So I’ve been married for ten years, two years together beforehand, and “lately” (the past nine years just before our son was born, but more severely lately) I’ve been feeling harshly neglected.
I hit a boiling point today and lashed out, caused a big fight and I left the house as she went out to get dinner.
I find myself sitting in this secluded little nature area about a block from home and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go back but I have nowhere else to go. No friends, no family at any rate.
We live in a very rural area so the nearest hospital is about 35 miles away, and last time I was in the hospital for a similar issue cost $3000. There aren’t any shelters or anything anywhere close, and I have no money or transport to get to where there are any.
I guess part of me was hoping she would at least TRY to look for me, but that’s not happening. I think it’s been about two hours and nothing.
What do I do?
Written by
Karasu
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Not sure how to reply to this; are you maybe a bit envious that your child gets more attention than you, (You didn't say?) Do you have a mental condition?
Your wife might be hoping you will come back on your own, rather than her coming to find you, (or reporting you missing). You also haven't mentioned what caused the argument which made you walk out. All this is relative stuff to give us a rounded picture of events, if you would like advice.
You say you have been in hospital before and have no form of transport. To me that suggests than you need to go home and face the music, apologise and try to work things out; Explain to her (calmly,) how you feel and what you think caused the fight. Marriage is a partnership, both partners need to work at it, and an adversarial atmosphere is not good for the child, as they pick up clues to how to behave from their parents.
Another good thing might be to try to get Couple's Therapy, (I'm in the UK, so I don't know how your system works).
I hope I have got the right end of the stick; if not, I humbly apologise.
It is hard when you don't have a support system. Hey this is a place to share with people who get it. Trying to make her worry about you doesn't help. You can't force someone to care. There are a lot of videos out there about communication, dealing with depression, couples therapy....Try out some youtube surfing and if you have Netflix check out Berne' Brown- Daring Greatly it's funny and helpful, she is on youtube too. I live in a rural area too so I try anything I can to flip the script in my head.
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