Scared

[Rufus07]

my being the way I am, with all my issues, is really taken a toll on my relationship with my partner. I’m scared he just can’t do it anymore. I don’t go anywhere with him because of my anxiety. He doesn’t even ask if I want to do anything anymore because he knows what the answer is 99% of the time. He told me he’s just going to do him and I can wither away in my dark bedroom. It sounds cruel, but it’s true. That’s what I do. I just can’t get myself to do anything.for the past few years, I’ve lost interest in everything I use to like doing.

[Amiwrong]

Hello. I am 50yo and I feel as you do. My depression is worse than it’s ever been. My current partner of 8 years probably didn’t know what he was getting into lol. It’s been very challenging on many levels to maintain a relationship. He too has stopped asking me to go out much of the time. On occasion he will convince me to go out to a movie. I guess I wanted you to know that you are in the same boat with many others. Sometimes I think we wish our partners could help us in some way, at least that way we wouldn’t feel like they don’t care. It’s all so very confusing especially so since menopause. My mind just doesn’t work in a clear way.

[Rufus07 in reply to Amiwrong]

Let’s not even go down that menopause road!!lol

Thank you for your reply. It’s good to know I’m not alone.

[Amiwrong in reply to Rufus07]

Oh I would love to open the menopause bag trickeries lol. It’s is so underrated when it comes to understanding mental health.

I hope you are doing well today.

[Rufus07 in reply to Amiwrong]

not too bad! Rather blah! As hard as it was, I did get off the couch and do the dishes 🙂. I wish you well too.

[Amiwrong]

Yesterday wasn’t so good because I had a terrible argument with my partner (my dysregulation and his lack of awareness of his really made it fun) , but had a decent day today. When I take my stimulants it helps with my depression a lot. Not overall, but for hours at a time.

And you did dishes! That’s really great! Do you have a goal for tomorrow? If not, that’s ok too

[Rufus07 in reply to Amiwrong]

Vacuuming and mop floor are the goals for today. Since I didn’t get out of bed till 230pm, that hasn’t happened yet, if at all. I’m just drinking coffee and watching my squirrels eat the peanuts I give them lol. I’m the squirrel 🐿️ lady, not the cat lady lol! I have a sanctuary in my front yard!

Im sorry your day wasn’t so good yesterday. And I’m happy today is better!

[Amiwrong]

My gosh that’s so cute! So glad you have the squirrels to keep your mind busy and light. My floors need mopping too, alas another day and the floors continue to wait, oh well, we will wear shoes inside until it happens

[Rufus07 in reply to Amiwrong]

No chores got done today but I did sit on the deck and got some fresh air!

[Amiwrong]

yes! Some of that natural vitamin D - this was a good day