I have spent my whole (short) life looking for something more, I convinced myself that if I had the right grades/college/university/car/phones/apartments/partners I would feel so much better.
I'm 21, I've almost finished university, I've secured a job that my peers dream of, I have everything I want in the material sense - even to excess, I am healthy/fit, I eat well, people find me attractive - but I feel desperately unhappy with my life, as if I want something more that is just out of reach, but I cannot say what!
Almost nobody has any idea how I feel, and the very few people have confided in - even modestly - have just stared at me as if I was an idiot with no sympathy.
My doctor prescribed me several different types of medication a few months ago, and lectured me about a healthy lifestyle and getting out in natural light more. In response, amongst other things, I even spent a month in spain and didn't feel notably better.
Is there anything I can do? Shall I give my achievements up and try again somewhere else? If so, will the same happen again? I am so unsure.
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Livboy
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7 Replies
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Hi,
You say,
I have spent my whole (short) life looking for something more,
I say
your looking in the wrong direction, look inside yourself, want less, desire less, and everything just comes to you.
You say
Shall I give my achievements up and try again somewhere else?
Dont decide till you are in a better place, inside yourself. Its all the same out there, the grass is never greener, its just grass.
If that sounds like total shite, please disregard it.
hi Livboy, you sound like you've worked hard to be where you are and have a lot to be proud of when you write :-
"I'm 21, I've almost finished university, I've secured a job that my peers dream of, I have everything I want in the material sense - even to excess, I am healthy/fit, I eat well, people find me attractive "
can I ask - can you see the positives in all this, or do you feel you don't deserve it?
often depression can leave us feelings of low self-esteem, with the constant need to find a perfect solution when "all will be right" it can stop us feeling good about ourselves.
please take up your job and see how it goes.
talk to your gp about how you feel, if you don't think he is taking you seriously, try and see another in your practice.
do they have counsellors at uni or a tutor you trust? I will look out a list of helplines for you to consider calling - young minds is one that I'm thinking is particularly helpful to uni students.
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Hi Livboy, Sandra99b gave great advice and help, nice that others care, right? I just joined on here today as i've not been coping well with everyday life (again) and need advice/support from others feeling same. I think you should be extremly proud of yourself for all YOUR achievements, but if your feeling unfullfilled (if thats a word) then i would advise something else like spiritual inlooks Eg, Aura cleansing, detoxing, meditation, past life regression, spiritual retreat etc. I've always wanted to pursue these things in my life but never have. Maybe also try to be more open to your close family/friends and get more interested in their lifes. Its the advice I'd give myself but dont take, so i understand if you think its crap. Try to think what would make you happy and focus on that. I'm not great at advice. By the way spiritual means 'our living soul' not jesus stuff., but you can relate the 2 if you are chrisitan. Take care and dont forget you've done a fantastic job of getting to where you are! Best of luck x
what else do you feel besides feeling unhappy? Giving up your achievements will bring u happiness? I do not think so. So giving up your achievements may not be the solution. It may add to unhappiness. I would like to know what medicines your doctor gave you? waiting ur response.
I'm sorry you've been feeling such despair. It just goes to show that people's lives can look so perfect on the outside, but you never really know.
There may be an underlying reason behind it - may have upsetting memories from your younger years and now things are going well, it's finally 'safe' to let your grief in.
Or you may feel like you don't deserve you're good fortune. Maybe it goes deeper than that, thinking about it, there's a lot of things we can feel sad about. You may be experiencing indirect sadness at others people problems in life...and questioning why - if it could go so wrong for another person, why it's gone so right for you. We all experience grief at some point in our lives, without realising it. You can't be expected to feel happy all of the time. Try to remind yourself that life has many things that can't be explained. Some people are luckier than others, we don't know why that is. But if you have worked hard for what you want to do than, objectively speaking, there's reason why you shouldn't deserve it. You can't save the world, so you shouldn't spend you're time dwelling on it or feeling bad about it. (Maybe if you set yourself a target to do at least one random act of kindness every couple of days, you'll feel better because at least you're making some kind of difference - every act of kindness, however small, is never wasted There's no harm in giving it a try). Anyway, I'm sure the job you're entering into is going to have a positive impact on society.
All of this is notwithstanding the fact that you are leaving University soon, you're entering a new phrase in your life. Any big change in our life, however much you look forward to it, can still cause stress and grief. (This is what people are talking about when someone women become depressed after they've had a baby, obviously, a lot has to do with the hormone imbalance, but it's partly emotional as well).
You will undoubtedly experience some kind of grief at leaving your past behind you. But like any normal loss, this difficult time should pass and you will be able to look back on your Uni days with a smile on your face. You will be learning to adapt to a new way of life and it sounds like you have a good future to look forward to. Ok, so maybe you don't know exactly what you want from life yet, but you'll find it. Just see how things go and it'll come to you I'm sure.
I don't have all the others but - have to maybe thought about getting in touch with a counsellor, they do services at most universities don't they? They may be able to give you some insight into your emotions. As they say, understanding is half the battle.
Last of all I just want to remind you that you're not alone. Many, healthy, intelligent, and well of individuals suffer from depression (and depression is affecting an increasing number of young people these days. Lots of people feel guilt if they have depression and blame themselves for feeling such a way when they're lives are going well - leading them further into the spiral. But it's not their fault, and it's not yours either. Depression is a physiological as well as psychological thing and sometimes, it does occur for no reason.) Also, remember the numbers of celebrities who get it and they live life styles most people would only dream of.
I know I haven't written this as coherently as I could have done but still, I hope this helps. And I'll let you know I think of anything. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
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There's no harm in giving it a try). Anyway, I'm sure the job you're entering into is going to have a positive impact on society. 
I am so confused about everything. 
Don't know what to do!
Life is strange, so I don't know.
I don't really know why
Would you say I am depressed?
