Loss of Libido

[nheather]

Appreciate some advice because I've tried repeatedly with my GP and the NHS and feel I am not getting my message across.

Longish story so bear with me.

About 3 1/2 years ago I noticed that my frenulum was short, and that fully retracting my foreskin was a little painful. Now this was strange in itself because it is not something that I noticed creeping up, it just seemed one day it was fine and the following day it was too short.

I put up with it for a while, trying to stretch it myself, but after a couple of months I saw my GP, and then quickly after that the urology department, and soon after that a Frenuloplasty (z-cut) had been arranged to lengthen the frenulum.

The Frenuloplasty was done under local (which was a little bit squeamish) and then I went through the recommended six weeks recovery time.

Soon after I discovered two things

1) The Frenuloplasty hadn't worked, it was just as short but probably worse because it was less flexible scar tissue

2) My sex drive had disappeared

Right up to the day before the operation, I had a normal sex drive. I got aroused easily, solid erections, stimulation felt nice, orgasms very nice and forceful, plenty of spurting ejaculate.

After the operation, arousal and erections were more difficult, stimulation felt distant, orgasms felt ruined, not satisfying, and ejaculate delayed and much less. What I mean is that I can have the orgasm and then watch for a few seconds and a small amount would dribble out. Sometimes it will just be a bead, almost gel-like.

I have spoken to different GPs several times and have a range of answers from "this sort of thing happens when you get older" or "here have some Viagra".

None of them want to take on board that it was a step change - everything fine before the Frenuloplasty and multiple symptoms afterwards - that doesn't feel like getting old.

And Viagra isn't the answer. I can get erections without it, but not as easy as before, but that doesn't help the remote feeling, the loss of pleasure and the delayed minimal ejaculation.

Eventually I wondered whether it was done to the frenulum still being short so back to the GP who sent me back to urology who said that they could retry the Z-Cut or a circumcision.

I elected for a Z-Cut but on the day the consultant looked at it and said that given the amount of scarring already present it was unlikely to work and that a circumcision was the only likely remedy.

That was done, a bit of a mess, heavier scarring then I should have had and cut really close to the glans so it looks a bit weird.

Anyway, been to see the GP again today, just got "this sort of thing happens when you get old" (I'm 53) and then gave me some Beta Blockers to take in conjunction with the Viagra to see if that helps.

I don't feel that anyone at the NHS is listening to me, so I'm posting here

1) Anyone seen anything like this before

2) What are the possible causes

3) Could the Frenuloplasty have done physical damage to cause all of those symptoms

4) Could it be psychological

5) And most importantly are there any remedies

Cheers,

Nigel

[6big]

Hi nheather

This sounds all to familiar to me i had my 1st Circ in Jan for Balinitis when Urologist 1 only did what i believe was a sleeve section which left my Glans still 3 parts covered on review with a different Urologist at 7 weeks and a letter from the Doc why so much foreskin had been left he said he wanted to do a revision Circ when he would do a full Circumcision i like yourself before any of this used to have rock hard erections and since can just about get hard enough to have sex i am convinced to that it has now been cut to short as i dont Grow as much as i did but it does seem thicker i to was given Viagra when i mentioned the ED to the Urologist at my last visit but not happy taking them i put it down to the trauma my cock has gone through having to be cut twice and if i could turn the clock back to Jan would put up with the Balinitis every cple mths compared to what i have now

Dave

[nheather in reply to 6big]

My real problems happened after the Frenuloplasty which (in theory) is a minor operation (evident that mine was done under local anaesthetic). The symptoms after that I have experienced since are massive and it is difficult to see how they can be related to a small scapel cut but I can't get past the step change - fine before, totally messed up afterwards.

The circumcision was a secondary thing - I was hoping it would resolve the symptoms but it has made no change.

A secondary issue is that I am not happy how the circumcision was done. It was cut to close to the head leaving me with a partial foreskin that looks a bit stupid. The stiches also started to come apart the following day - I saw the nurse and GP at my local practice who urged me to go back to the hospital immediately. I did this and saw the registrar but it was just brushed off as not a problem. As a result my scarring is much more prominent then it should be.

When I raise my concerns with the consultant I get two stock answers (1) you need to leave it 18 months to see the full healing and (2) the NHS provides corrective not cosmetic surgery - in other words, how it looks at the end is irrelevent.

My recommendation to all is if you must have such surgery then get it done privately. I found the NHS did not afford me any time to explain what would happen, what were my options were, what the risks were, wha theen result would look like.

I appreciate that urology departments are going to vary but I would honestly advise people to stay well clear of my local one.

If I only turn back time.

Cheers,

Nigel

[6big in reply to nheather]

Again Nigel

Exactly the same the 1st Urologist cut so close to the Glands that when i got a infection at 7 days which opened up the scar line and caused it to heal in unsightly lumps the 2nd guy was unable to remove it when he did the revision circ so i to am left with a far from acceptable never mind cosmetic look and am just being told to give it time which i know is going to make no difference seeing as it hasn't in the last 6mths

Dave

[nheather in reply to nheather]

But for me the circucumcision is a secondary thing - sure they have not done a great job in my opinion but generally it hasn't made the underlying problem any worse.

My primary concern is the loss of libido (if that is the correct word). I don't really buy the "you are getting old" explanation, because (a) I'm not that old (just under 50 when it happened) and (b) it didn't come on gradually, just massive malfunction as if someone had flicked a switch.

I'd really like to understand the 'loss of libido' in parictular anything that can be done to restore or improve it.

Cheers,

Nigel

[Hidden]

It's a specific case. Well aging of course will reduce your sperm and feelings, loss of libido etc. Frenuloplasty perhaps have no relation . Once circumcision done,even if it looks weird , the important point is whether your partner gets pleasure during gliding of the skin. You may try oral sex, which may give you a heightened pleasure. May be medicines like tadalafil also works. Ask your GP. 53 is not very senior. At least few more years you may ...........

[nheather in reply to Hidden]

Thanks diptasu - I appreciate your response, it is what I get from the medical staff.

But it leaves me unconvinced, that age is just being used as an excuse, that people aren't listening to the question. So putting it bluntly

A man is 49

On Tuesday is libido is like this

Gets aroused easily

Stimulation is pleasurable

Erections are easy to achieve and maintain

Orgasms are ecstatic and forceful

Ejaculation coincides with orgasm, is spurty and with plenty of the ejaculate

The following day

Does not get aroused easily

Stimulation feel distant

Erections are harder to achieve and maintain

Orgasms feel ruined, anti-climatic

Ejaculation delayed a few seconds after orgasm, dribbles and with small amount of ejaculate

Can you REALLY put a step change down to age????

Cheers,

Nigel

[6big in reply to Hidden]

Nheather is not alone in this i have exactly the same problems since having been Circumcised in Jan absolutely no problems beforehand but all the same now so i very interested in any constructive comments to his questions

6big

[Hidden in reply to 6big]

According to my knowledge from ancient times some religions made circumcision compulsory for enhancement of pleasure, facilitate cleaning and avoiding cancerous diseases. Even I had circumcision to avoid smegmatis arising out of diabetes but never felt any dearth on libido upto 58 years age. So I can't concur. Possibly loss of libido is psychological .It all depends on the desire of partner and foreplay helps erection (which is based on blood circulation, where having or not having the skin has no role).

[6big in reply to Hidden]

Crap my friend

I still love my partner of many years and our sex life has definitely been affected by the Circumcision not lack of lust or anything else

As nheather says this happened overnight and as a result of the Circumcision not gradually as a lack of interest

[nheather in reply to Hidden]

@diptasu - What the hell are you on?

Did you bother to read anything I posted?

I never attributed the loss of libido to the circumcision. I said that it happened immediately after the Frenuloplasty.

"It's old age", "it's psychological" make up your mind - but I'm not convinced by either of them.

So just to be clear .....

Immediately before the Frenuloplasty my libido was fine and everything functioned as expected

Immediately after the Frenuloplasty my libido is low and there are a whole set of emotional and physical things not working properly.

The Frenuloplasty was done 3 years ago, I was 49 years old at the time - the problems started immediately afterwards and still persist today.

Cheers,

Nigel

[Hidden]

If it happens on alternate day I don't think it as a problem

[nheather in reply to Hidden]

Not sure that was a joke or you misunderstood.

What I mean, is that one day everything is working very well and then from the following day after and indefinitely massive change.

Would a doctor accept this - I don't think so but he expects his patients to accept similar .....

A doctor has a prized vintage car. He looks after it and it is in great working order. One day the alternator develops a problem so he takes it into a specialist diagnostics and repair centre. The alternator is repaired, it is delivered to his house. When he tries it he finds that the alternator is now working, but the lights only come on dimly, the air-conditioning doesn't work. The engine is difficult to start, when it runs it has lost power and it stalls a lot. The brakes now judder. All of these things were fine before he had the work done on the alternator. It's hard to believe that the alternator has caused all of these problems but at the same time it is hard to ignore the fact that they were all fine before he had the work done.

So he goes back to the specialist, who says "well the car is quite old, these things happen, it is just a age thing" and dismisses the subject.

Would the doctor stand for that, would he accept just a glib fob off.

Cheers,

Nigel

[Hidden]

I think a big part of this may be psychological. I'm not trying to minimise your feelings at all in saying this, but maybe the procedure of having bits of your manhood 'trimmed off' under a local anaesthetic in in the presence of a medical team has left some mental scars too? I only suggest this as I had the same feeling after my vasectomy in regards to loss of libido, dripping and delayed ejaculate (consistency of wallpaper paste at first! ) and loss of automatic morning erections. I was 48 when it happened. Likewise the medical profession showed no interest or even little empathy. However when I stopped obsessing about it gradually things did return to near normal. Easy erections, and better ejaculations ( albeit a little reduced in quantity and force). I would say don't panic, try to be patient and take things gradually, and I think things will improve. My advice would be to not ask the medical professionals for help - they are great at chopping bits off but teflon-coated and in permanent denial of any consequences. I hope this helps.

[nheather in reply to Hidden]

Hidden - I could believe some of that but I must admit that I struggle to be convinced.

Leading up to the Frenuloplasty, I had the tight Frenulum but my libido was very active. I would get aroused easily and sex was very pleasurable, just a little painful at times because of the tight frenulum.

After the Frenuloplasty, everything changed as if a switch had been thrown.

So I might buy the Frenuloplasty thing apart from

1) although the Frenuloplasty didn't work, it just meant that I was left with a tight frenulum just as before

2) I don't think the outcome of the Frenuloplasty bothered me - in my mind it was 'no better, no worse'

3) The Frenuloplasty was 3 years ago, the follow up circumcision 6 months ago. I don't believe that I would have carried a psychological condition for so long.

Cheers,

Nigel

[Hidden]

Could be some nerve problem . But the pleasure takes place in brain, not in penis . I do not have idea on frenuloplasty , but I think it's like circumcision only . Ask your urologist . Take medicines as may be required . But mind has a role I believe. How old are you ? Take care.

[Hidden]

I'm just sharing my experiences . Even the surgeon while cutting the foreskin said that I can have a better pleasure after taking off the prepuce . Each individual case can be different. This is a forum to discuss only . Consult your doctor as required .

[nheather]

Hidden

Thanks for the reply. That sounds reassuring to a degree, in that it may not be something actually physically broken and it maybe reversible.

I didn't think I was too bothered about the failed Frenuloplasty but did wonder whether the slight painful stretching when erect was making my body try to avoid those situations. That is why I agreed to the circumcision hoping it would rid me of the slight pain. Unfortunately, the curcumcision has not been done well, resulting in more and regular discomfort than I had previously and in addition the scarring is not pretty.

So I fear that this is just increasing my anxiety, not removing it.

Must admit I struggle to comprehend psychological problems. I can imagine how they could impact the emotional side, the arousal for example, but can they really do things like delay the ejaculation, reduce its force and reduce the ejaculate to almost nothing.

Cheers,

Nigel

[jaglad]

Hi, Interesting to read the comments. Since recovering from my circumcision some seven or eight months ago I have no reduction in desire but I now find sex is not as satisfying. Which can be a little depressing at times.

My wife is reluctant to touch me, as in the early days, post-op it was Very painful, and she does not want to hurt me. Comments which suggest oral sex may be more satisfying are fine provided you have a willing partner ! There have been suggestions that lubrication can help, yes it does, but it can also have a negative effect with regard to sensitivity. My advice ? Don't give up, try different methods get your partner involved. Keep us informed. Good luck.

[Qfellow]

Can u make an updated post with a pic of your situation?