Over the last few weeks I have had a lot of support from people who I have never met however on discussion with a friend same friend said that you should listen to those who have experience in marathons or halves or whatever. Yes they have experience but their experience won't necessarily be your experience.
I have signed up for the Yorkshire Marathon on 20th October as someone who has been very supportive and encouraging (I have never met them) said that the longer I leave it the less likely it will be that I will ever do it. I have also entered the ballot for London 2020.
My main gripe is that I have done 4 half marathons now so I am not a beginner. I am not fast but again I don't care but I am getting faster so why do people who are usually faster than me feel that they have the right to suggest what I should do as if I was a beginner at running. I know they mean well but I know my body and what I am capable of doing. It has got to the point where I am wary of sharing my plans on running fb groups as there is always somebody who will say I wouldn't do that etc.
Written by
Pippa49
Half Marathon
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My uncle visited us from Australia a couple of years ago, looked me in the eye very sternly, and told me that I should give up running marathons straight away, because he knew someone who ran marathons who had developed a serious cardiovascular condition. Pretty random, and of course I ignored him 😊😊😊
There IS always someone who says I wouldn't do that!
Yes. I saw a very sad post on fb recently by a woman who can't tell her mother about her running, and was asking for help. People care, and they don't understand why their loved one wants to go running. I guess the best you can do is tell them you're grateful for their concern, agree to disagree, and show them what you can do!
But you don't have to post on Facebook groups if it upsets you... ?
Thanks. I am just going to lurk from now on lol and if I do an event I will post after if I feel like it. It doesn't upset me just annoys me but I am stubborn so I will do what I want to do not what others think I should do. You only have one life and I want to look back when I can't run and say I achieved something.
This is the only running forum (well, all the NHS HU running forums) I belong to and I find it very inclusive and supportive but I get the impression that not all running groups are the same. Perhaps it is time to evaluate which running forums you are on and choose to post on those that accept you for what you can do and are supportive and helpful in your goals (sorry, Mama bear coming out here). But I agree with roseabi, there will always be that Naysayer out there, who questions why you would even try it. Look at who is posting and what their intent is. Are they trying to be helpful and guide you to success or just trying to cut you down? If their intent is honest and trying to be helpful, then ok, take from it what you can, but if not, gloss over and carry on.
For me, I could not do a marathon at this stage in my life but am in awe (and perhaps a little jealous) of those who can commit the time to train properly for it. If you feel you have the time and commitment to devout to the training and are in the running to make the cutoff times given for said race, then go for it and head the advice of those who are trying to be helpful and help you reach those goals, as lofty as they may be for some of us who can only dream about.
It's a little difficult to assess whether they are trying to be helpful or not tbh. It's only a few as most have been very supportive and encouraging and have said to ignore the negativity and just go and do it. As I said I didn't finish Brighton but I had a great weekend and met new people and the support was awesome. I did more than those who sat at home. I am taking one event at a time. Swansea Half first.
I can relate to your experience. Two people I know (who have been doing PR for a few years) tell me what I should be doing in a way that comes across as talking down to me. I just thank them and do my own thing.
I think it's important to be clear about why you're running and what you want from it and then set your boundaries. I'm running to improve my health – which includes reducing my stress level (so avoiding high blood pressure). So I give all competitions a wide berth, not because I don't want to test myself, but to avoid all the posturing and oneupmanship (and it is mostly men!) that goes with competitive situations. And I don't need the two guys I mentioned above patronising me about my PR times.
Thanks I run to clear my head and for my health. I don't have an issue with entering races and if I don't finish then what will be will be, I know that I have had a go and done my best.
My main forum is HU but I am also a member of Sisters with Blisters on FB, which is a hoot and very supportive. Not too serious as you might guess from the name 😂
Hi Sandie. Must look them up. As well as being on this forum I am on GTJ, Half Marathon Hopefully, Run Marathon Support, Lonely Goat RC, Brighton Marathon Virgins and Veterans and Party At The Back set up for the London Marathon and I am assuming for other events where there are slower runners at the back.
It's cool here. Your doing great and certainly no beginner with 4 halfs under your belt 😎 that's pro in my eyes. Dont let the negatives get you down! We all run at our own pace and for our own reasons. That is what this space is all about and why I love it here. Real people (like yourself) real shit and real running 😎😎😎🤪
Thanks I appreciate that. Been out for a 4mile run today (Saturday 4th May) trying out run 15secs /walk 30 secs for the second time. Another run in the 15mm bracket.
STOP listening to what other people say!!! Stop listening to what other experienced marathoners say!!! Because they are not you!!! Seek out those you know who are like you and have done the marathon and talk to them . If you are a slow marathoner , seek out the slowest of the marathoners you know, etc!!! I am 72yo and attempting my first full M in July - I HAVE to do it in 14:30 mins per mile - so I did my first 20 miler today using 30/60 . But I am knackered!!!
Thanks. Most of the time I take no notice in that I listen to their advice but do my own thing as I know my body best. I think it is worst coming from people who know you rather than strangers sometimes. Someone told me that the less people who know your plans the better . I am start to feel that this is true as then you can concentrate without any negative comments going around in your mind.
If you don't feel like a beginner then I suppose you aren't? Try to ignore any blatant negativity. Having said that, some good advice can sometimes come over as negative depending on how receptive you are. When I first started running I didn't want to hear too much about ideas that conflicted with my own pet ideas/theories on training/nutrition/races, but having got more experience I can look back at earlier advice and see that a lot of it was often very brutal but essentially correct. Old hands aren't the most diplomatic when dispensing advice they have personally learned the hard way through sweating blood, they often come over as saying "take it or leave it, but..." as in (I know you won't take this advice and will learn the hard way but I have to say it anyway...)
Personally, I do still feel like a beginner even though I've run a marathon and 15-20 HMs (11 this year so far). I think it depends on the company you keep, I recently joined a group who run a marathon EVERY week on indoor tracks during the winter and most of them have run 100+ marathons. Yep I'm very much a beginner on that measure. My daughter on the other hand has just started C25K with her boyfriend and I'm an expert distance runner in their eyes! It's all relative. So I'm happy have to have my leg pulled as a beginner by the super marathoners and feel a bit silly being called a seasoned veteran by my daughter!
I'd take any advice offered by other runners as useful data, both positive and negative. I've never met a runner who's trying to do anyone down, we all seem to be rooting for each other. Ignore any advice from non runners because they often don't know what they are talking about and have other agendas.
Thanks yes I understand what you mean however I can listen to their advice and take some of it on board but ultimately I know my body and what I am capable of. I know I can learn from each race/run that didn't go to plan.
I have a friend who doesn't run who says my pace is a fast walk really. Another who tells me that running after 45 is bad for you. I don't care (well a bit) the most important thing is you get round. I have done 3 halfs and signed up for Brighton next year by then I will have done at least 2 more halfs and the great south run.
It's funny you say this. I thought about the same thing just last week, and wrote a piece about this last week. It's almost as if people try to psych you out. I took to heart so much negative advice before running London last year that I figure that I could easily have reduced my finishing time at London by half an hour if I had just listened to myself and not joined so many lines for the toilet. After 7 years of consistent running I have to admit to myself that I'm not a beginner, and I actually have my own experience to draw on.
I think your experience is perfectly transferable, and you should definitely trust yourself.
Thank you. I like you took some of the negativity to heart. A coach friend said that I should listen to advice from people who have ran marathons etc. I now think yes they have experience but their experience won't be mine. I have given up asking for advice on the running groups I am in and am only posting after events except on HU. I have a place in the ballot for London and am currently training for the Swansea Half marathon with the ultimate aim of doing the Yorkshire Marathon on 20th October two weeks after Cardiff Half on 6th October.
I don't really post anything on Facebook re my running/jogging whatever I want to call it! But a friend in the local did ask me a while ago.... as I had been liking and commenting on running stuff!! haha
I've never heard of never doing a marathon if you don't do it now?
I think you are doing FAB !!
personally I don't feel ready for any 10k or HM at the moment (but that's just me!)
Anyways l would say just listen to your own good advice
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