Today was a milestone for me - I have finally conquered 10 miles! 17.5 km in one sitting (or rather one running) was a real eye-opener. The weather was ideal, and I had great fun clocking the looks of the walking couple who I passed three times in the space of one and a half hours.
I first had to battle through hoards of people either on their way to the massive car boot sale near my house, or on their way back to the car, four-abreast, carrying piles of stools (the seating variety, I hasten to add), blankets, car parts and other paraphernalia that had been fobbed off on them by the local footie club mafia.
Off I scooted, leaving way too fast as I ran down the middle of the road to attain a bit of tarmac with no people on it. Then I settled into my run, up to the next village, with a little prowl around the finishing line for a 90km ride that my nutty neighbour was taking part in. Didn't see her family waiting though so plodded off on the next stage of my carefully planned itinerary. I was doing very well thank you, and grandiosely told Gary that he could can it because I was a mean, lean running machine and I would rock this HM, so he could jolly well shove his useless negativity where the gremlin sun doesn't shine, because I was f**king fantastic, so there.
However when I got to 14 km, half way up a hill en route for the final 3.5 km through hilly and secluded terrain, my body told me to get stuffed. Gary pulled his Y-fronts out of his bum, grinned and sang, "I toooold you so" before victoriously popping the top on a beer and asking with a malicious glint in his eye, "So, are we going home now, then?"
Various flashing warning lights and buzzers started going off, and I realised that 1) my breakfast was a long way behind me and that my pain au chocolat, bravely hunted down by Calculus at the break of dawn, had probably been pretty inadequate fuel for a run of more than 10km, 2) that my lips were dry, 3) that I was 24 hours into a course of antibiotics with sinuses full of snot, and 4) that I was starting to feel woozy on my way to relatively quiet and unfrequented terrain inhabited by not much other than small mammals and the occasional vineyard worker.
My biggest fear when running, as I have already said, is keeling over into a ditch and being found dead and frozen in a thick shell of sweat with my mouth wide one and my hand on my phone by a local hunter the following day. This scares me even more than the spectre of being abducted by The Man In the White Van, being taken for an over-sized boar by a local hunter after a glass of Pastis too many, or even tripping over one of those extendable dog leads. So I turned round and headed back to the route where I could faint and be found. Gary was informed that this was in no way, shape or form 'giving up' and we were going to finish this run as we had started it, and if I didn't finish it then my teenagers would roll their eyes and read me the riot act, so he buckled up and sulked.
The last 3.5 km were gentle. I passed a garden where people were drinking the apéritif, and realised with delight that once I had drunk my own body weight in water, a bottle of beer would be a very pleasant reward for my effort. I ran though the flea market people again, in circles, because I was now hell-bent on finishing the crazy mission that My Asics had asked me to do. (My Asics called it a "comfortable 17.5 km". I don't think they have ever heard of the term "oxymoron", maybe they should look it up.) As I blasted past the pizza guy for the final straight, he cheered me on. I felt like a super star. Result of the run: 2 hours for 17.5 km. And one delightfully refreshing bottle of beer in the garden.
Sorry it's so long. The gob on a stick is now going to John Wayne-it to the fridge for another beer. Happy running, folks.
Written by
mfamilias
Half Marathon
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Phew, I did 13 today, I can't imagine doing 17.5 km, in a good time aswell. My Asics sounds like a bit of a taskmaster. Well done and a good write-up aswell.
I couldn't imagine it either - I woke up this morning thinking it was Monday,, then realized it was Sunday and was all happy and snuggled into my quilt, then realized that not being Monday meant that I had a 17.5 km run to do for the first time. I have never indulged in so much pre-run faffage in my life...
Well done Mfam - well on course for that HM now! When is ? I really do think that when you get up to these distances, mental belief is key. I know that my best runs when training for my HM were when I left the gremlins trembling in my wake! Oh, and I bet that bottle of beer tasted good too!🙂
Definitely. I wouldn't say that Gary was trembling, but at least he shut up until I got home And yes, the beer was lush. Tasted very different to when I don't deserve it! HM is on 25th June. Scarily real all of a sudden.
Fantastic, mfam, don't you just love 'my Asics' a comfortable this, a slow that 😂...Who are they kidding? .........10 miles was a real biggie for me too, I thought my legs were going to fall off after the first one, honestly I did, now I'm actually looking forward to my next 'long' run of 15k+, crazy talk.....🤣
You'll be right on for that HM now, Gary must be on the verge of moving out, surely.......
I'd got as far as 14k before, but the last few kms today were really a case of mind over matter. I hope that I'll get it sussed before the big day - the added complication is that the HM has hills in it...
Well done mfam and aside from the obvious sense of satisfaction that it gives that type of run teaches us a lot too. Even if it is partly a mental crutch, I always take water for a run of more than 12K and sustenance for anything more than 14K. Have you tried the gels? Not everyone gets on with them but for those who do, they are probably the easiest solution (not as nice as Jelly Babies, though )
I am going to find myself some kind of water container that I can strap onto myself (can't stand holding things in my hands when I run). I was dreaming of jelly babies at km 15. I tasted one of those gel things - revolting. Real food or nothing for this girl.
Absolutely awesome achievement Sweetie! Not only did you run a L O N G way in a stonking time, but you also put Gary firmly in his place *and* you did both of these things whilst dosed up on antibiotics for sinus lurgy. You are indeed La Wonder Woman du jour. Just need to sort your hydration and refuelling issues and you'll be unstoppable. 🏃♀️ Xx
Thanks sweetie Yup, I am still grinning this morning, and nothing hurts, which is a good sign. Coughed my lungs up for a couple of hours at bedtime though and will be taking it easy today. Maybe I'll check out a few pocket-sized "real food" fueling options online.
Let me know if you come up with anything edible/easy on the innards. I'll need to start carrying fuel too as my distances increase but I have a morbid fear of gels (or, to be more precise, I have a morbid fear of the effect gels can have on an unsuspecting gut!!)
I tasted one that was a freebie from a sponsor on my first official 10k, nearly barfed just from the taste of it. Not going back down that road, ta muchly... I may ask my parents to smuggle me over a couple of bags of Jelly Babies when they come over in May. misswobble makes herself mini-portions of date flapjack, if I remember rightly... I need stuff that's not too dry, easy to chew and swallow, and not too faffy. On the day of the run there is food and drink along the course so I know I'll be ok.
Jelly babies do seem a popular option and, of course, misswobble is the queen of the homemade energy bars. Perhaps we could persuade her to post some recipes. As for fluids, I'm told rehydration salts are good but they taste meh. Decisions decisions.. x
Home made energy bars sound more reassuring to me; I don't buy much processed food. I reckon I'll be going for bog-standard water to drink - only water quenches thirst for me. Or beer.
I absolutely savoured that beer don't usually apply the my Asics speed advice - the slow is always too slow for me. And their "race pace" looks way too optimistic too. I'm just aiming to finish this HM, even if my ego would prefer it to be in a good time.
Post scriptum. I signed up for the Big Half not long after told you it was highly unlikely I'd sign up for another HM. Having a little break, then back to training we go
Gary is my Gremlin Old floss even drew him for me! He's a star now, and we have since discovered that he is one of an entire network of international running gremlins. More about him here if you have an urgent need to procrastinate this morning
Thank you The poor people were embarrassed, as French protocol (at least here in the sticks) requires that you say 'hello' or otherwise acknowledge the people you meet. When you've been running for over 10k and you're bombing towards the same people for the umpteenth time, they think you've taken a shine to them.
The real locals you meet in the countryside here are winegrowers and/or hunters, they tend to shake their heads and grin as I shuffle past swearing.
Woo Hoo ! Really Well done to you on a EPIC run ! This is when you really know you can complete the HM , very much a mental " win " as much as a physical one .
Youve got this in the tank now , its in the bank, Onwards ! xxx
Cheers, Pops! Onwards and forwards... to more hill work, but on shorter distances until I've made some progress. What are your ideas, if any, for refuelling on long runs?
I take raisins, chopped fruit ( tiny pieces ) protein bars chopped into small pieces and Haribos I put one of those Berroca type tablets in my water bottle and have a quick slurp on that . I only tried the gel once , it didnt have any adverse affect on me , but I prefer the fruit and jelly sweets xxx
What on earth are Berroca tablets? How do you carry your water bottle? I like the idea of protein bars chopped into small pieces, I'm guessing they are moist? (never tried them either).
They are evervescent tablets that you put into water , they contain vitamins and minerals . I take a cheaper version , or a diaorolyte tablet . The protein bars are quite moist xxx
I've found your Berroca doodahs, they are sold in France! They even do uni-dose sticks of some weird stuff full of guarana and caffeine. Think I'll give that a miss.
Thanks, and thanks it's dangerous to feel sorry for Gary, he spots the slightest weakness and is onto it in a flash. He's calling your Gremlin as I type...
Thanks, cupcake Coo, when did you start running marathons? I'm impressed! Don't know if I'll smash it, but I'm going to finish the bugger even if I do so on all fours.
I use a Zikee running belt, it's got two water bottles, I can't stand holding anything in my hands for long, plus this has got a big zip pocket, big enough for a smart phone and snacks 😄
I can't seem to paste the link, but if you do a search on it you'll see what's available 😉
I'll have a look on line - thank you Madge I need something that won't jiggle too much. I've found some interesting supple water holders on line too, flat ones like the disposable ones for juices and fruit purée for kids. I did see things you could stuff down your bra with wine in them for concerts and nightclubs once... now there's an idea... extra cleavage AND drink for the run!
Just don't run like him....😂.....I used to wear mine on my hips, as I've lost a bit of wobble (!) , I find it more comfortable on my waist now and have the bottles at the back.....I've found it really comfortable with its wide elastic belt.......hope you like it.....😄
The sound of water sloshing takes a bit of getting used to.....but you'll soon get used to it....😂
I'll be needing that water once the temperatures start climbing.... The sloshing noise will be music to my ears Kiddo thinks I've finally lost my senses running so far.
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