For years, I have been fighting for a better life, but every time I get close to a breakthrough, everything falls apart due to lack of money, lack of opportunity for education, and unrealistic requirements that I simply cannot meet.
I passed every stage of the police recruitment process, only to be rejected at the vetting stage—because I don’t have a job and financial stability. The irony is that I was trying to secure this job to improve my situation, but instead, my financial struggles disqualified me. I tried other routes—I wanted to do a nursing apprenticeship, but I was excluded due to maths requirements. I have always struggled with maths, and I can’t afford to spend years studying in college.
I worked as a support worker in the past and wanted to complete an NVQ qualification, but the company refused because I couldn’t do night shifts—I had a small child at the time. And this is how it’s always been—wherever I apply, I’m met with no response or rejection. There’s always something missing: qualifications, professional experience, or financial means. And without money, I can’t gain those qualifications.
On top of everything, my childhood was traumatic due to my father and other people, and it has left scars that still affect me today. My mother is elderly, and I want to support her, but without a job or financial stability, I can’t even help the one person who has always been there for me.
I feel exhausted from this struggle, as if I’m running in circles with no way out. I thought that with time, things would improve, that I would find my path, but how many times can you keep hitting a brick wall? Even when I find the strength to keep going, the system reminds me that I don’t have the resources or opportunities to move forward.
No one has ever given me a chance in my life. No one has ever extended a helping hand. Everyone just ignores me, and I have no support from anyone when it comes to my career. I am completely on my own.
Warehouse work is not an option—I’m not 20 anymore, and I know I would not cope in that environment. I don’t have a driving licence because I can’t afford it. My lack of money keeps me trapped, preventing me from accessing the education and opportunities I desperately need.
To make matters worse, there are simply no opportunities in Bedford. The job market here is terrible, and businesses are shutting down left and right. Even my own business failed because there is no stability in this town. I would be willing to look for work elsewhere, but I can’t afford to commute long distances, so I am stuck with whatever limited options exist here—which are practically none.
I would love to go to college full-time and study something new, but I can’t, because bills need to be paid. The best option for me would be an apprenticeship, where I could learn new skills while earning an income, but in most cases, maths qualifications are required. I could train in professional cooking or early years education, but from what I’ve seen so far, opportunities for this in Bedford are non-existent. This town is completely dead when it comes to prospects—Deadford.
After being rejected in the police vetting process, my depression has worsened to the point where I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I feel like a burden to my partner—he would be better off without someone as useless as me. I am sick of this life. I am angry that everything is so unfair and that my entire existence is dictated by lack of money, lack of education, and lack of prospects.
Wherever I apply, I’m met with rejection—either due to missing qualifications, lack of specific experience, or financial constraints. It’s a never-ending cycle.
I just want the chance to grow, to learn, to build a stable future. But financial struggles and my poor maths skills have blocked every single path I have tried to take.
I know I’m not the only one in this situation, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I am drained. I don’t know what else to do. How can you break free from this cycle when everything revolves around money and access to education, which I simply don’t have?
Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to find a way out? Any advice would mean a lot.
torture and darkness
Treatment resistant depression 
I was adopted at birth ,35 years later and I don’t know if i should contact my birth mother 
severely depressed can’t get out
