Always ill in school holidays with 2 young children!!

[Sara_A]

Why is it I am always ill during the school holidays?!! My kids are 6y and 2y.

I was off sick from work for 2 months (only work 2 short days) all thru the the summer holidays and now it’s half term and I’m ill again.

On the weekend I was in bed or asleep for over 30 hours in 2 days, I was in bed asleep by 5.30pm one of the days. Today I’ve been on sofa all day, kids are fed and nappy changed and that’s about all I can manage.

Am so fed up of feeling like this I could just cry right now, I just feel like giving up x

[whisperit]

It's unimaginable to me how anyone could look after small children at the same time as coping with active lupus or anything like it. But now's the time to call on all the help you can - friends, fellow parents, family, holiday schemes to help carry some of the load. You are probably doing this already, but never be shy of asking for help. And reward yourself for all the work you are doing - have a bar of chocolate, or a bubble bath. You are a marvel (even if you feel like a wreck) x

[Sara_A in reply to whisperit]

I struggle with asking for help as family live either 35 mins away or an hour. I know they would help but I just feel bad having to ask.

Today I’m meant to be meeting the grandparents an hour away at a theme park where they are staying, I seriously don’t feel up to it!! They have offered to come get both kids and take them there for the day and they were keeping my 6 yr old anyway for a couple of days but bring my 2 yr old back later. I just feel so bad as it’s an hr drive each way for them!?

I feel like it’s always me messing up everyone’s plans cos I don’t feel well. I had a mega meltdown last night just feel like a useless parent x

[whisperit in reply to Sara_A]

Someone else here made a wise comment to another parent who was feeling the same way; try to remember that it is the disease that is responsible for messing with your plans, not you. As for calling on others, like the grandparents, I have exactly the same situation with my own parents. They are now in their mid 80s and both have cancer. I am supposed to be looking after them, but instead, they call in on me every week bringing me shopping, and often give me lifts to hospital appointments. The thing I've had to accept is that for them, helping me is something that gives them real satisfaction. Thney would feel far worse if, knowing I am unwell, they were giving me no practical help. I am sure your children's grandparents will feel the dsame - spending that little extra time with their grandchildren will be a rel pleasure for them, and knowing that they are supporting you will be a bonus. Honestly, if it were your grandchildren, you would be delighted to help your daughter (or in-law) in any way you could. Helping someone who really needs help is one of the things that keeps us happy! So, hard as it is, please do try and allow people to help out a bit more. Have a good day today x

[Sara_A in reply to whisperit]

Grandparents have been and picked up both children, they will bring the little one back this evening. So I am going to sleep and rest now!

Yes you are right, they don’t get to see them that often and esp my little one they dont get to have her on her own without us being there really so they will really enjoy that.

U are right, if I was the grandparent I’d do anything to help and would love to have the grandchildren.

Thanku for your reply’s, I just tend to have a wobble/meltdown every 6 months or so! I feel so useless and look at the mess in the house and the kids in their pjs all day and feel like a useless mum x

[whisperit in reply to Sara_A]

Doesn't it go with the territory - we are never quite the perfect parents we hoped to be, are we? Life kind of gets in the way. Anyway, they will all have a lovely day, and the grandparents will have warm glow afterwards of knowing that they have done a really good thing for the family they love. With a bit of luck, so will you x

[Treetop33]

Whisperit is totally right. Call on all the help you can. You are very lucky to have willing grandparents and normally grandfolk love having their grandkids to themselves. I tend to put mine in holiday club for a few days, whether I have work or not.

I always feel worse around school holiday times because it's never getting any downtime and peace (and I'm always triggered by stress). Sad but true.

[Sara_A in reply to Treetop33]

Thanks, yeah I know now that somethings got to change I have these meltdowns as I think it all just gets to a point and I just can go on any longer.

My partner and I have discussed this morning what options we have and there are a few, I just didn’t want to put my 2yr old into childcare when I was at home cos I miss her and also soon she will go to school and I’ll have missed that time then and won’t get it again. But then like dad says would u rather have 3 good days with the kids (2 in childcare) or 5 bad days ( no rest day for me) . Which is very true. And I will be able to have good quality time if I’m well.

Also I’m going to make a regular arrangement with grandparents either monthly or every other to have the kids on a sat so I can recouperate!