Funny Old Lupus

Pinched this from another site. Thought it was quite apt :-)

This funny list was written by the members of our message boards It made me laugh, and I wanted to share it with all of you. Sometimes it pays to have a sense of humor!

Any conversation can suddenly turn into a round of “Charades”.

A “good hair day” is when you realize you have some left.

You make a grocery list so you wont forget anything, and then forget where you put the list. (On a REALLY bad day, you also forget where the grocery store is!)

You bathe the lawn, fertilize the dog, and brush the kids.

You use the smoke detector to tell you when dinner is done.

You can’t effectively argue with your husband anymore. ~ “I am mad as all heck at you! I just wish I could remember why! DAMMIT!”

You invent your own ‘Lupus Language’ when typing.

Your medications take up the entire medicine cabinet.

Your wardrobe contains mostly sweat pants, stretch pants, T-shirts & a robe that never gets washed because that’s all you wear most days.

You’re on a first name basis with your Doctor & the ER staff.

Your family knows what “I have half a spoon left.” means.

You end up at the shop, then the doctor’s, then college/work, when you actually intended to be going to the gym.

You can’t remember if the post-it note telling you to remember to take your pills is from yesterday, and you haven’t taken them today, or it’s one that you just wrote to remind you tomorrow.

Your husband asks you to go and stir the beans in the kitchen and finds you brushing your teeth in the bathroom instead.

You bend over to tie your shoes and wonder, “What else can I accomplish while I’m down here?”

You find yourself at home, wishing that you were at work, wishing you were at home!

You leave your keys in the freezer for three days and only find them because your hubby decides to make dinner.

You call the same person three times in one day to tell them exactly what you told them the first time.

You call your husband by the dog’s name on a continual basis and get angry when he doesn’t answer.

You forget how to get back to your house that you have lived in for four years.

You knock yourself out by running into a cabinet door (tree, furniture etc..)

You wake up and can’t remember your partner’s name.

You search an entire day for your remote control and find it by accident in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator.

A simple trip to your mailbox makes your neighbors suspect that you are another neighbor’s (“Crazy Mary”) drinking buddy because you stumble, trip & weave.

You can play games with your family like “Guess This Rash”.

Your day starts at 1pm and you say good morning to people.

You have red cheeks and everyone assumes you have sunburn!

Tying your sneaker laces seems like punishment.

When you go to the fridge, and stare at it wondering.. what the heck did I want now? Then remember 15 minutes later. when the kids are looking at you wondering why you didn’t feed them yet!

Go to the store to buy something specific… Buy the whole store.. and forget the one thing you went for in the first place.

When the only way you know if you’ve taken your meds for this time of day or not is to look at your pill organizer!

When you tell people “Good Morning” in the afternoon so often they’ve stopped correcting you.

When you’ve called your spouse by your pet’s nickname, rather than their pet name, so frequently they answer to it.

Your cat knows that you are talking about him when you say “the cat”.

You’ve looked for your sun hat while wearing it.

You have to count the amount of pills left in the bottle to tell whether or not you remembered to take your pills that day.

When you know another month has passed, only because it’s time to refill your meds!

Your hair becomes a regular condiment in the dinner.

You ask your children to do the dishes because you just can’t, and they wash all the spoons first and offer them to you.

The food delivery driver shows up at the door and compliments you on your new pajamas! (He was getting kinda tired of seeing the same ones all the time! )

You have to ask hubby to smell your hair before you get out of the shower, because you can’t remember if you washed it or not.

Hubby calls you on your way home from picking up the kids from day camp, wondering where you are. (It’s a 12 minute drive each way and you’ve been gone almost an hour. )

You’re embarassed to admit it’s because you’re lost, 3 miles from home.

You register a new number of a company so that you can pay your bill online, but forget to delete the old number of that company and continue to pay the old account.

You make plans (and budget spoons) in order to go shopping, and then can’t remember where the heck you wanted to go or what you needed.

Your husband calls you by your Indian name “Dances With Lupus”.

When someone asks you what happened, and in response to your confusion, points to a bruise that you didn’t even know you had.

You get up to go to the bathroom (stupid diuretics) before you go to bed and get side tracked and FORGET you were going to sleep…

You are REMINDED that you were going to sleep, start to type a funny entry about having to be reminded you were going to sleep, and fall asleep… WHILE TYPING!!!!

You go downstairs to take your pills and eat something. First leave your pills upstairs. Then come back down, make a sandwich, sit down to eat, and realize, “Oh, I was going to take my pills.”

You are TOTALLY slap-happy… Even after sleeping almost 12 hours!!!

It’s 8pm on a Saturday. After sleeping until 11am, resting in the afternoon, and doing nothing all day, you’re still so tired that you begin babbling about turkey fritters eating the rainbow. Come, 11 pm, you’re so slap-happy that your boyfriend suggests sedatives, and can’t remember the turkey thing.

You get up in the morning and have very few little spoons for the day but have to go to work.

…and 4 hours later, your friend comes to your office and says, “Um, is that shirt supposed to be worn inside out???”

When you are too full to eat breakfast because you already took your morning meds!

You have three clocks in front of you and you stilll have to think about what time it is.

You’re making drinks for everyone’s breakfast & you throw chocolate milk mix in your ice water, put juice in the sippy cup with milk & water in the baby’s bottle with nothing else.

Your father calls to say he’s buying you a Burka to protect you from the sun.

You fall asleep at your town’s annual fireworks show because you’re so fatigued.

You’re heading to the bathroom and kick the dog toy. Limp to the couch to check out your toe. Forget what you where doing and start to watch TV.

You get thirsty, so you head to the kichen for a drink and hit the dog toy again. Limp to the desk, see you have started to respond to thread but can’t remember what you where saying. Later you have to go to the bathroom again and repeat almost the same steps over .

When your husband says, “Go left at the end.” and you merrily swing right and then look bemused when he says, “I said, go LEFT at the end.”

You forget yourself and run less than 25 feet and then spend the rest of the night in AGONY, taking everything you can think of to kill the pain.

You decide what to wear based on the size of your joints!

Your grandfather has more hair than you, and he is almost completely bald.

Your new favorite game is counting the number of new bruises you get in one day.

You know you have Lupus (or any invisible disease) when you can go to ButYouDontLookSick.com and find so many other people that will laugh at these same things with you!

24 Replies

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  • Excellent x

  • Brill Sher, though can't believe I could relate to quite a few of the above....oh heck;)!

  • Lol, that sounds like me on a good day....oh the joys!!

  • Excellent, my daughter has just asked "are you ok mum" as i was laughing so much

    Jani

    x

  • Haha this made me chuckle. A sense of humour definately helps!!lol xxx

  • Sher, you have just described my life to a tee. I see a brain specialist on Friday. I think I will give him a copy and say, sort that lot out. Thanks for the giggle. Take care. Gwen

  • A giggle to start the day off - superb :)

  • Love that - my best one is being really organised and wrapping up all the Christmas presents really early, putting them in a special place, but then I forget where the special place is! xxx

  • Fab. How long did it take u to write this? I couldn't recall what I had wrote 3 minutes ago so many congratulations. It must have been a good day for you. Gentle hugs and rest well. Looking forward to the next instalment x

  • Brilliant! Describes me so well. Glad im not the only one. X

  • And I just sent the Lupus Laughs to a couple of friends. Only I forgot to attach it! OMG.

  • Hopefully, we can all come back & look at this 2 give us all a good giggle when we're having a really crappy day :-) x

  • brill sher;))))))))))hope your still out of your two year flare?

  • The usual niggles but think I can safely say the flare has finally decided 2 sod off :) Yay! Thanks brave x

  • Thanks Sher for giving us a good laugh. Xx

  • Hee hee!

  • Great!!! Sounds just like me lol :)

  • Hahahahahahahahahahaha ..hahaha ..hahaha ..haha ..aaah ;)

  • Brilliant I've got to steal this for a giggle with my mates

  • this is great.

    Your father calls to say he’s buying you a Burka to protect you from the sun.

    hahahaha

    love it . thanks for cheering up an otherwise gloomy day! xxx

  • the story of my life and then my hubby tops it of by asking me "what are you doing"

    just wish I could remember....

    Brilliant,, loved it.

  • HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!

    OMG! My life as well!

    "You bend over to tie your shoes and wonder, “What else can I accomplish while I’m down here?”" Just happened when I I had to bend over and arrange the dishes in the dishwasher!!

    Loved the post!

  • Brilliant!!! Definately describes me.......

  • Oh my lord I'm T work reading this and laughing out Loud! THIS IS ME!!!!

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