Hi,
I can't help but ask myself, will this depression ever let up? Even just a little? I want to be happy. I want to feel loved. I want to belong. And instead I feel so completely isolated. Just when I think think I'm starting to get better, I get hit with another. I have a high and then an extreme low that last for days. I feel like I'm losing complete control of myself.i want to scream.
"will this depression ever let up? Even just a little?" Yes it will get at least a little bit better. Being active on this site has helped me so much. Being able to talk to people who understand. I used to have such a hard time getting out of bed every day. Now I actually look forward to getting up to check for messages and read posts. No the depression has not gone away, but yes it has gotten a little bit better. You do not have to be alone with it any longer. You do not have to feel so completely isolated.
I may not be the best to respond. I have had major depression for my whole life, and I am 72. I can't remember feeling free of the symptoms of sadness, heaviness, hopelessness, despair, loneliness, lack of motivation, apathy, isolation, etc. I am sure there have been times when it was not so oppressive, but antidepressants never helped and I did not receive satisfactory support from mental health professionals. I am now finally off medication and it does seem more possible that I will feel better. I am no longer numb or suffering the symptoms of the drugs. So I can release some of the emotions that have blocked my energy for so long. I finally have a good therapist who is helping with early childhood issues and contributes to my feeling a little hopeful. The best advice I can give is to be in the moment and accept the reality of your situation. Try to make it neither good or bad. Don't ruminate over the past or try to project into the future. You will have to do what you can to make change happen and then build on your progress. I hope this doesn't bum you out, we are all different and I have to think there is some divine plan at work. We just don't know what it is exactly.
Wow, how long have you been off the meds? I am on my journey now. off one and tapering the other and I am in complete HELL. How long did withdrawals take for you?
I have been off for four or five months now. Withdrawal was done slowly, by me, and it was the Ativan for sleep, that was the hardest. I still have severe sleep problems. I am having difficulty with symptoms of depression right now but I also am completely sure that I am better off not being numb. I didn't have any major problems getting off the antidepressants so I really feel bad for you. I feel it will be worth it but I am completely dependent upon my therapist right now. We are working on early childhood issues and that has given me hope.
thank you for sharing. I sure hope I can be as successful!
Yes, it usually does. It takes work. Is this your first depresson?
I've had this depression since I was a kid but it's all finally coming out now that I'm in a safe place. It's just very overwhelming at times.
have you seen a dr about medication?
For myself
Anxiety and depression has been a lifelong illness
I am in my 50’s now
And what I have come to understand is “know thyself”
This illness is like diabetes or heart disease - it requires a PLAN!
For me- sunlight, exercise, meds, support system, routine, daily purpose and a strong spiritual connection,
When I fall behind on these, or my life gets out of balance - I feel the illness rearing it’s ugly head!
And I have to acknowledge it- and say- wait a minute- what am I not doing that’s causing me to slide?
Please, gins a counselor, dr and support people to help you get to the root of your personal causes of depression
Hang in there
Things can and will change
Change is hard but it is necessary to fight this illness
You can do it!
I know what you're going through, that's exactly my life right now, everyday is basically the same.
How do you get back to work when everything feels so hard?
just looking for connection - very lonesome and depressed.
Better,but not quite
I’m spiraling and I don’t know how to stop it 
Laying down on the job of being a better me.
