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This Girl Can: help women feel safe exercising in the dark

Cmoi profile image
CmoiMarathon
18 Replies

Cross-posted to the C25K, Bridge to 10K, and Marathon and Events forums.

I've just seen this article in The Guardian: theguardian.com/commentisfr...

Worth a read, regardless of gender. I particularly like that the article includes one of the points that I've previously made myself on the HU running forums: Of course, I know that most of the men reading this aren’t the aggressors and that they would never harass a woman, but the point is that women do not know that.

Run safely, run happy!

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Cmoi profile image
Cmoi
Marathon
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18 Replies
Sandraj39 profile image
Sandraj39Half Marathon

Thanks for the link Cmoi - definitely an article to share…

I was only thinking today that with the clocks going back, I will mostly be running in the dark for my weekday runs from now on. My head torch has been charged and I am ready to go! I am lucky enough to live in what I consider to be a pretty safe area but I have still, on occasion, altered my route because I have felt uncomfortable when running on my own.

My husband also runs and of course never feels this way. We have talked about it and I know that he takes care to give lone women runners or walkers space, as suggested in this article.

I absolutely won’t give up my lone runs, so it’s good to see more men acknowledging and understanding how different it feels to be a woman out on her own.

🙂🏃‍♀️

linda9389 profile image
linda9389AdministratorMarathon

I walk a lot in quieter places - through the woods and fields, so that's when I am most aware of my own 'fears'. In many ways I am possibly too blase, but once the light begins to fade it's a whole different matter! Keeping a distance or moving away would make a huge difference to how I felt and, as the article says, that really isn't such an onerous thing to do.

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessAdministratorHalf Marathon

I see the same male runner on my country road route fairly frequently now and while he is on the other side running towards me and doesn’t bother me at all, he never acknowledges my greeting or little wave and totally ignores me.

While this has slightly irritated me at times I’m now thinking perhaps he’s read these articles and he just thinks the best way is to ignore all female runners. I know some people would say, “gawd, you can’t win” but I am always a little sad when he doesn’t even say hello as a fellow runner ☹️

misswobble profile image
misswobbleMarathon in reply to Irishprincess

he might just be a miserable git 😀

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessAdministratorHalf Marathon in reply to misswobble

😂 yes I did think that too 🤣

Beachcomber66 profile image
Beachcomber66AdministratorHalf Marathon in reply to Irishprincess

misswobble is probably right 😂!

I guess we have to leave a bit of room for the possibility that he is wrapped up in his own issues and using his run to process them.

Cmoi profile image
CmoiMarathon in reply to Irishprincess

If he's read these sorts of articles and thinks that the message is "Ignore all female runners, even if they greet you" then he's missed the point. He might be shy, deaf, concentrating, or yes, a miserable git!

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessAdministratorHalf Marathon in reply to Cmoi

The jury’s out….

misswobble profile image
misswobbleMarathon in reply to Irishprincess

break him down IP, with your radiant smile and cheery thumbs up etc 😁

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessAdministratorHalf Marathon in reply to misswobble

I will keep trying! I’m not changing 😀

misswobble profile image
misswobbleMarathon in reply to Irishprincess

As they say in these parts, “you mon’t alter!” 😀👍

MissUnderstanding profile image
MissUnderstandingHalf Marathon in reply to Irishprincess

I’ve got one of those round here! Almost all the people I meet are lovely and say hi back but there’s this one who just looks stony faced and ignores me. I’m going to keep trying!

I don’t tend to find other people who are obviously runners threatening (unless they’re coming from behind and overtaking so I can’t see to judge their intentions). Your bloke is breaking the runners’ code by not at least smiling and nodding back at you!

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJoUltramarathon

I really disagree with this bit:"Never make comments, even if you think it’s a compliment. It’s intimidating to a woman on her own. Stay quiet."

That's just creepy. Far better to greet me in a normal manner; Good morning/ evening in a pleasant tone. Someone who remains silent automatically goes in my "weirdo" file 🤣

Cmoi profile image
CmoiMarathon in reply to GoGo_JoJo

I get what you mean GoGo_JoJo , I think it'd have been better to leave out "Stay quiet." When I read that it seemed a bit OTT, though I'd also argue that someone could perfectly well greet you with a smile, a nod of the head or a thumbs-up sign. Though where I live it's absolutely normal, indeed expected, that you say "Bonjour" even to complete strangers, and that goes for kids and adults!

However I've no problem with "Never make comments, even if you think it’s a compliment" - I don't read that as "Never greet someone."

MissUnderstanding profile image
MissUnderstandingHalf Marathon in reply to GoGo_JoJo

I didn’t read it like that-I wouldn’t count saying good morning/good evening as making a comment. I thought it was more the personal appearance type stuff that gets yelled out as you pass occasionally.

GoGo_JoJo profile image
GoGo_JoJoUltramarathon in reply to MissUnderstanding

I've never experienced that so I wouldn't think of it. Worst I've had is little kids making fun of me, never adults. 🤷‍♀️ if I do get a comment rather than a greeting its usually an older person saying "well done, keep going!" 👏🏻

nowster profile image
nowsterMetric Marathon in reply to MissUnderstanding

That reminds me of Pygmalion (and My Fair Lady):

HIGGINS: Oh, that'll be all right. I've taught her to speak properly; and she has strict orders as to her behaviour. She's to keep to two subjects: the weather and everybody's health—Fine day and How do you do, you know—and not to let herself go on things in general. That will be safe.

And that tends to be the sort of safe thing to talk about even now.

"Lovely day." "Cold, isn't it?" "I wasn't expecting rain." "It's a bit muddy back there." "Watch out for the geese. They're grumpy today." Things like that.

Beachcomber66 profile image
Beachcomber66AdministratorHalf Marathon

I agree with the need to be thoughtful and give female runners space in circumstances where they may feel uncomfortable.

My encounters with other runners or walkers I don’t know are mainly brief passing “good mornings”. Usually there is a similar response. If there is no response or eye contact, I just conclude that I am dealing with a person, maybe in their own world, who doesn’t welcome intrusion at that point, or possibly at all, and leave it at that. One of the benefits of running is that it gives us space to process things, so I am relaxed about “no response”. We don’t know what is going on in people’s lives I guess.

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