Not much has changed

[Luba48]

Half the year is gone, and I'm still depressed and anxious. I have a psychiatrist, a therapist, and am taking 4 different medications for depression and anxiety. I guess my depression is treatment resistant. 😒

I've been hoping to get a part-time volunteer or paid position, but I have to apply first.

I haven't been very proactive, plus some jobs have physical requirements: standing, lifting, bending, etc. I have a bad back, so I can't do those.

But there has to be something out there I can do. I'll just keep looking.

[Aguila1794]

Hi, there’s definitely a job for you somewhere. A few years ago I saw a guy in a wheelchair checking people out at a Target. I hope that sparked a little hope. As for the depression, it’s been a struggle of mine too for over 15 years. I’m 27, not sure of your age to compare. I don’t need to know. If you ever want to talk, I’m all ears. Peace be with you.

[Luba48 in reply to Aguila1794]

Thanks for the encouragement!

[Aguila1794]

Also, I’m not into women so you don’t have to worry about getting hit on or anything. I never know what people are thinking so I just like to make people aware.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Aguila1794]

Hi Aguila, I am 33 year old female, struggling with Major Depression Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I saw you have been struggling for over 15 years. What are some triggers and what worked to overcome those triggers to keep pushing forward. I typically struggle when I fail in life, behind, or feeling overwhelmed. I had to leave work and it's been 8 months now, I thought traveling would help, but the happiness only lasted a few seconds, until I realized life will never be amazing again/ever. I just see life as a living hell. And worry, if I chose to leave this earth, I will have to return to re-do it all over again. Rather than have peace.

[Aguila1794 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

My biggest trigger is when someone tells a true story about someone who successfully committed suicide. I’ve tried and couldn’t pull the trigger. Anyway that’s probably not what you want to know about. Time helps with most things, when time fails you have to cope healthily. Music does the most for me, reading is the most fun, but if you’re a reader and don’t feel like reading, listen to music. Sometimes closing your eyes during your favorite song makes a difference. I would be happy to talk with you further about this if you wish. If not, peace be with you.

[DangLifeisHell in reply to Aguila1794]

I made an attempt couple a months ago, but survived unfortunately. Yikes! I hope I didn't trigger you! AND YES I DO AGREE. Time does help and still trying to commit to healthy coping strategies. I know working out helped, but after 15 years of not working out, it is a challenge. I went to the gym forced by my parents, and was sour for like 4 days. Music definitely helps, but also can be a trigger when the sad songs come on or the lyrics just hit home. I remember driving and just started balling my eyes out. I wish I could get into reading, but just not my thing. I only wish you the best. Thank you for responding. I want to get into dancing again. But afraid I will just look like a fool ahah being off beat and all.

[Luba48 in reply to DangLifeisHell]

Sometimes I'm tired of life and the pain of living. But I have two daughters and 5 grandchildren and could never do that to them.