So this is really embarrassing… but it’s getting to a point where I feel like enough is enough (even though I should have reached that point long ago).
I am just about to turn 20 and have never been able to pull my foreskin back. For most of my life I could hardly pull it back at all, but over the past few months I can get it back further than before. When I got it back to a certain point, there was a very big build up of smegma, which I have obviously removed, but I just am so fearful to pull it back further. I am able to pull all the way back on one side but have to hold the other side up - the other side I can hardly get down at all and the front of my penis head also. I just know that there is a smegma buildup in these areas and think its quite frankly disgusting I have left it so long.
With me it is hard to tell whether this is a mental block or if I can’t physically get it over - either way it’s tight and when i’m erect there is no chance of it going over. I suffer from very bad health anxiety and a lot of my issues comes from me being to scared to pull it over. I have managed to give my self an irrational fear that once I get it over it will be stuck and I will need to get surgery.
The whole where I urinate from has been swollen and red for as long as I remember, but is not painful. Around the rim of my penis head is all red, with like little veins and same for the stringy thing at the back of my foreskin. I also feel like, but am not certain that my penis has gone pale with a blueish tint, with some matte looking areas - which I am now convincing myself is penile cancer. The side that I can not retract of my foreskin is really painful. My penis head looks almost bumpy and sometimes looks really dry and wrinkly. I think a big issue could be how large my foreskin is…
I know the clear answer would be just go to the doctors, but the fear of what they could possibly say and the embarrassment is really stopping me. This is and has made me really really unhappy and ashamed for as long as I realised something was up and I feel like I have no one to confide in as I live with only females.
Is there any advice on how I could try to resolve this by myself or would the only option be to go to the doctors?
Thank you for reading.
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anonymous0032
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I have decided to tell my mum and go to the doctors, enough is enough. I can’t live like this no longer. I guess the embarrassment will be worth it when I am able to be healthy and hygenic. Just fingers crossed that I don’t have penile cancer due to how long I have had the swelling.
Your advice and messages would still be much appreciated!
Many of us avoided asking for help for a long time… took me till I was 50 to talk to a doctor about it!!
At one moment - all the embarrassment has gone!! A GP and a consultant has now looked at my cock and decided it’s too tight and I need help. Circumcision booked Wednesday this week… just 6 weeks after having asked the doctor!
Telling the first person is the hardest. Then you wonder what the fuss and embarrassment was about!! Go see the doc! It’s surprisingly easy once you’ve done it!! And you’ll wonder why you were so scared - at least that’s how it was for me!
Having doctor appointment is my very first advice to you, since you are 20. Everything will be fine, it is small deal and right time.
You just recalled my story of pulling back my foreskin! I was 12 or 13, and most of Asian my age did not have circumstance, so I pulled my back after watching a porn movie in my friend's house! We both did and ours both were turn "big" because of swelling. I still remember my "oh f*ck what the h*ll is that" when I saw my glans the first time. Lol.
Yeah I am 31 now, still uncut but mine is in normal to function, except for the up curve!
Go for it man. No need to be embarrassed etc, the docs have seen EVERYTHING AND WORSE thousands of times. You will feel loads better after doing it, trust me.
Hey , you have the exact condition I had is called “phimosis “To be honest I had it all my life as well I am a now about to turn 40 I just got circumsition done 4 months ago. And friend I wish I would’ve got this done at your age. I have missed out on so much .
I never wanted to get it done cause I was traumatized by the videos I saw on you tube about the surgery. I went to the doctors because my girlfriend of 10 years was tired of me not being able to retract and smelled funny at times. So I went to the doctors he said if I don’t get this done I might get cancer. So I took booked the surgery got my mind ready . And here I am .
I am finally able to see my head for the first time fully in my life , sex is amazing way way better I can’t believe I missed out on this most my life.
I am cleaner down there I feel amazing.
So bro get it done before it’s to late , you are young enjoy your life.
I felt zero pain after surgery, a little discomfort but zero pain. Good luck .
Mate, don't feel embarrassed. It took me until 1 year ago to seek help, and I am now 39. The Dr won't be embarrassed, they have seen it all before. Well done on taking the first step. I only wish I had of had it done years ago, it had such an impact on my life.
Anyone reading this, feel free to ask any questions, and I will do my best to answer them.
Most medical problems, especially dental problems, are governed by one rule. Waiting won't make them improve. Waiting won't make them go away. Talking to the thousands of people on Quora won't make them go away. You have now imagined that you have cancer. You have realized that you have smegma building up, which may be a tasty treat if someone does oral sex with you. You have realized that your foreskin is painful when it pulls back when erect. Nothing is getting better. You know the answer. Get yourself to a doctor, and all your questions will be resolved by someone who will ask just one word: "When?" Blah, Blah. Stop talking. Do what you know you need to do.
Lots of very helpful and reassuring advice here. Seriously, taking those first steps to seek advice from a doctor or consultant may be difficult, but do it! Imaging, if you will, what as a 74 year old I had to go through, to pluck up the resolve to ask for help and advice! In my case, many years of no issues, just a big foreskin. Then in recent years, dryness and lack of lube has caused issues, with my foreskin repeatedly tearing, phimosis, and infections, so last week I had a local anaesthetic procedure. I have no pain, believe it or not, just some discomfort, and only issues when I change the dressings. Tight pants, and no-one would ever know! A few erections have been challenging, but keeping hands off has no alternatives!! Not that I will discuss here!! Just know, you are not the only one, not the first, and certainly not the last to need help, advice, and action!
Hey mate, i am from india( totally conservative society) in the rural areas and there is not much available for talking on sexual organs’ healthI myself had pinhole phimosis from childhood . Never knew it was a problem untill i turned 20 and tried to have sex with my gf although it was an embarrassment because it had been unsuccessful penetration! It was the moment i knew it has to be done some day still i ignored it , went to college , didn’t make any gf because of this but I thought for how long? Atlast when i came home this summer! Gathered the courage to tell my parents( was really in depression for 2 straight days) but when i told them they were altogether supportive and took me to doc next day where he told to have circumcision! So i would just say it is a matter of overcoming ur fears, don’t worry about the beginning and the process, just think of the result and the happiness and satisfaction u would feel when u penetrate her next time!! Either u do it today or tomorrow or some day!! So why to wait ! Just do it
Congrats. You worried for years about what you would do some fateful day. Doc, who sees the exact same thing 20 times a day, looked at his calendar and said, "next Wednesday". He didn't get excited. He didn't exclaim that there was a new challenge. He could have fixed your pinhole phimosis on day one or five (??) of your life, and he had been waiting years to meet you. What did you accomplish? You worried 20 years, watch the price of the surgery go up (if your system requires payment), etc., and etc. Next time, worry about something that deserves your attention. Docs fix phimoses. You did not need to worry about the doc.
Don’t worry about being embarrassed about seeing the GP. I had a similar issue when I was younger seen the GP and when my son had the same issue. He spoke to me about it when he was 15 and I told him that The GP told me to sit in a hot bath and pull skin back underwater. We tried that with him, and yes at some point it was uncomfortable but with time and persuasion he was able to retract his foreskin fully.
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