I have a very severe and unusual premature ejaculation.

[Overino]

Hello everyone,

I’m struggling with a severe case of premature ejaculation and would appreciate any advice or insights you might have.

To give you some context, I ejaculate very quickly when masturbating, typically between 10 and 30 seconds. I believe this is largely due to hypersensitivity in my penis. I’ve always experienced this, as far back as I can remember.

I also tend to feel the urge to urinate very frequently, even when it’s just a small amount. For reference, I am circumcised. I suspect there could be a nervous system issue involved, but I’m not sure how to confirm this or what steps to take. When I masturbate, I feel an overwhelming amount of sensation in the glans, which makes it nearly impossible to last.

Something I’ve wondered about is whether my habits as a teenager might have contributed to this. Back then, I would often masturbate by dry humping while fully clothed because I didn’t want to get caught. I know this sounds awkward, but I’m concerned it might have caused nerve damage or made my sensitivity worse.

I’ve read about using lidocaine creams to desensitize the area, but considering how quickly I ejaculate, I feel like this wouldn’t be enough to achieve a significant improvement. Also, I hope there’s a better long-term solution.

Currently, I don’t have a partner, and this problem is one of the reasons why I don’t feel confident pursuing a relationship. I feel like no woman would accept me with this issue.

I was prescribed escitalopram for depression, and I later learned that it’s sometimes used to treat premature ejaculation. Unfortunately, it hasn’t made any difference for me in this regard. However, I’ve noticed that when I’m intoxicated with alcohol, I can last a bit longer (around a minute), likely because it numbs the sensations.

Given the severity of my condition, I think there could be multiple contributing factors:

-Psychological causes (difficulty managing emotions, anxiety, etc.)

-Possible hormonal issues like low testosterone

-A pattern of quick ejaculation that I might have “trained” myself into since my teenage years

-The overwhelming physical sensitivity in my penis (I think this is the "best contributor"

I’ve tried looking online for others with similar experiences, but most cases I’ve come across seem much less severe and don’t involve issues with masturbation alone.

This issue has been deeply affecting my mental health. I know it might sound extreme, but I’ve even considered ending my life over this. The thought of never being able to have a normal sexual relationship makes me feel like I’m doomed to be alone forever, and I can’t imagine living like this indefinitely.

If anyone has any ideas about what might be causing this or how I could address it, I would be incredibly grateful. Finding a solution would be life-changing for me.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Norwich1 Moderator]

Have you consulted a medical health professional about your problem? Perhaps you need to see a doctor who specialises in sexual health matters

[Overino in reply to Norwich1]

I have an apointment with an urologist in 1 month and a half. But idk if he will be able to say what's going on. I fear that he will just prescribe lidocaine. I heard that there is something called "Selective neurectomy of the dorsal penile nerves", but idk if this could be efficient or if I could get it.

[Norwich1 Moderator in reply to Overino]

All questions for your urologist. He may suggest therapy if he/she feels that mental health issues are playing a part in your health issues generally.

[Omniscient1]

Firstly, on the woman thing, there's one for each of us, she's out there, and there's ways of making her happy without going near your penis, this may be a huge plus point for you so don't give up on that. But on your actual problem, best to seek medical help, lidocaine may help, using a condom also, but 100% a Dr should be consulted to work out what the cause of your problem is and how best to approach it from there. Best wishes.

[Overino in reply to Omniscient1]

Im not sure at all, considering the data that all men can find a gf, especially with such an issue. I see I guess I can't escape going to a doctor.

[xsevenx]

Please don’t end your life over this.

Speak to a healthcare professional. Don’t be embarrassed.

[Overino in reply to xsevenx]

I appreciate your kindness, in any case I probably don't have what it takes to do it.

Allright I hoped I could find here some magical solution but ig I will have to see a doctor.

[Arclight1979]

Please do not do anything rash - this is clearly a significant issue for you, but not worth ending it all over. You have to see a doctor or a specialist and explain everything you need to. I agree it could be a combination of things, so you should try everything. We're all here.

[Overino in reply to Arclight1979]

Thank you for that. I will wait my apointment

[Spiral123]

get some Indian god lotion

Spray a little on the head of your penis around the frenulum area

Wait about 30/60 minutes

Then mastabate and you will find it takes you much longer to cum

Don’t use too much

[HonuHonu in reply to Spiral123]

Indian God login contains "Isopropyl Alcohol, Water, Perfume, Cnidium Fruit". None of these has any impact on penile sensitivity. If it "works", it is probably because you wish for it to work. While Cnidium has been used as a sexual medicine, there is no empirical proof that it has any impact on sexual functioning...the research shows that it has no impact. But, if it works for you, then it does.

[Spiral123 in reply to HonuHonu]

been using it for 30years including yesterday , i can assure it works for me ,

just don't use too much

[Norwich1 Moderator in reply to Spiral123]

Many medications of this type work because of the placebo effect. Spraying alcohol onto your penis is likely to dry it out

[hedgehogan]

I'm sorry to hear how deeply this issue is affecting you. It might feel like there is no hope but you are young and with the right support, things may not be as bad as you think.

But first of all, definitely consult with a GP or urologist who can assess the sensitivity in your glans and determine if there are any physical issues and can help determine the next steps. They may very well suggest lidocaine or benzocaine creams or something else that might help with the situation but this can't happen without a proper examination. While escitalopram hasn't worked for you, other medications like dapoxetine, which is specifically designed for premature ejaculation might be more effective. A discussion with your doctor could open up these options.

If you don't want to go down the medical route, some men find success in gradually increasing their tolerance to stimulation using techniques like the "stop-start" method or "squeeze" technique during masturbation. Others do kegel exercises or change how they masterbate so it may help talking to experts who may be able to help with these.

Also I can guarantee you that your issue does not prevent you from finding a partner and great relationships are more about intimacy rather than sex. There will be someone who loves you for who you are rather than based on whether you have PE

Good luck finding something that works for you

[Overino in reply to hedgehogan]

Thank you a lot for taking your time comenting this.

I hope you are right about the relationship part.

I think I will wait my appointment with the urologist and then I will be able to take a more enlightened decision.

[Astrolabe90]

Relationships are really about intimacy and building trust. An understanding partner will be interested in you - not just your penis - and they will want to develop a sexual routine that works for both of you and gives you both pleasure.

I hope you can get a clinical referral to get some reassurance. I don't know how things are where you live. If you were in the UK, I would recommend a STI clinic - they don't just deal with disease and are used to seeing people with intimate and embarrassing problems. It might be worth a try

Let us all know how you get on

[Overino in reply to Astrolabe90]

I hope it is true. In france, I had to first say to a generalist doctor what I had, whitout entering too much into details, and I asked to see an urologist, and he agreed to prescribe me an appointment with one. So I hope he is used to hear these kind of stuff.

I think relationship are not all about sex but if I am realistic I know they will rather go for a man that can satisfy them in the traditional way in most cases.

I will keep this post updated if I have found any solution with the doc

Thank you for taking your time

[HonuHonu]

Hello Mate...

Sorry to know of your problem. And of course having PE impacts your mental health. PE is real and it is upsetting. There is a fair amount known about PE in sexual health circles and there are professionals, both medical and mental health, with tools that can help. Reach out to these folks, be open and honest. They will respect your candor and they will help you without judgment. They want to help you get better. I'm a health care professional and we are trained to help without judgement and we really want people to get better. Sex and sexual health is a vital part of well-being.

Best wishes. Keep us posted.

[Overino in reply to HonuHonu]

Thank you I will go

[HonuHonu]

wonderful. Keep us posted.