucy34 comment,, I'm having problems weeing, does she know a suitable wolf, who'd like to practise on me.

Remember laughter is one of the best cures available for lots of ailments.

Best wishes

Jamie

[Hidden]

You are NOT worthless and hopeless. You are a very strong person and an invaluable member of this forum. It is just the depression talking. I think this time of the year is the pits and definitely makes the mood lower - freezing cold, grey, dark and miserable. Everything seems better when the sun is shining!

I grew up in the Southern Hemisphere with year round sunshine which I think is why it is that about October time each year without fail that my mood plummets and I sink deeper and deeper into depression until the Spring. So, I got myself one of those sun lamps - I switch it on for about half an hour in the morning when I'm on my laptop. It seems to work.

Hope you feel better soon.

[ThemysciraDrive in reply to Hidden]

Thanks ziggy. I do get a bit seasonally affected - but the reverse way to most people. Cold, miserable and dark generally does wonders for me!

It's a specific bunch of things culminating yesterday that tipped me over. Bit better - or at least more constructive - today.

[Hidden in reply to ThemysciraDrive]

That's good to hear!

[coatpin]

Its time to see the gp again, the big bad wolf is getting stronger. So either you need more meds, to increase the dose or you need to change them. But how your feeling is an indication how ill you have become. This is you, is it?? Normally it dont feel like this when your well.

good luck and get to the gp asap... as try a seasonal effective disorder lamp, this can make depression worse when the clocks go back. Anything is worth a try!!