Am I wrong to be offended by someone who regards my anxiety as me making a fuss.

[Golfer15]

I hate being late and not arriving early enough to meetings so I can get prepared. Last night I was running late for various reasons and I was due at a meeting. I was getting anxious and started getting cross. I was told I was just making a fuss and was told to calm down.

I have suffered with anxiety for many years and I can usually cope with this but just occasionally like last night everything gets too much and I get cross. I dont expect special treatment but just a little patience and understanding of my condition would be nice. Not to be told I am making a fuss and need to calm down. This reaction from people is because they dont really understand what is going on in our heads. I got into a state last night where I felt like I couldnt breathe. My chest became tight and I really didnt know what to do. Has anyone else experienced this?

I get anxious every morning when I go to work. When I get there Im sweating and shaking. Good job I walk to work as I couldnt drive like this.. I usually calm down in about half an hour after I sit down and do something quiet. Not always easy as I work in primary school as a teaching assistant. The children help my self esteem though when they say how much they enjoy the work I do with them.

I just have to take every day at a time. I just hate this anxiety over everything would go away. Does anyone have any advice?

[Gambit62]

The chest being tight, the confusion and the feeling as if you can't breathe sounds like a classic panic attack. I think when you are really stressed your brain goes somewhere else entirely - it escapes the situation even though you can't ... and it feels as if you have forgotten how to breath. The only thing you can do is get away from the immediate situation and remind yourself to breathe. You got through it which is the important thing.

When I last had a panic attack like that - in the middle of a meeting I just got up - apologised that I had to leave, went outside and reminded myself to breathe. I went back in to the office a few minutes later - explained to my line manager - and then sat down and did something that required some concentration but not a lot of original thought just to 'take my mind off things'. I find puzzles are really good at helping me calm down when I have an attack like that.

Do you have an i-pod and some music that you could use to help?

General anxiety is really difficult - I get attacks that are related to changes in hormone levels - not nice - and people really don't understand that it isn't actually something specific but I just feel scared of nothing - it's horrible ... but at least having realised that it's general anxiety means that I don't compound it by driving myself crazy trying to figure out why I feel that way

Other people can be quite insensitive - at the tend of the day that is really their problem though it is really difficult to be on the receiving end. Sometimes I get really wound up by people telling me to go home at work when I'm actually rushing to get to a stopping point so I can go ... and usually up against matching leaving time to a train timetable - the interruption really doesn't go well.

I think you either have to shrug it off (their problem, don't let it become yours) or else, if it was someone you care about, explain to them how the remark has made you feel and may be explain to them what would have been a supportive thing to do/say.

I can't really help with the anxiety going away - though I can say that knowing it's general rather than specific is a huge thumbs up in your corner ... just don't let your brain fool you into trying to find something to project it on to.

[SOSPLEASE]

You needn't be offended, it is their perception, not yours and therefore not your issue. The point is do you feel your making a fuss? If so how can you help yourself in this situation? Everyone gets overheated and stressed, even people without anxiety problems...and people get cross too...it's human. ..I would try and not take such a comment to heart.....even when it feels bad, cause that's my reaction to it and its my decision to try and let it go...or at least try good luck

[coatpin]

Hi yes, I think a few lessons on breathing, and concentrating on the positive role you have on society. Its your need to be liked,, through the hat away and say over and over again, I dont give a toss what people think of me!!! when they pay my rent my living costs thats when they can have thier say!!! Im important!!!!

Anxiety, imagine it as a wall, and its stopping you enjoying things. Take a breath, and then with a straw or make your lips small blow that dam distructive anxiety away. Saying go away, I dont need you today. book yourself into some counselling and learn tecks about relaxation and breathing and self hypnosis.

Your addhorble your lovely tell yourself , these kids love me, they enjoy what I give them, why the hell am I anxious!!! get angry with yourself. Tell yourself I have no time for this anxiety, it stops me doing what I enjoy!!! When you feel it creeping up do the breathing.

Its all about how you see yourself, vunerable, weak, ect all negative stuff.

Tell yourself you have no time for this,, and that you ARE going to enjoy your life!!

congnitive behaviour therapy , might help, as well, but counselling as to why you feel so .,,,,

But since doing this mind frame, my anxiousness have gone away, I have less attacks, and its under MY control,,, I hope this helps

[Hidden]

Hi

I felt quite angry at reading that other people tell you that you are just making a fuss! Being on time is important to you and so being late will matter and of course make you anxious as you are not meeting the standards you feel are important. It may be that the anxiety you feel is due to your having been set high standards in the past, perhaps by a parent, and fearing you might be unable to meet them. Whatever the reasons, you do not have to justify your own standards and reactions to not meeting them to anyone else. We all have our funny ways and things that seem irrational to other people. That isn't a condition - it is NORMAL. The tendency is for those of us who are depressed to measure ourselves against some ideal and fail to meet it, but do try to be kinder to yourself - and also to others. They do not understand and probably never will but that does not mean you are wrong, so perhaps you need to learn to feel a sense of inner calm and humour about your anxiety, telling other people that whilst you know it is not important to them it IS important to you.

Suexx

[Golfer15]

Thanks for this. You are very astute as I think most of my anxiety issues, especially the time one, relate to my father. I love him very much but he has always been quite strict and regimental. He does have military background but he was a traditinal school master for many years. He is very controlling, even now with me at 48 married with two kids. We do make a joke about my anxiety as you suggested as my teenage boys hear me saying what my dad would say.

I find inner calm at times, when I go to the gym, as I am doing soon, or when I listen to music. I wish this anxiety would go away for ever. I know most of it is normal but it is me who gets so worked up all the time with this.

Oh well I just have to live with it. I dont feel like that all the time.