Lichen S. / mental health

[mikeABC]

Hi all,I've been diagnosed with LS few years ago. It was rather mild so I didn't even know I had it. Just some red spots from time to time and bit dry skin on glans. Took steroid cream once and now all is pretty stable just need to apply Trimovate cream if needed. I have a small spot at frenullum which sometimes can get reddish and sensible but was told it is probably some blood veins area. It always make me feel down when it occurs. I'm under regular control by dermatologist at London hospital. They said that circumcision may be required in the future.

Now, my biggest issue is my mental state and self limiting believes around that area. I've been single for few years and recently met a nice girl which can develop into some serious relationship.

I'm really concerned that I will not be good enough, my LS will get worse or turn into more serious illness if we start having sex and I will have to end our relationship.

Also, I'm freaking out than when at some point my doctor will recommend circumcision it will for obvious reasons stop sex for a long time and this girl (or any other) will end our relationship.

Any thoughts how to handle this?

[Nowayhome2001]

I think you should focus the LS problem right now, put it on the 1st position in your life. And you should tell the truth to the girl, wether she accept it or not, life will go on.

[mikeABC in reply to Nowayhome2001]

Thanks for replying. Well I've been focusing on my LS for approx 5 years now and it's been always my priority. As I said it's under regular control and stable. It's not a codnition which can be cured within a week. It may gone or even stay forever. I guess it's more in my head as what may happen which is preventing me from taking certain steps in life.

[Grado78]

focus on you - any girl who values you will understand. LS is not really any different to any other skin condition (it’s not contagious and you don’t get it through being unclean) so ask yourself if having eczema would be a problem? Probably not! Just be open and honest when the time comes.

If it ends up in circumcision then so be it - you can’t really change that and again, any girl who you’re in a real relationship with will understand. No sex while you heal vs being healthier wouldn’t be an issue. The real world isn’t like the movies - people in relationships go without sex for periods for all sorts of reasons and it’s rarely an issue if both parties understand. In my experience it’s the men who freak out about periods of abstinence rather than the women!

Worry about today’s problem today - anything else is hypothetical and you don’t even know if it will be a problem, so shelve it until you need to worry (if you even do).

[abcdefghijk12]

Hi Mike - i’ve been through what you are going through. Had LS diagnosed before starting a new relationship. Had flare ups about 6 months into dating and the steroid cream wouldn’t resolve it. at explain it all to my girlfriend and she was totally understanding. No good person is going to break up with you because of it. We had times where we couldn’t have sex and times where we could - I just made sure I did what I could to keep her happy in that department.

Because it didn’t get better I had to be circumcised. It meant we couldn’t have sex for a couple of months - this did frustrate me and my girlfriend but she was understanding and we made it work. It’s just a skin condition and it doesn’t say or mean anything about you. A good person will support you through all of it. Don’t beat yourself up over this, it’s all going to be ok!

[mikeABC in reply to abcdefghijk12]

Hi, may I ask what kind of symptoms did you have? Did circumcision cure your LS? How was your experience with the procedure? May I ask where did you have it? I'm from the UK.

Thanks.

[mikeABC]

Grado78 and absdefghijk12 - many thanks for your responses guys! Much appreciated!

Before I found this forum I felt as I was alone with my problems. Sometimes physical illness affects our mental state and put on us self limiting believes more than we expect.

Your posts are really helpful. I'll try to live the present and not to create future hypothetical scenarios which may never happen.

Thinking about this if I were in love with somebody I would accept that she might have a condition or something and I would be happy to go through it together.

[Arclight1979]

Completely agree with all the advice here, and the right girl isn't going to hold a condition you're sorting and managing against you. If it ends up with a circumcision, it's gonna be fine. I was so worried about what would happen after I healed - convinced I wouldn't be able to perform, would disappoint my wife, etc. She was amazing, so supportive, was amazing as we tentatively started having sex again after 8 weeks, etc. The right person always puts you first, not your cock.

[mikeABC in reply to Arclight1979]

Many thanks mate! Really appreciate.

Guys, I'm going to read all your messages from time to time to stay on track