Coping stategies

[Golfer15]

Thanks for your help everybody. Ive had a good week. I took the advice to make some structure and I planned my activities which helped. I went to the gym twice (including this morning), went on a bike ride, bought a new suit for a wedding we are going to on Saturday and even did a job yesterday Ive been putting off for ages, staining my garden shed. It just proves that we can fight this cloud of depression and I find that Im getting more good days than bad at the moment.

Take it one day or week at a time. Good to no support is out there.

Im away on holiday next week (rather visiting family which can be stressful) so I will try to plan the week there.

[Suzie40]

Visiting family is hugely stressful! If you can manage that you know you're doing well! Good luck x

[Gambit62]

You are welcome to come and stain my fence any time you want to if you feel you want to keep your hand in

Glad that you are feeling better.

Know I find staying with family really stressful - even driving my mother somewhere is quite stressful ... my aunt told me to go in and check on some of her medication because she is taking statins but also regularly eating grapefruit which is not recommended in general but I just wanted to get back home and forgot. Never mind. will have to do it another day - not that she'd listen to me. Think for me the most stressful thing about family is that my life-style is very different from theirs - my brother lives in London and likes all the social life - I live in a sleepy town and like to spend as much time as I can out with nature. Yes I enjoy the odd good meal and occasional change but really not a London person and I'd be happier cuddling the cats and curling up with a book ... Like to see my niece but there again she has the things that she likes doing and they aren't necessarily the things I like doing. Really good to get home at the end of it. Hope planning things out a bit in advance helps.

Good luck

[Golfer15 in reply to Gambit62]

Thanks for your encouragement. I know what you mean about visiting family just for a short time is stressful as we are going to my parents for tea and I am not looking forward to that. We were invited to see some friends yesterday afternoon. At least it was on the beach which is neutral but was still difficult. I too would be happy to be on my own or just with my wife and enjoy the outdoors. We live on the Isle Of Wight. I think the life of the recluse is attractive. My wife works full time and I work part time hours for health reasons. Im quite happy with that but I think other people dont understand.

Why do we care what other people think?

[Gambit62 in reply to Golfer15]

We work to live not the other way round. I'm not full time either - 4 days a week - though sometimes I end up putting in a full week in terms of hours but sometimes that gets too tiring ... and at others I wouldn't be able to do it without having the breathing space.

Do you like living on an island? I live about as far from the sea as you can get in the UK. Like flat country side with the odd hill.

I think it's probably more that we don't want to make other people feel uncomfortable than really caring what they think.

[pjNUN in reply to Golfer15]

You are right, we shouldn't care what other people think. It is, I think, one of the most difficult areas to explore within ourselves. I suppose it's naturally human to want to be liked but why, I can't think. Maybe it's a natural survival mechanism.

[Jeffju]

Really pleased that things are so positive for you at the moment, great news. I think it's all about keeping busy and then trying to relax, without intrusive thoughts, afterwards. The intrusive thoughts are the hard thing. I am truly amazed at how long it seems people have to wait for counselling and mental health services in the UK . If you need counselling you want it now NOT in 8 months time. I am thankful that I live in NZ where access to mental health services seems to be easier and quicker. Have a great holiday and keep one thought in mind ........ ' You can choose your friends but not your family' ..... and just love them for who they are. All the very best. xx

[Golfer15 in reply to Jeffju]

Thanks for this.

[pjNUN]

Hi golfer15, Thank you for your welcome feedback. Yes I think you are right in what you are saying. Taking one day at a time and doing things, especially the things we enjoy the most will yield more good days than bad.