How to find motivation to go on?

[grindhaus]

I'm a 55F, been dealing with depression my whole life. Recently in November i lost my job. My spouse is ADHD and depressed as well. He doesn't work either. We are currently spending our retirement savings which will not last much longer. I find myself totally uninterested in doing anything. I lay in bed half the day and read war news the other half. Our 2 dogs save us from being completely inactive and emotionally dead. But, like all of you, I'm struggling, struggling, just to go through the motions of life. Nothing seems worth it. My psychiatrist just keeps wanting to put me on more drugs. Nothing works.Have any of you found a way to turn your mind around, figure out how to get up, care, find a job, live your life again, even if its just little steps?

[Jane_5060]

Hey - I’ve been struggling with it almost my whole life. I’m 60. I still have to struggle to get out of bed and no interest in anything and no motivation. The thing I have to do is travel about 20 minutes away almost every day to help care for my elderly parents. One has dementia and the other is still pretty sharp but steadily declining bit by bit. My mom knows me when she sees me but the other day after I left, my Dad told me she asked, who was that lady that was just here helping us. I’d been expecting this so it wasn’t crushing but ya know eventually it all gets worse. Having said that I do feel a sense of self worth and being needed. Doing something good but it has its tough days. The sense of loneliness I feel now and what I believe it will be like without them is overwhelmingly sad. But I try to get as much good out of it as I can for me now - good conversations if possible, joking around, singing - yes singing. Just want you to know I’m finding more and more people around the internet in the exact situation. 50’s - 60’s alone and depressed. So down they can barely move. It’s really become a national crisis, loneliness especially plus anxiety and a sense of no connection. I think if more people like you and me talk about this problem on the internet we’re going to find, and create ways to combat it. I just think your situation and mine though slightly different will eventually be addressed on a national level. It’s a crisis really. I believe the ideas, the outlets and resources for help will get better. They just have to. 15 years ago when “Meetups” were just starting I pushed myself to show up at some of these hastily put together “events” and there were some humdinger’s let me tell you. Just weird, embarrassing and humiliating situations. I cried all the way home not to mention the fact that practically no one showed up. However I think they are getting a little better and more structured and more tuned in to a certain group’s liking. So ya know opportunities will come up that won’t just be yoga and book clubs( which I wish I could still find but I can’t by the way😂). Wait for the really good things to come that will interest you and your husband. I know- it’s hard to even go online and do that but maybe another way through a different source. I just found out the YM CA I went to and hated every minute of being there just got a book club going. Right after I quit. Who knew? I need to find better drugs or supplements too. Getting some things in order can help and going to a support group can help but it is hard to start. I always think - if someone could just go with me…but there is no one and the more I ask for help from old friends the more they blow me off. That part may be the worst of it all. I can’t even talk about it. Maybe you can relate. So - please do little things to take care of yourselves, favorite tv shows, cuddle up with a warm blanket and comfort food. Bookmark the the things in your head you know you are good at even being nice to the check out person at the local grocery store. Praise yourself for all those little things, then slowly start on the medium size things. You won’t be able to do it everyday. But try. Ask your shrink about every resource , every single activity she knows about that could help you and really push her! I’ve been to plenty of shrinks and trust me that’s part of their job. They need to come through and often don’t want to do the extra work. Push on ‘em. It won’t hurt them any. This is your life that’s hanging in the balance- really and they are there to HELP you not just do the same song and dance every week, tell you what you are doing wrong and get you out the door. Good therapists will help you move forward no matter how long it takes and so will good friends if you can find them. Good luck.